Electricity Flowing

I can't share much right now but there is a tiny bit of movement here in the Bee Household. You can almost feel the electricity in that air!

If you think of us, would you pray for us on Monday afternoon? I'll announce as soon as we have something to announce. :)

I'm so thankful for every one of you that pray for us even during times that I can share so little. It is truly appreciated.

I have much more to share but I need to get some pictures first. The Bees have been busy with service projects and we've done some rearranging to make our modest rental home work for our lifestyle. I still love our last floor plan so much more, but the location and the privacy of this home is what grabbed our attention.

I'll write more soon!

Stephanie

Urgent Prayer Needed...

It's been a whirlwind here at our home this morning. I don't want to jeopardize anything by giving details but we would appreciate your prayers for this process to be smooth and without any further difficulties.

I feel like the rug has been snatched out from under us. :(

~Stephanie

And we wait..

(A picture I took on our trip to Susanna's. Doesn't it look like a postcard? Or a puzzle? Absolutely gorgeous!)

Our Interstate Compact paperwork left the NJ office on Friday afternoon... All FIVE sets of 200+ papers.

This is the ONE thing left to complete for Annalise to come home. As soon as this is cleared, we can go pick her up!!!!

Pray with me that red tape moves quickly!

Also, please continue to pray for my friend, Susanna. She is waiting for paperwork and red tape to clear so that she can travel internationally to bring Katerina home. Pray protection over Katerina. They are expecting to wait about 4 months to return to her, but we are praying for it to be expedited!

His,

~Stephanie

Specific Prayer Needs:

1. Annalise has an UTI and is on antibiotics. She was vomiting (they believed from the antibiotics) so they took her to the ER. That was the last I heard. Pray for healing and relief from any pain and yucky side effects of the medication.

2. 10 years ago I lived in South Carolina for a short time. There is a possibility I would need a form to go to SC and back before she can come home with us. (A NJ requirement not a VA requirement.) This makes us nervous because our form for Georgia like this got held up in our homestudy for Xander. Please pray we don't need this form. It only searches back 7 years and I have NOT lived in South Carolina during that time.

3. Please pray that our visit with Annalise and our placement takes place before August 17. Otherwise the soonest she can come home is after August 24.

4. Please pray for her foster family that has cared for her so lovingly while she has been in their care. We hope to be able to keep in touch with them. (We still keep in touch with Xander's cradle care parents.)

5. Pray for peace and comfort for her birthparents. They love her very much and we look forward to updating them just as we do Xander's birthmom.

6. Please pray for the children waiting patiently (or at least trying) for their sister. Julianne was in tears this morning because she said she just wants to see her Annalise so badly. :( We've talked about it to try to comfort them, but I'm praying for peace that passes understanding.

I cherish each prayer said on our behalf and thank you from the bottom of my heart!

~Steph

I can tell you about ONE thing..

You have no idea how hard it is for me to hold a secret. One corner of my lip always curls upwards when I know something and I'm trying to play "dumb." I'd be a horrible poker player.

Anywho, I got word first thing this morning that it happened. My ex-husband signed the paperwork we sent him asking him to terminate his parental rights so that Brandon can adopt DeLainey. It was recieved by our attorney and was notarized.

We filed paperwork this morning for Brandon to adopt DeLainey. The petition was sent and by now it should be sitting on a judge's desk.

I've waited 8 years for this day. Brandon has always wanted to adopt DeLainey. It's caused strife between the inlaws and I because they didn't believe that I had tried to make it happen. They wanted to make sure that Brandon's rights to DeLainey are legally recongized. I get it. But we've tried for years to convince him to sign and he said that he would never do it. I think the exact words were "over my dead, cold body."

I believe that my incredible prayer warriors had something to do with this (you didn't think I kept it completely quiet did you?) and I know that God has given me one of the greatest desires of my heart.

I can't describe the weight that has been lifted now that I know we are so close to legally making it where DeLainey would stay with the one daddy she knows if something were to happen to me.

I can't wait to change her social security card and such... She'll finally OFFICIALLY have our last name. The name that she has always wanted (and even uses in unofficial situations.)

YIPPEE!!!

PS: Lainey thinks it is REALLY cool that she will be "adopted" like Xander even though we've tried to explain that the two situations are somewhat different. Still she is excited! :)

Baby/Children Love is Contagious

So Julianne has prayed for a little sister since we started our first adoption in 2009.

Enter Xander.

She continued to pray for a little sister when I found I was pregnant.

Enter Solomon.

When we told the girls that we are going to start the process to adopt again, Julianne asked "Mommy, are we going to get a girl this time?"

I explained that I didn't know and that we might get a boy (we don't plan to specify gender this time either). Then I told her no matter if our baby is a girl or a boy, we will most certainly get the child God intends for our family.

Her response was:

"Well, Mommy, we could get a girl AND a boy at the same time. I know that is called twins. Wouldn't that be SO much fun? What would we name the little boy?"

I just had to laugh.

Where I've been..

So I haven't posted in awhile... But I haven't forgotten my blog. I've had some things come up and it's just a busy season in my life. So here is what I've been up to:

• I had an allergic reaction and had to see my doctor.
• We attempted to move Solomon into the nursery.. he's still in our room. ;)
• I had to see the dermatologist to have the site where a mole was shaved off my arm checked out. I was once again told that I'm a "super healer" and it was new skin that made the lump. Apparently some mole cells were left behind and it re-pigmented in the new scar, but I do not need to worry that it is asymmetrical because the labwork from the original mole came back fine. She stuck TWO needles in the lump and injected a steroid in it so that the lump will deflate. I return in 2 months to see if I need another dose.
• I've been restocking our pantry. During the winter I really use it down (because I hate to go out in the cold.. brrr...) so in the spring I need to do quite a bit of shopping to restock.
• While I was at the dermatologists, I asked about chronic hives. I figured the allergist's suggestions weren't working so I'd go after it from a different angle. It's been a YEAR of hives folks... I've now been hive free for THREE nights in a row and haven't needed Benadryl. Oh and did you know that Zantac is a histamine blocker? I now take three medications and I'm adjusting to the new haze of drowsiness. We are blocking H1's and H2's. (different histamines.)
• I've developed allergies living here! I enjoyed two springs with no allergies... but they are back. The 3 medications I'm on should help with the sinus irritation.
• My dear friend suffered a devastating loss. She was due in June and went to the midwife for an appointment and there was no heartbeat. I visited with her and took a meal over Wednesday. She was induced and delivered him this morning. Could you pray for her?
• Xander now adds "Mama" on the end of all of his requests. It's SO cute! "Please, mama?" "More, Mama?" "Cup please, Mama?" Tonight as I was cooking supper he stood nearby repeating Mama over and over. Mamamamamamamamamama! When I looked down he smiled and when I went back to work, he started again. I'm soaking it in!
• Xander now gives the BEST hugs. He pats your back when he hugs you, priceless!
• Lainey has read four chapter books on her own: Boxcar Children, Boxcar Children #3, Ramona Quimby, Age 8, and James and the Giant Peach.
• Julianne has a sudden interest in helping around the house and she loves being read to.
• Solomon is now sitting up! Just as I told the pediatrician last month, he just needed the milestone adjusted for his gestational age. He's drinking over 32 ounces of formula a day and loves to chew on the tags of his blankets and our dinner napkins.
• I sent Xander's birthmom a lengthy update of apple picking, Thanksgiving, our Disney Trip and Christmas.
• Brandon had a day trip for work to Washington, DC. He got to rub shoulders with the upper management of the company he works for and feels super positive about what he heard and the direction of the company!
• Another friend's grandmother died and I'll be attending the funeral tomorrow afternoon.
• The majority of our homeschool curriculum was ordered and arrived after a shipping fiasco. I'm pleased with it and can't wait to get more time to look through it in more detail!
• I got bad news from back home. My brother is in jail. I pray that this is his rock bottom and that he straightens his path. I learned a long time ago, that I can't make anyone change, but myself. People have to want to change. It is what it is, but it was still awful to see his mugshot.
• I've been working on a plan for next week. Brandon's schedule changes to 3 thirteen hour shifts this coming Monday. The four days off a week will be nice, but the three days he is gone will be long. I'll need to pace myself those days and have plenty of structure.

I'll try to not wait so long between posts. I'm praying that parts of my life slow down to a more manageable pace of course...

~Stephanie

I interrupt sharing our trip...

to tell you the most wonderful thought I had the other night.

Brandon and I were praying over our upcoming adoption and a specific child. God has closed the door on us pursuing the little girl we were praying over.

After many tears fell down my cheeks I realized that if we are matched next summer/fall.. our baby girl is being knit in secret right now!

We have so much to pray for over the next year.

God, please comfort our future child's birth parents as they seek information and choose life for their child. Please guide them to compassionate social workers and medical professionals. Please protect them from harm. We pray for their mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. Lord, I pray they know You and are going to celebrate the birth of Your precious Son this holiday season. In your Son's most precious name, Amen.

~Steph

Searching for Annalise

I've been quiet on the blog... things have been very fast paced around here. I'm not complaining when I say that, I'm stating the well... obvious! And I love every single second of it. All I've ever wanted to be since I was a little girl was a wife and mother. I can't imagine my life without Brandon and each one of my special blessings.

The call to adopt again has gotten stronger and stronger in my heart. I've read until I can quote facts and statistics. I've researched until the wee hours of the morning when I can barely hold my eyes open any longer. I've looked over photolists for waiting children so much that I can tell when they change the order or someone disappears. I can pick out the faces of children that are placed on the list as new additions. I've looked at several special needs and researched resources here in the Richmond area. We have amazing resources here!

Some nights I get a handful of hours of sleep before I get up to tend to the children we already have in our home. Some nights I'm laying in bed with my eyes closed but I never drift off... I pray for our Annalise often... now we just have to find her.

My dream last night had me so disoriented when I woke up. I had to walk through the house to check on the children.

In the dream, Brandon and I were walking down a long hallway. We could hear a little girl calling for us "Mama... Daddy?" over and over. Sometimes her voice was very loud and other times it was very muffled. Brandon and I walked down this corridor trying to open doors. Some doors opened easily, but our Annalise wasn't behind the door. Some of the doors opened and revealed another corridor with more doors. Some doors were locked. Still Annalise called to us. And we became more frantic the longer she called. We started running down the hall checking doors while we called out "Annalise!!! Talk to Mama and Daddy! Hang on, we are coming!"

I started crying out to God to show us where she was and finally the right door opened but the light was so bright we couldn't see her. And then I woke up, shaking and disturbed.

Brandon and I will continue to cry out to God, asking Him to show us where we can find our Annalise. In the meantime, we continue to save and earmark funds to bring our girlie home.

We are coming,
~Steph

Happy Birthday! - Love God

Tomorrow is my birthday.. well actually in about an hour, my birthday will start.

But I wasn't super thrilled.. in fact I bordered on being upset.

It's not that I'm worried about getting old. In fact, after having a few scary experiences I'm always thankful to turn another year older. Thank you GOD for keeping me on earth for another year!

It sounds silly... but I was upset that I have no baby pictures of myself. NONE. In fact I have a handful of pictures from when I was a toddler that my aunt passed to me but that is it. I have pictures from high school, but when I showed those to Lainey and Julianne, they both said "But MOMMY! You look the same!" Bless you children, but I'm getting you an eye appointment STAT!

I think it hit me this year because I have a new little one and we are actively photojournaling FOUR children these days!

So.. what did I do about it?

Well.. I took it to my Father. You know.. the one on call 24/7 to hear my cries, my praise, etc?

Yup.. I prayed and I asked God to make my heart STOP hurting or to help me get some pictures.

You won't believe this.

I got a phone call yesterday from my Aunt saying she stumbled across some photoalbums and wanted to know if I had any of my baby pictures? No.. I sure don't. The next question was "Would you like me to scan them and give you an electronic copy? Or 8 x 10's? Or 5 x 7's or do you have a preference?"

I didn't know what to say at first. She thought we were disconnected because I said nothing.

All I could think was "First I go from no pictures to pictures in whatever form or size I want?"

So I said "Whatever's easiest."

And when I hung up the phone, I got to share with my girls that God is awesome and sending us pictures of mama as a baby....

God is so good!


PS: My blog template expired.. I'll have to get on that later.. you know.. cause I have so much extra time. Bwahahahahahah!

A Year since Match Day and Love at First Sight!

** I am posting this late... please forgive me-- we've had LOTS going on. His match day is 4/14 and we met the first time 4/15.***

I'll never forget the day that we matched with Xander. I was working part time, so I drove to our agencies office very early that morning to drop off our profile book after first taking a moment in the parking garage to pray over it. I remember feeling like I was going to throw up. I dropped the book off and practically ran back to the van. Once I was there I remember praying for God to please keep me focused on the tasks I had at hand (driving, work, etc) and checked my cell phone to make sure it was fully charged.


Work was uneventful. I shared the news with some coworkers and they all told me that they were SURE we'd be picked. I thought "Oh that is what they think they are supposed to say, I guess" and kept saying "We'll see--ANYTHING can happen."


At 11am I got off of work and headed home. I regularly checked to make sure I hadn't missed any phone calls.


Brandon went to work, I homeschooled Lainey, and still NOTHING. I knew the appointment was supposed to be while I was at work... and then I started convincing myself that the REAL adoptive parents had already gotten their phone call and they were celebrating.

Then the phone rang. It was our social worker. She let me know that the appointment hadn't taken place yet and they had rescheduled for later that day. I told her to please call my cell phone, repeated my cell phone number twice and told her I was going to run errands to try to keep my mind busy. She laughed, said she understood and we hung up.


And I suddenly felt the intense need to pray for this little baby boy. I prayed hard. I prayed blessings over his future, over his adoptive parents, over his possible future siblings. I prayed for his birthmother, her family, her heart. I prayed that the social worker could comfort her and guide her in her decision making in a way that the birthmother would remember as compassionate, sensitive, encouraging and that the birthmother's decision would be something that gave her peace for the rest of her life.

Then I went one step further... and I prayed for the baby boy. I prayed for the day that he truly understands what it means to be adopted and that he would feel love from three sides.. from his adoptive parents, his birthmother and God. I prayed that he wouldn't feel shame in his adoption, but peace and understanding that this was God's will for his life.

Suddenly, I no longer felt the need to go out. Emotionally I didn't feel like I should go out. Or could go out. Instead I put the girls down for a nap and whipped out my Bible. I read James 1:27 over and over and Jeremiah 29:11... and then I felt a gentle nudge to check my cell phone... and it was OFF.


Flustered, I turned my phone on... and then I heard the chime that I had a voicemail. My stomach dropped.

I called my voicemail. It was Tami and she was following up, but there was no indication of whether or not we weren't chosen.


I called Tami back and went to voicemail.


I called Brandon and went to voicemail.


I called Tami back... voicemail.


I called Brandon back... voicemail.


I began to cry.. and pray! "PLEASE! Someone answer their phone!"


And then the pacing started.. back and forth. Back and forth.... "Please let my phone ring!"


It did. It was Brandon and I totally couldn't read his tone. Finally after what felt like eternity he said "Stephanie... you are the proud mama of a baby BOY!" And I jumped up and down and squealed.. and ran into the kitchen and did a dance right in front of the microwave (and this has become a tradition-- I've had the great pleasure and honor to do my Microwave Dance for TWO friends!)


Next Brandon said to check my email and that Tami had sent a picture of our new son... Brandon and I discussed his name and if we were going to stick with our choice and we agreed that he is indeed, Xander Jeremiah!


Of course, it took forever to load the picture (thanks Comcast!) but would any speed have been fast enough at that point?


I saw these two pictures:


And it was love at first sight.

I was speechless. He was beautiful and perfect. He was my son... my baby had arrived!

I sat on the couch and prayed.. thanking God for the wonderful blessing that I just saw unfold before my very eyes.. and I remembered that God knew for FAR longer than I did that this was my baby boy. I had prayed blessing over MYSELF when I prayed for his adoptive family (in an unselfish way).. and he was the first of many blessings to unfold from our adoption journey. I'm truly blessed indeed!

The next day, I got to meet my new son. I think this one picture says it all.

Thanks for taking a trip down memory lane with me.

~Steph

I'm still here!

Things are just super busy!

I'm just starting to be buried in boxes! We've been busy packing a little each day so that we can get it all done in time. Of course before you can pack, you sort (trash/donate/keep) and then you usually make a bigger mess than what you started with. We obviously can't live in the mess, so every few boxes, we are cleaning as we go. There are lots of breaks for bottles, new diapers, naptimes, meals etc.

This weekend was beautiful and made it very hard for us to stay indoors. We did make it to a park on Saturday and really enjoyed ourselves.

I've gotten information from 3 agencies so far. We are still praying fervently for guidance. Of course, they don't call their fees the same things, so it's kind of hard to compare apples to apples. I've started a few spreadsheets so I can try to keep up!

Brandon's mom is having surgery on Thursday. They are taking out (?) two discs in her neck and putting hardware in. Prayers for that procedure are greatly appreciated!

I'm headed to bed!

A Gift in the Mail...

Imagine my amazement, when Brandon walked in from work today and when I walked in the room to greet him, he was reading a letter. I asked who the letter was from and he said her name.

I thought I misheard him. It was a letter from Xander's birthmother! We regularly send updates and do ask our adoption coordinator about her every time we talk but we've NEVER gotten a letter. The agency had forwarded the letter to us on her behalf since Xander's adoption is semi-open. .

I was moved to tears as I read the words on the page and I'm positive it wasn't just hormones. It was such a precious thing for me to experience today. She's opened the door and given me permission to ask anything. The updates I've been sending are about us and Xander and not too many questions. I didn't want to pry. I'm not even sure what to ask... but I'll be praying for the right words. I'm not really sure what Xander will want to know later, ya know?

She's also opened the door to send updates MORE often... This makes my spirit dance! I often think about writing her more but wasn't sure what she would feel. Her original request was twice a year now after the first bit of his life.. and I sure didn't want to hurt her. Usually I write his updates a little at a time, and save them all up until the time to send them. I do the same thing with pictures. Now I can send them as they come. We'll be buying a box specifically for her letters. I'll also be letting her know that we welcome her letters and even pictures if she'd like to send us some.

It's amazing how we are so bonded... and we've never even met. We just share a place in the life story of this beautiful baby boy.. my Xander.

Yes.. the time stamp is right

It is really 2:37 am. I've been unable to sleep even with the aid of two Benadryl capsules.

My heart is heavy. Brandon and I are feeling the urge to start another homestudy. I've kind of hinted around about it on my Facebook and with some friends and the general consensus seems to be that we are nuts.

*sigh*

How do you unring a bell? How do you unhear a calling? How do you unsee a need?

I've prayed ALOT that if this isn't God's will for our family to please remove the desire from my heart. And each time the calling gets louder. I've tried to ignore God... I've tried to tell Him that right now is not a really good time for this. And each time I do, He puts someone in my path to remind me of the plight of the orphan. Or He gives me a dream at night... or someone asks about our adoption story. It's almost comical how He has reminded us. And remember when I shared that I found our homestudy after we decided to move to a bigger apartment?

Two nights ago, I asked another adoptive mom for a referral for a homeschool friendly, large family friendly social worker. We need to update our homestudy for another adoption. Well.. first we need to move but that is coming.. March 20th! I'll be making phone calls to get a feel for the social worker's thoughts on homeschooling and large families. Pray for those phone calls.

So tonight, I looked around some adoption sites I belong to. Two girlies jumped out at me. Both have special needs. Both of them are 4. Yes, I know... drop your jaw like I'm nuts. That would give us a 7 (Lainey), 4 (Annalise), almost 4 (Julianne), 10 months (Xander) and a new baby in June (Solomon). Brandon and I sent an inquiry on both of them.

And now I'm up... unable to sleep. Like a mama waiting on her child to come home from a late night.

God give me the strength to do this. Remind me of your awesome provision for Xander's adoption. Remind me how You smoothed each wrinkle and I didn't see any of them. Show me the child You've chosen for our family. Put the right people in front of me to make this happen in Your timing. And give me peace to know that this is what You desire for our family.
In Your Son's most precious name, Amen!

Neon Sign Kinda Girl...

I've ALWAYS been what I call a "Neon Sign kinda girl." I bet you are wondering what exactly that means... Stay with me while I attempt to explain.

Have you ever been in a situation where there is a fork in a road? And you aren't sure which way to go? You pray, you ask other people's advice.. perhaps you even fast. But the way you are supposed to go isn't clearly lit? It's not marked. One path doesn't look particularly more rough or rugged... so you can't use the process of elimination.

That is me... Over the years this has happened several times. And honestly, I have to pray for God to not only give me a sign... but to give me a neon sign. I like to think He giggles over His children.. like I giggle behind cupboard doors at my own children. Perhaps He says something like "Yup.. that is my child.. my neon sign child..." Maybe He sighs... or shakes His head. I do that with my own children, afterall.

We've been given some neon signs in the past. For example, Brandon prayed over leaving a previous company and going to another company. It involved a pay cut and we weren't really sure. Both options had their own positives.. and then suddenly he was let go from his old company. And almost immediately he got a interview with the company he was considering. He's worked for them for a few years now. I got my neon sign.

I'm at a place now that I need a sign... not a little sign... or a temporary sign... I need a neon sign.

(Sorry to be vague... I just can't say too much right now.)