Yesterday was a very frustrating day. I could run through the long laundry list of petty and more serious offenses that were commited. In addition, Brandon and I deviated from the regular rhythm of our family and it only compounded the frustration that was surging through me.
And then Xander did it.
He drew on the wall. Can you believe that he was my FIRST to draw on the wall? I've been a mama for 9 years... and my THIRD child is the one to do it.
In a moment of self preservation, I put all the children to bed early and ordered chinese food. (Don't worry they had already had dinner.)
And I sat in a puddle of self pity, frustration and anger as I sipped my ridiculously hot egg drop soup.
I vented. And I even cried.
And then when Brandon got home, I showed him our little artist's work and we went to bed.
This morning while I was getting ready for church something happened. Xander asked, "Can I have a second cup of milk, pwease, Momma?" And in a split second, it all shifted.
Instead of seeing my little trouble finder, I saw a little boy that has beat SO.MANY.ODDS!
See my little boy with his amazing vocabulary? We were once told that he may never talk.
My right handed artist who used fushia as his color of choice last night is the same little boy that we were told may never develop his fine motor skills.
My little kangaroo that jumped all over my bathroom as I fixed my hair this morning? We were told that he may never walk, run or jump.
Xander was born 3 years ago-- unfortuately he was born drug exposed and I watched as he painfully withdrew for over three weeks.
And during those three weeks, almost every medical person I had contact with made it clear that they were going to tell me about the worst case scenario of what life is like for a child born with drug exposure. They expected me to cave to fear as I sat there alone. (Brandon was out of town for work and we didn't have a support system here yet.)
I think they expected me to back out of our adoption. Instead, I clung to the truth that every child is a blessing, no matter their circumstances. Every child matters. And God will gift each of us with the specific gifts and callings that we need for our journey on earth.
I clung to the promises of God as I rocked in that rocking chair as fast and hard as I could make it go. It was all that soothed him and I rocked him for hours on end like that. Every time someone brought me a worst case scenario, I immediately began praying over Xander.. I had accepted the possibilites but I begged and pleaded with God to please allow my new little boy to reach his full potential. I claimed healing and victory on his behalf.
This morning, what shifted was my perspective. Xander is the same little boy that he was last night, although now he says, "Mommy, Gan-ger not color on da wall, no more!"
Instead of seeing my defiant toddler artist, I see the little boy that I have clocked a bazillion hours in prayer for.
Today, I'm choosing to be thankful that he is even here to color on my wall. I'm thankful he is developmentally on target and doing NORMAL things-- like coloring on a wall.
He is a blessing and so far, has beaten all the odds put before him.
Is there something in your life irritating you that could be changed with a perspective change? I urge you to do it. Life is so much sweeter when you quit sweating the small stuff... and in the grand scheme of things, lots of what we deal with here on earth, is small stuff.