Flee and Never Look Back...

So Thursday after recieving word that the promotion was not meant to be, I had to go back "home" to take care of some things. Brandon was able to go with me since he wasn't starting a new position. (How is that for timing? LOL!)

It wasn't fine and dandy. Most of the trip was okay but we quickly remembered why we were eager to move. We both have a low tolerance for drama... family drama included.

I'm not going to get into exactly what happened, but let's just say it wasn't pretty. And Wednesday, although I was so sad to have to say goodbye to my aunt, (who is more like a mother to me than the family friend she truly is) I couldn't wait to get back to Richmond. Seriously, the speed limit was not fast enough and I wish I could have teleported myself back.

Last Wednesday night when we arrived home, I checked some blogs I follow and I read this:

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2010/09/pillar.html#disqus_thread

And it touched me in such a way that I'm not sure I can clearly explain myself. Since November 2008, I've lived my life looking back. Looking at what we had, what was familiar, looking at the past. And it took the family drama for me to truly see that Augusta is not where our family should be.

God has made it clear that we are supposed to be in Richmond in the following ways:

1. Brandon had a very quick interviewing time for his position here. His offer was extended quickly. It blessed us financially.
2. Our move was the smoothest move we've ever experienced.
3. Xander's adoption was speedy and easy.
4. Brandon and I have had some insights that have made us understand what we believe and why we believe it.
5. We've brought Lainey home to homeschool-- something we wanted to do in Georgia but didn't have the guts to. He's blessed my efforts even when I feel like I can't homeschool effectively with four, 7 years old and under.
6. Our church is less than a mile from our first apartment here.. and a little over a mile from our place now. Yes.. all that church searching and it was just down the street!
7. It's been made clear that we haven't been meant to transfer out... at least not yet! (I've learned to never say never!)
8. I had wonderful care from my OB while I was pregnant with Solomon and the hospital I was treated at for preterm labor was less than 3 miles away. The close proximity allowed Brandon to bring the children to come visit me. This was my first pregnancy that I didn't have serious reservations about my care and change OB's mid pregnancy!
9. Julianne's asthma and respiratory issues are virtually non-existent (even though we now live in an apartment with carpet.)

I could go on and on... God's fingerprints are all over the details of our lives.

So I'm going to try VERY hard to not look back. I have a future to live.. here in Richmond.

Interestingly enough, I struggle with not looking back at what my life was like before I accepted Christ as well. Guilt, shame and fear live in my past. Old habits die hard. I'm trying...

~Steph

PS: I'm still working on that other post. I guess I'm not meant to share the story yet!

WOW! It's been a wee bit crazy around here!

Early last week Brandon got word from the place we were renting our moving truck from telling him that we could pick it up on Friday afternoon. So we added a days prorated rent on Wednesday when we went to our new rental office to sign our lease and planned to start our move Friday evening.

Friday afternoon, we picked up our cat, Paulie from the animal hospital. I had a dopey cat in a carrier box, meowing during our move and I've added Dr. Doolittle to my many titles and job descriptions since I am now a pro at giving the cat his meds and don't even have to hunt him down... he comes to me!

We were blessed with two coworkers/friends from the office to come help us when they got off at 7:45pm. The move went pretty fast and we got everything in on Friday night. Everything except my beloved IKEA pantry that was very torn up by the time they got all 220 lbs out of the apartment. Oh well.. people before things right?

Just in case you are getting the impression that everything runs smoothly for the Bee Family, let me fill you in with some details. LOL

1. The pantry fell apart in about 3 pieces AFTER they got it into the truck. It didn't fall apart before they squeezed it out of the tiny doorway... nope. It made it across the apartment, through 2 doorways, down the steps and up the ramp into the truck when it disintegrated.

2. Once they started unloading at the new place, we realized the bunk beds would have to be taken apart more in order to fit around the corner and down the hallway into the girls room. Of course the tools were packed. So the bunk beds were in the living room until Brandon could find his tools. I put sheets and blankets on the mattresses and the girls didn't have furniture in their room until sometime late the next afternoon.

3. Dish could not install our service here the next day. Since they contract out their installations, the Dish installation manager wanted to come make SURE that they couldn't get it in, and so they came by too. No go. We still have Comcast, SIGH!

4. The washing machine in our new place has a broken part. For a family of 5, soon to be 6, this is disastrous.


Okay.. so you get the picture. NOT a smooth move, despite our best attempts to plan ahead. But we were in.

The next morning, I went to Williamsburg (an hour or so away) with the children to meet up with a friend that was visiting from Texas. I had a lovely day with Angie and Cliff and her 12 children and our kids played together beautifully. The moms even got time to talk!

Brandon stayed home to supervise the dopey cat, wait for the Dish installer to try to install and then went to the old place to do a final sweep and mop.

Colonial Williamsburg is beautiful and very neat and I can't wait for Brandon and I to return with the children. A MOM's group that Angie and I belong to has a retreat in Williamsburg each year so we'll be praying over that for next year. We walked alot and the kids slept the whole way home. I was BEAT!

The kids and I returned around 7pm that evening and then Brandon and I tackled some boxes and rearranging some things.

Sunday, I spent the day vegging out. I was afraid I'd overdone it between Friday and Saturday and my body was definitely letting me know to slow down. So I did.

Monday, Brandon had taken a vacation day, so we ran a long list of errands with the children. ALOT got done including:

Sams- Bought a freezer, renewed our membership, and bought some odds and ends.

Food Lion- Bought somewhere around 70lbs of beef that was custom cut for free. A total steal at $1.78 a lb. Saved more than I spent and didn't use a single coupon. Yes, please! We have 10 more sirloin tips that are being ordered for us. We are set for a while.

Came home to unload.

Lowes- 2 extension cords and a nut to fix our table leg.

Walmart- A return

Target- A return, buy a shower curtain, shower organizer, a birthday card, a giftcard, and have an encounter with a Leprechaun... *Tee hee*

Moes- Dinner. Burrito, drinks and chips $5.55. Baby Solomon is in love with cilantro and Mexican. YUM!

Library- return 2 books. I support the library through my taxes and don't need to support them through late fees. LOL It's been a hard concept to implement but I've gotten MUCH better!

We came home and unloaded.

Put the kids to bed and then crashed ourselves.

Tuesday was another slow day. Brandon worked and I completed some paperwork/admin stuff that needed done.

Whooooooooooo! I'm beat but things are coming together!

~Steph

PS: I have a long list of things to write about. Can't wait to get the blog caught up!

Contentment... The Biggest Lesson of Our Move

And the biggest struggle of my life. For far too long, it's been engrained in me to keep striving, changing, to push through my circumstances for the next thing.

Moving here has highlighted my lifelong struggle with contentment. When we first moved here, I prayed for God to show us a clear reason for our move here. And then we started the adoption process and were matched with Xander. He was born 12 miles from our rental. DING! DING!DING! I thought.. we have our reason.

And then we did our six months of placement, our three post-placement visits with our adoption worker and his adoption was finalized on December 22.

And after thanking God for all He did in that whole process... my next thought was "So.. um.. what is next?"

I was impatiently waiting for Brandon to get a promotion, get the raise that goes along with it and move on to the next thing. Whether that means to move back to Augusta or move to another location, I'm ready... and impatient. And it stinks.

I was SO discontent, that I searched his company's job posting website on a regular basis. I googled the towns that have the same kind of offices, looked up the states homeschool laws, looked at real estate and churches and the general cost of living. I walked around our apartment and thought about "When we pack this next..." or "Maybe we won't take that next time."

I found myself going over my moving checklist I made myself last time and editing it. Since I had one long distance move under my belt, I knew better what to expect for the next time, right? I found myself looking at our savings and longing for it to reach an amount that we could move even if Brandon isn't offered help with relocation expenses.

I got antsy... and one morning, during my quiet time, when I actually prayed for "our next move in Your perfect timing" I suddenly felt convicted. I mean... I trusted God for our move here right? Yes, I did. And I trusted that He knew best when He moved us here, right? Yes, I did. So do I trust Him to leave me here until He sees fit for us to move? Do I really trust His perfect timing?

I started to stutter and stammer and got sweaty hands trying to "reason" out a correct answer. You know how that is, right? You know the answer deep in your heart but you try to find another one that is the "right" answer. The pretty answer... wrapped in a nice bow. Oh the pridefulness...

And that is when I really started looking at what it really means to be content. I wasn't quite sure what it was, I just knew that I wasn't.

I haven't been checking the company's job postings. I haven't even looked at real estate. I've been here... in the now. And focusing on what my life is right now. Right now, I live in Richmond, Virginia. Right now, I have a 6, 3, and 8 month old. Right now, I am a stay at home, homeschooling mama. Right now, my husband is in the position he is in and doing a mighty fine job at it, if I may say so myself. Right now... this is where I am. And one day, when and if God sees fit, things will change. But for now... I am right here and each day I have to actively choose to be content.