Monday I had an appointment with a new to me doctor. She is a family practioner that has chosen to focus on women's health.
I was nervous going in. I've only ever used an OB for my pregnancies and annual check ups. But I was quickly growing dissatisfied with the types of care that were provided by the OB I was using.
I see things so much more differently when it comes to pregnancy and birthing than I did with my first. My goal with DeLainey's birth was to both make it out alive. Seriously. I was young and scared and just wanted to live. It seems a bit dramatic looking back, but that is where I was back then. I had no support for breastfeeding-- in fact I didn't actually KNOW anyone that had successfully breastfed. I was working full time and a full time college student, so formula is what we did. It never even crossed my mind to try to pump for Lainey.
Julianne was my csection. I happened to be using an OB that pregnancy with an astonishingly high csection rate. No surprise that he convinced me I *needed* a csection too right? I'm NOT saying csections are never needed. I'm saying that NOW I know that our csection rates are so high. They are higher than you see in other countries. I tried to nurse, but only lasted about 3 weeks. Again, I had no support other than a well meaning husband that had never nursed. LOL
Between Julianne and Solomon's birth, my friends shifted a good bit. Suddenly, I knew women that had years of nursing experience under their belt. I actually knew women that had VBAC successfully and *gasp* I even knew women that had used a midwife and homebirthed. My eyes were opened in a way that I can't explain.
I wasn't ready to make a HUGE leap, but I did suddenly have the reassurance I needed to attempt to VBAC. I exclusively nursed Solomon for 6 months and our nursing relationship survived mastitis and a nursing strike.
But something was different this pregnancy. As the subchorionic hemorrhage disappeared and the previa moved, and yet I continued to see interventions thrust upon me with no solid, evidence based reasoning given, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable.
And then my OB dropped the bomb that he would be out of town during the weeks that I normally deliver. I know first hand that his partners are NOT as supportive of a VBAC and in all honesty, I only consider my chosen OB to be minimally supportive.
So the prayers started. I spoke with our family practioner and he really encouraged me to go for the birth that I desired and not be herded along with the current "norms" that are accepted here by lots of women with no questioning.
So I did. I asked around and prayed A LOT! And it brought me to the appointment with the new to me doctor on Monday. We had a very relaxed talk about what HER policies and procedures were and I walked out actually excited about giving birth this time. The things that my old OB said concerned him, didn't concern her nearly as much (and some things not at all!) She is VERY Pro-VBAC especially since I have successfully done so in the past and practices evidence based care, instead of herding all of her patients along a single path. She is very supportive of breastfeeding.
She was also willing to try a different medication instead of continuing the shots that were giving me 6 days of side effects every week. I had discussed the side effects with my original OB on multiple occasions and only got the NICU guilt trip. He NEVER told me that there were other options available.
After lunch and prayer, I signed the paperwork to change doctors. This also means that I'll be delivering at another hospital... so we have a hospital tour coming up.
Then on Thursday, we put in our first house offer here in Virginia. It quickly became clear that the sellers wanted their cake and to eat it too and today we let them know that we are no longer interested in continuing negotiations.
So we'll see. I know that our house is out there but it is a bit discouraging given our small budget. We do have the advantage of not having to sell our own house first, so we'll see!
Some days I feel like our world is spinning too fast... but we always make it through. The speed of life leaves me clinging to God and I have a feeling that THAT is right where God wants me. :)