Yesterday, I did something that I prayed I wouldn't have to do.
I had to call and cancel Annalise's appointments. When we matched in July, I was given a list of specialists that we would need to set up appointments with. I was never given any dates for when Annalise would be coming home but was asked to find specialists and set up care with them.
So I guessed. I thought surely, surely, by September Annalise would be home.
That first appointment was scheduled on Friday, September 9th. And we've had to come to grips with the fact that she won't be home by then.
And then, I had to cancel the appointment at CHoP, for next week.
We are bummed. I've cried. But our hands are tied. We have done everything that has been asked of us.
I'm not losing hope. I know deep down, that God can still do it. He can. And as much as I want to believe that He will.. I have to be realistic and say that right now it doesn't look like she will be here in time.
I'm brokenhearted and I've cried buckets. Buckets and buckets of tears.
And I'd do it all again- over and over. She is worth it. She matters.