I'll never forget the day that we matched with Xander. I was working part time, so I drove to our agencies office very early that morning to drop off our profile book after first taking a moment in the parking garage to pray over it. I remember feeling like I was going to throw up. I dropped the book off and practically ran back to the van. Once I was there I remember praying for God to please keep me focused on the tasks I had at hand (driving, work, etc) and checked my cell phone to make sure it was fully charged.
Work was uneventful. I shared the news with some coworkers and they all told me that they were SURE we'd be picked. I thought "Oh that is what they think they are supposed to say, I guess" and kept saying "We'll see--ANYTHING can happen."
At 11am I got off of work and headed home. I regularly checked to make sure I hadn't missed any phone calls.
Brandon went to work, I homeschooled Lainey, and still NOTHING. I knew the appointment was supposed to be while I was at work... and then I started convincing myself that the REAL adoptive parents had already gotten their phone call and they were celebrating.
Then the phone rang. It was our social worker. She let me know that the appointment hadn't taken place yet and they had rescheduled for later that day. I told her to please call my cell phone, repeated my cell phone number twice and told her I was going to run errands to try to keep my mind busy. She laughed, said she understood and we hung up.
And I suddenly felt the intense need to pray for this little baby boy. I prayed hard. I prayed blessings over his future, over his adoptive parents, over his possible future siblings. I prayed for his birthmother, her family, her heart. I prayed that the social worker could comfort her and guide her in her decision making in a way that the birthmother would remember as compassionate, sensitive, encouraging and that the birthmother's decision would be something that gave her peace for the rest of her life.
Then I went one step further... and I prayed for the baby boy. I prayed for the day that he truly understands what it means to be adopted and that he would feel love from three sides.. from his adoptive parents, his birthmother and God. I prayed that he wouldn't feel shame in his adoption, but peace and understanding that this was God's will for his life.
Suddenly, I no longer felt the need to go out. Emotionally I didn't feel like I should go out. Or could go out. Instead I put the girls down for a nap and whipped out my Bible. I read James 1:27 over and over and Jeremiah 29:11... and then I felt a gentle nudge to check my cell phone... and it was OFF.
Flustered, I turned my phone on... and then I heard the chime that I had a voicemail. My stomach dropped.
I called my voicemail. It was Tami and she was following up, but there was no indication of whether or not we weren't chosen.
I called Tami back and went to voicemail.
I called Brandon and went to voicemail.
I called Tami back... voicemail.
I called Brandon back... voicemail.
I began to cry.. and pray! "PLEASE! Someone answer their phone!"
And then the pacing started.. back and forth. Back and forth.... "Please let my phone ring!"
It did. It was Brandon and I totally couldn't read his tone. Finally after what felt like eternity he said "Stephanie... you are the proud mama of a baby BOY!" And I jumped up and down and squealed.. and ran into the kitchen and did a dance right in front of the microwave (and this has become a tradition-- I've had the great pleasure and honor to do my Microwave Dance for TWO friends!)
Next Brandon said to check my email and that Tami had sent a picture of our new son... Brandon and I discussed his name and if we were going to stick with our choice and we agreed that he is indeed, Xander Jeremiah!
Of course, it took forever to load the picture (thanks Comcast!) but would any speed have been fast enough at that point?
I saw these two pictures:
And it was love at first sight.
I was speechless. He was beautiful and perfect. He was my son... my baby had arrived!
I sat on the couch and prayed.. thanking God for the wonderful blessing that I just saw unfold before my very eyes.. and I remembered that God knew for FAR longer than I did that this was my baby boy. I had prayed blessing over MYSELF when I prayed for his adoptive family (in an unselfish way).. and he was the first of many blessings to unfold from our adoption journey. I'm truly blessed indeed!
The next day, I got to meet my new son. I think this one picture says it all.
Thanks for taking a trip down memory lane with me.
Thanks for taking a trip down memory lane with me.
~Steph
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