Flee and Never Look Back...

So Thursday after recieving word that the promotion was not meant to be, I had to go back "home" to take care of some things. Brandon was able to go with me since he wasn't starting a new position. (How is that for timing? LOL!)

It wasn't fine and dandy. Most of the trip was okay but we quickly remembered why we were eager to move. We both have a low tolerance for drama... family drama included.

I'm not going to get into exactly what happened, but let's just say it wasn't pretty. And Wednesday, although I was so sad to have to say goodbye to my aunt, (who is more like a mother to me than the family friend she truly is) I couldn't wait to get back to Richmond. Seriously, the speed limit was not fast enough and I wish I could have teleported myself back.

Last Wednesday night when we arrived home, I checked some blogs I follow and I read this:

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2010/09/pillar.html#disqus_thread

And it touched me in such a way that I'm not sure I can clearly explain myself. Since November 2008, I've lived my life looking back. Looking at what we had, what was familiar, looking at the past. And it took the family drama for me to truly see that Augusta is not where our family should be.

God has made it clear that we are supposed to be in Richmond in the following ways:

1. Brandon had a very quick interviewing time for his position here. His offer was extended quickly. It blessed us financially.
2. Our move was the smoothest move we've ever experienced.
3. Xander's adoption was speedy and easy.
4. Brandon and I have had some insights that have made us understand what we believe and why we believe it.
5. We've brought Lainey home to homeschool-- something we wanted to do in Georgia but didn't have the guts to. He's blessed my efforts even when I feel like I can't homeschool effectively with four, 7 years old and under.
6. Our church is less than a mile from our first apartment here.. and a little over a mile from our place now. Yes.. all that church searching and it was just down the street!
7. It's been made clear that we haven't been meant to transfer out... at least not yet! (I've learned to never say never!)
8. I had wonderful care from my OB while I was pregnant with Solomon and the hospital I was treated at for preterm labor was less than 3 miles away. The close proximity allowed Brandon to bring the children to come visit me. This was my first pregnancy that I didn't have serious reservations about my care and change OB's mid pregnancy!
9. Julianne's asthma and respiratory issues are virtually non-existent (even though we now live in an apartment with carpet.)

I could go on and on... God's fingerprints are all over the details of our lives.

So I'm going to try VERY hard to not look back. I have a future to live.. here in Richmond.

Interestingly enough, I struggle with not looking back at what my life was like before I accepted Christ as well. Guilt, shame and fear live in my past. Old habits die hard. I'm trying...

~Steph

PS: I'm still working on that other post. I guess I'm not meant to share the story yet!