A Divine Appointment... Disney Style

We are home! We had a fabulous week and I can't wait to share all of our adventures but first I'm so excited to share this story.

I believe in divine appointments. Years ago, I was the subject of a Divine Appointment myself. I get giddy when I realize that God has used me in encouraging others. So I want to share this little gem with you!

Thursday night we went to Downtown Disney and ate at Wolfgang Puck Express. It was delicious but soon after Solomon and Xander had the biggest meltdown of the trip. I suddenly felt like we should go "home" back to the hotel. I was a little bummed that we didn't get to look in some of the stores but I mentioned to Brandon that maybe we could come back the next night and he quickly agreed. We rode the Disney bus to the hotel, tucked everyone in and had some quiet time together. I couldn't get Downtown Disney off of my mind for the rest of the night.

Fast forward, the next day we went back to Downtown Disney. This time earlier in the night. They had a Santa there and since we hadn't gotten a chance to visit Santa yet this year, Brandon put us in line. Solomon started fussing and I knew he was ready to nurse. So I grabbed my nursing cover and headed to the nearest bench. There was a lady sitting there with a little boy.. maybe 3 or 4 years old. I typically try to sit by myself to nurse but for some reason (wink, wink) joined her on the bench.

Her son asked her why Solomon was under my nursing cover and she explained that I was feeding him and that was how she had fed him. We struck up conversation and before long we were chatting family and husbands. The conversation flowed SO easily, like when you call and catch up with an old friend.

The spacing of the boys came up and she was so kind! I mentioned we adopted and then we found out I was expecting and she asked The Question. "Were you trying?" I quickly said "Oh we weren't trying or preventing.. God builds our family." She smiled BIG and was very positive.

I found out that she was from RICHMOND! And she asked some questions about adoption. She shared which denomination she belonged to (happens to be the same as one of the agencies we used.)

Then she got a little quieter and said that she had had two miscarriages. One at 9 weeks and one at 16 weeks and that she wondered if statistically she was doomed because both of the baby girls had Turner's Syndrome. She went on to say that a genetic specialist encouraged her to try again and that statistically odds were in her favor. But that she had a little doubt in her heart and she just didn't know.... after all she had lost two baby girls in a row with the same genetic syndrome. She thought that those odds were significant.

I could tell she was hurting and needed encouragement. My heart was just skipping beats during this portion of our conversation. I looked her in the eyes and softly said "Our God isn't a God of statistics." And shared our amazing story (matched 2 weeks after we were approved to adopt, pregnant a few months later when earlier in our lives several "perfect, textbook" cycles with medical help didn't end in pregnancy, my VBAC, etc, etc.) Her eyes lit up and her facial expressions were TOTALLY different after I reminded her that God doesn't follow stats. He follows His planning! Her husband walked over during that part and you could just see the weight lifted off of his shoulders!

Right then, Lainey came over and when I acknowledged her she asked "Daddy wants to know if you are coming back?" Oh. Yes. I quickly said goodbye and started to walk away. I turned around, thinking "Oh maybe I should exchange some information.. and we could talk again." And just like that, she was gone.

I still have goosebumps. STILL! God can use you ANYWHERE. Even in Downtown Disney waiting in a Santa line. *grin*

The Gap

When I look in the picture in the header of my blog, I see something that most people don't. Of course I see four children, the youngest crying and the oldest trying to console him. I see two girls and two boys. I see that Xander is not the least bit interested in posing for pictures at all.

But I also see a gap in between Julianne and Xander, a baby that was in our lives that isn't in our day to day life anymore.

In December 2006, our Julianne was only 6 months old when I began to feel oddly. I took a pregnancy test and a line came up very quickly!

Brandon was in the livingroom playing video games with our friend, Chris. I called him into our master suite and showed him the test. He smiled and kissed me, I saw him puff out his chest a bit and he walked back into the livingroom where our guest was waiting for him.

And then my mind started racing. THREE? THREE children? Woah.. we said that we were "done" after Julianne! Julianne and the new baby would be 15 months apart. Much closer than the 39 month spacing between DeLainey and Julianne. How will I manage? What would people think? What would our families say? What if I had hyperemesis again? What if I am put on bedrest again?

Brandon didn't seem worried at all. He was thrilled. He was amazed that I was pregnant (while on the Birth Control Pill no less) after trying so hard and eventually using the fertility medication, Clomid, to conceive Julianne.

Slowly, I adjusted my thinking and embraced my pregnancy. Don't think for a second I didn't love my baby instantly- I did. I was just concerned about the logistics. I later lost that pregnancy immediately following my first doctor's appointment and ultrasound.

We were both devastated. Brandon says that the sound of me crying when they told me our baby was gone haunts him to this day and that he has never felt so helpless in his life. September 2007 came and went, without another baby joining our family.

Now, I am super thankful that Xander joined our family and then Solomon. But the pain of my miscarriage is still there and I still see The Gap.

Every September 19, I think of how we would be celebrating a birthday. This year, that baby would be three. No one really talks about our baby that died and that is probably the most difficult thing to deal with now. No one seems to remember or see The Gap but me.

~Steph