It wasn't meant to be....

Last Thursday was not a great day at the Bee House. Brandon sent me a text message asking for prayers because he thought the announcement for the position he applied for was about to come out.

I prayed and had a very unsettled feeling. I tried to shake it off and keep praying. I knew how much Brandon wanted it. Who am I kidding? I knew how much I wanted it for Brandon.

And then a very long wait happened and my phone rang. I said hello and I knew from the pause and they way Brandon's voice cracked when he said my name that things didn't go the way we had hoped.

The tears started rolling down my hot cheeks and mentally I started down a really dangerous path.

What do you mean he didn't get it? He's worked so hard... He deserves it. Look at all we have sacrificed! We took a huge chance to come here! Brandon helped change the course that the office was going down and improve the stats. We were one of the first internal transfers! Look at all his accomplishments....

I comforted Brandon the best way I knew how. All I could say was, "I guess it wasn't meant to be, God has something else planned." I choked back tears while I was on the phone with him. I excused myself to go take a shower and cry it out. When the water ran cold I got out and dressed. I found myself on the couch, as numb inside as I felt outside.

That night before I drifted off to sleep, I felt very convicted about my thoughts. I started thinking about what we really deserve. As sinners, we deserve hell. But we are offered the gift of forgiveness by God! I'm so thankful for that!

So now we wait...again. We will both keep looking ahead and working, while we wait for God to show us what is next.

[This post has been edited. See the October 5th posting for more information.]

A New Chapter

All adoption decisions are on hold right now. We continue to pray for guidance and pray for families that are currently on their journey to uniting with their children. Many of you know just how passionate we are about this and how strongly we desire to adopt again. My flesh wishes we could have started yesterday! But the rules say that we can't start another homestudy until January at the soonest. We are trusting Him and waiting. As much as it frustrates me, much of the adopting process is jumping through hoops and waiting.

In other news:

We may have finally found a church home. God is such a patient Father. He had to let us flounder in churches that WE thought we should be in and none of those worked.

There was one certain church that we kept passing... we looked online and they didn't match up with what we thought we needed or even wanted. This church is crazy small. The list of things they don't have that we thought we desired/needed is very long.

But we kept being drawn to this church. We surrendered... and went on Sunday. We were greeted by a very nice lady that helped us find our way (down ONE hallway. HA!) We were introduced to people that we had things in common with (SAHM, homeschooling, adopting, more than 2.5 children!) We were welcomed with open arms. Our three children that attended Sunday School/Nursery were well cared for and comfortable.

We were asked if we had prayer needs... We were included. We were not mocked, ignored or belittled. The sermon was biblically sound and unapologetic.

The peace in my heart is so very sweet right now. And I can't wait to meet more people, build relationships and finally have a regular place to worship and fellowship.

What I didn't expect was the tears that would come with closing the chapter to our old church. Yeah, I know, we've been here almost TWO years (can you believe it?!) But I had very special memories at my old church and very sweet friends. Brandon and I had unbelievable mentors and I had great memories of teaching a Sunday School class. Brandon and I met some incredible prayer warriors... who prayed us through a job loss, me going back to work and then coming back home, Lainey's public school issues, infertility diagnosis and failed treatments, our adoption and my most recent pregnancy!

It hit me like a ton of bricks on Monday morning, when I realized that we may have found a church that we can call "home." So the tears flowed. Everything made my eyes well up with tears on Monday. And it is with much sadness, that I realized that the friendships and memories will remain, but that Richmond is home. I've told myself a lie for almost 2 years. I told myself that this is a temporary assignment and that this will never be home. This was supposed to be short term... a stepping stone if you will. And as things line up, fall into place and become more clear, I realize that for now, this is home. I'm not sure if we will ever leave Richmond. And I'm not sure I would have ever agreed to come if I had known it was permanent. But, I certainly feel like God has more to show us about this place and about where He desires us to be.

And for the first time in a long time, I'm not dreading turning the page to see what is up ahead.

~Steph

It's going to be a crazy week....

This is what our schedule looks like this week:

Monday- Homeschooling and Chiropractor visits for Brandon and I. (Brandon went and there was a sign saying they were closed. I guess we missed the announcement.) Prep chicken for potluck on Tuesday.

Tuesday- Homeschooling and potluck at Brandon's work that our family was invited to. It's a potluck for his team of employees. Solomon turns 3 months old!

Wednesday- Homeschooling, Chiropractor visits for Brandon and I, trip to the library to pick up books for the next two weeks and Brandon's office wide picnic-- families included.

Thursday- Homeschooling and dental appointment for me.

Friday- Solomon's weight check appointment, chiropractor visits for Brandon and I, drop off consignment and Brandon's SECOND interview! Exciting! It's at 12 noon if you'd like to join me in prayer. :)

Soooooooooooooooooooooo.... I shouldn't have scheduled our homeschool to start this week.

Live and learn.

Edited to add: Thursday we also potentially have either rain from the hurricane or rain and wind. So everything on our porch needs moved off, we need to make sure we have water and flashlights. EEEKS!

Looking for Fundraising Ideas...

Brandon and I have been discussing adding a #5 to the Bee Family! We were actually getting ready to update our homestudy to add #4 last October when I found out I was expecting. So little Solomon snuck in and became our fourth.

It looks like we can start the process again when Solomon is 6 months old. Hopefully, we'll be able to confirm that this week.

In the meantime, I'm looking for fundraising ideas. Any thoughts or suggestions?

A few ideas that we've come up with include using our tax return. Also, if Brandon does indeed get this promotion, we'd save his raise each paycheck. And we already save all our change and don't spend it...

I hope to have more information soon and be able to make an official announcement then.

~Steph

PS: Brandon's interview is at 12 noon tomorrow!

*SQUEAL!* and a hodge podge

I just got word that Brandon was asked to interview for The Position on Monday at noon!

**************SQUEAL!*****************

Okay... enough of that. In other news, I'm almost done with Lainey's work for the entire year! I did something different this year and I'm so excited to share it soon! *Yay!* *Wahhhhoooo!*

Doing the same thing for Julianne, is well.. going much slower! *Boooooooooo!*

Xander now waves in response to "Hi, Hello, Good Morning, Bye, Goodbye and Good night." Yes, I've tested them all. :) He's been a bit cranky the last few days and we aren't 100% sure why. I'm guessing it's a growth spurt or teeth.

Solomon has been awake more.. and hungrier and hungrier! I've had marathon nursing sessions lasting at least an hour for the last 2 days or so. Growing is such a bittersweet thing though. It is neat to see his personality come out. Those of you that have met Brandon in person, know that well.. his facial expressions tell everything. I often lean in and whisper "Fix your face" when we are in awkward situations (per his request.. of course!) You can read his face from a mile away! Well... guess which one of our children appear to have this characteristic? Yes, my sweet Solomon. He will definitely be an interesting character.

This is his, "Are you done yet, Daddy?" look...

Still no good news on the hives situation. Still hiving.. since February now! They are less intense than they were but they are still here. I'm starting to wonder if I'll have them the rest of my life? Seriously, I do not remember what it feels like to not have hives.

Yesterday I went to the dermatologist to have a four suspicious moles checked out and only had to have one removed. I'll spare you the picture of that! It was easy to have it removed and I seriously didn't feel a thing. Don't hesitate to have any moles that looked at if they are suspicious!

I hope all is going well in your camp!

~Steph

So, I'm still up to my elbows assembling our curricula for this coming school year. I'm piecing together different programs for Julianne and DeLainey, so the planning is all on me.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut....

I wanted to document something super exciting that is going on at the Bee House. A few months ago, Brandon applied for a position his company posted for their Kansas office. It would have been a promotion and it looked really promising. He interviewed but didn't get the position. He didn't even really get much feedback. They just said that he was a promising candidate. Hmpf.

After that, we moved into our new apartment and continued living our lives here in Richmond. We managed to make it through me being hospitalized for preterm labor without any family nearby. A dear friend, Nikki, stepped up and took the children to her house (on Mother's Day Weekend folks- she had SEVEN total children, 7 and under!) so that Brandon could be by my bedside to help me make decisions and advocate on my behalf and Solomon's too! I wasn't responding to the medications and the doctor at one point was preparing us to have a 33 weeker in the NICU. The day I was discharged, I was still on bedrest so my aunt drove up from Georgia and stayed with us until after Solomon was born.

I can't explain it, but after that "test" was passed, I started liking Richmond more. I'm sure hormones played a huge role in my homesickness. And let's face it, it has been a roller coaster ride since we've been here. Between getting things set up, transitioning Lainey to school, starting the adoption process, bringing Lainey home to homeschool, being matched to Xander, Xander's hospitalization and discharge, adjusting to life with three and then finding out that we were expecting.. it's been a WILD RIDE!

I'm still not 100% in love with Richmond, but it's growing on me. I know the exact moment that I realized that Richmond had grown on me. Brandon's company posted a position in another city (that shall remain nameless, but it's much more southern than Richmond) and we prayed and discussed it. I just did not have peace about moving. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I had a huge, huge knot in my stomach when I thought about leaving Richmond. Brandon had the same feeling. So he didn't even apply! At that very moment I realized that I do like Richmond!

Okay, so fast forward to last week. Brandon got a cryptic text message from a co-worker and immediately got on his work laptop. I knew something had to be up because he was on vacation!

He walked into the kitchen and told me that there would be an opening for the position above him.... and it was for his current office, so no relocation would be involved. I looked at him with wide eyes. This is only the second time this position has come open since we moved here in November of 2008!

The wait began. The position posted this past week. Brandon submitted his appliation yesterday after getting his supervisor's blessing. So now we wait to see what happens. I'm so proud of Brandon no matter what happens. He is an awesome, dedicated hardworker and truly loves his work. (And I'm not just saying that because he is my husband.. I once trained Brandon for a company we previously worked for and no.. we weren't romantically involved way back when either!)

If you feel led to lift us up in prayer, please do so. I'm trying not to drive him insane by asking him if he has heard anything each time we chat, so pray for that too!

I'll keep you posted!

~Steph

I'm still here!

We had company this past week and I'm to my eyeballs in homeschool planning.. But I'm hoping to be back soon!