-nother boy!
We were all shocked. Even Brandon thought it was a girl this time!
The best news of my appointment is that there is NO EVIDENCE of a subchorionic hemmorhage.
That is right...
NONE.
Praising the One I know and love!
There is still a need for prayer though. I have a marginal previa which means that the placenta is too close to the cervix. There is still plenty of time for it to move... well it doesn't really move, the uterus stretches and the placenta goes with the uterus.
Anywho, it does make me at risk for more bleeding and if it doesn't move, then I could need a repeat csection.
But I've been taken off of bedrest and told to take it easy. (No heavy lifting, etc.)
Once again, I'm surrendering this to God. He knows how our baby will come. Julianne needed a csection to get here safely. And as a mother, I'm willing to sacrifice my comfort and desires for my wee one.
Oh and his name is Isaiah.
A few months before I knew I was pregnant, we were studying a passage in Isaiah and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I love lots of passages in Isaiah. I told Brandon after service, that the name Isaiah really stuck with me. When we were scared we would lose our baby, several of my friends sent me verses from Isaiah and it again, made the hair on the back of my neck stand up... God is just soooo good like that!
My favorite passage, one I repeated several times a day on bedrest was from Isaiah is 40: 28-31.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men will stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. " (NIV)
Love that. What a powerful passage to those that are demoralized and weary.
Isaiah's middle name is Samuel.
1 Samuel 1:27 is often quoted.. but rarely do you hear the next verse with it.
"'I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him....' " - 1 Samuel 1:27
and then:
"So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.' And he worshipped the Lord there." - 1 Samuel 1:28.
What a powerful statement. One of surrender and trust. And faith. And worship!
Brandon and I have walked a long road so far. We've had trial after trial here lately, and we are still living joyfully in a relationship with God. But we realized that this baby isn't ours. He's the Lord's. We prayerfully hoped and prayed while surrendering... and what a sweet surrender that was.
I can't wait to see Mr. Isaiah Samuel. His story started before his birth... and I've already learned so much from him!
~Stephanie
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Monday, March 12, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Blabberings from Bedrestland...
Whew, bedresting is exhausting and mindnumbing. We are getting lots of school done these days because mama can't do anything else and we are homebound. Julianne is almost done with her kindergarten assignments and we had to purchase another workbook to keep her going in something because she looooooooooooooves school so much.
Lainey is chugging along too. She isn't as eager as Julianne but we are steadily working through the remaining assignments she has.
Wednesday we got a call from our OB's nurse telling us that the pharmacy had insurance approval for the Makena shots and we just needed to speak with them before they could ship them. Brandon got to be that person because all of the red tape I've dealt with this year as made me frustrated and I'm supposed to be relaxing. I could build us a house out of the red tape we've dealt with this year.
The shots were overnighted to our OB's office and I got to be the lucky recipient that afternoon. YE-OUCH! I'll continue to get those shots every week until 32 or 35 weeks. (I find out more tomorrow.) Brandon sweet talked the nurse into letting us have a listen to the baby's heart beat as my prize and the heartrate was 162!
Seeing the doppler makes me so nervous each time because we've had such a hard time finding the heartrate easily and that always makes me panic. So I hold my breath and pray but this time it wasn't nearly as panic-inducing.
I walked out on cloud nine.
But returned back to bedrestland.
Tomorrow, I have an appt at 3:15 (eastern time) for an ultrasound and then an office visit with my OB. He told us that they will be measuring the hemmorhage site, seeing if the part of the placenta re-attached, and checking cervical length. A 2nd trimester SCH raises risks for preterm labor so that is concerning given my history (and what we are hoping the shots help with!)
Then he winked and said "We'll see about getting a peek at gender as well."
So we might! If we do, then in Bee tradition we will announce the baby's name. If not, then I have at least one more ultrasound at 18-20 weeks. That is the big anatomy scan.
Eventually we will know!
Thanks for the prayers and thinking about us. We greatly appreciate the thoughts and prayers.
I'll update ASAP tomorrow night.
~Stephanie
Lainey is chugging along too. She isn't as eager as Julianne but we are steadily working through the remaining assignments she has.
Wednesday we got a call from our OB's nurse telling us that the pharmacy had insurance approval for the Makena shots and we just needed to speak with them before they could ship them. Brandon got to be that person because all of the red tape I've dealt with this year as made me frustrated and I'm supposed to be relaxing. I could build us a house out of the red tape we've dealt with this year.
The shots were overnighted to our OB's office and I got to be the lucky recipient that afternoon. YE-OUCH! I'll continue to get those shots every week until 32 or 35 weeks. (I find out more tomorrow.) Brandon sweet talked the nurse into letting us have a listen to the baby's heart beat as my prize and the heartrate was 162!
Seeing the doppler makes me so nervous each time because we've had such a hard time finding the heartrate easily and that always makes me panic. So I hold my breath and pray but this time it wasn't nearly as panic-inducing.
I walked out on cloud nine.
But returned back to bedrestland.
Tomorrow, I have an appt at 3:15 (eastern time) for an ultrasound and then an office visit with my OB. He told us that they will be measuring the hemmorhage site, seeing if the part of the placenta re-attached, and checking cervical length. A 2nd trimester SCH raises risks for preterm labor so that is concerning given my history (and what we are hoping the shots help with!)
Then he winked and said "We'll see about getting a peek at gender as well."
So we might! If we do, then in Bee tradition we will announce the baby's name. If not, then I have at least one more ultrasound at 18-20 weeks. That is the big anatomy scan.
Eventually we will know!
Thanks for the prayers and thinking about us. We greatly appreciate the thoughts and prayers.
I'll update ASAP tomorrow night.
~Stephanie
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
The Mindgame
I've had a tremendous amount of quiet time in my head which can be seen as a good thing or a bad thing depending on who you are. I'm on Day #9 of bedrest and while I'm not a happy camper about being sidelined as my family continues on without me playing an active role, I'm doing what I was told was the ideal to give our baby the best chances.
I hate chance. Anyone that knows me for about 5 minutes knows that I'm a play it safe kind of girl. I want a sure thing. And as I get older I realize more and more that nothing is a sure thing while you are here on earth. Not a thing here is a sure thing.
I watched a friend bury her husband. Growing old with the man you love isn't a sure thing.
I watched a friend lose two sons in a row. Babies making it safely through pregnancy isn't a sure thing.
I walked a road of infertility and miscarriage and watched several friends as they walked the same road. Getting pregnant and staying pregnant just isn't a sure thing.
Brandon and I have quietly whispered in the dark (so as not to have to watch the tears fall down each other's cheeks) about the what ifs. We've talked about the hard possibility that our baby may not make it. (The subchorionic hemmorhage is behind my placenta and raises the odds of placental abruption quite a bit.) I'm not in Lala-Land where every problem is solved neatly in a 30 minute or 60 minute show.
This is real life-- where the only thing that is a sure thing is God. And I've clung to Him. I lay my fears and worries at His feet each day-- sometimes several times a day. I've re-read stories about miracles and things that look horrible from an odds point of view. Just because I'm a believer doesn't mean I'm promised an easy life. What I am promised is eternal life. THAT is a sure thing. My ONE sure thing. And that joy and hope keeps me going each day.
I'm in for the fight. This is a MINDGAME. I can't let the excitement be snuffed out. I simply refuse!!!!!
I am still refusing to let these complications steal our joy. The girls talk about "when our baby comes" and I force my mind go there instead of shielding my heart. We've arranged our school schedule to take a break in the fall "when our baby comes." We've chosen names. I've looked at coming home outfits.
Years ago, I wrote in my inspiration journal the following quote:
"Quit telling God how big your storm is, and start telling the storm how big your God is!"
So I am. Every morning, I lay in bed and praise the One that knows how this turns out. I thank Him for one more day with our baby. I thank Him for the children I have and my husband, who has been my biggest cheerleader during these 9 days. While I hope with all my might, I've tearfully prayed for the Lord's will to be done.
If we lose our baby, we will grieve. But every second that I'm still pregnant, I will continue to look forward to that little life. The 5th set of little feet joining our family. Our tiebreaker.
Either way, a testimony is being written. I'm just the storyteller. How blessed I am to know Him and recognize His works in our lives.
~Stephanie
I hate chance. Anyone that knows me for about 5 minutes knows that I'm a play it safe kind of girl. I want a sure thing. And as I get older I realize more and more that nothing is a sure thing while you are here on earth. Not a thing here is a sure thing.
I watched a friend bury her husband. Growing old with the man you love isn't a sure thing.
I watched a friend lose two sons in a row. Babies making it safely through pregnancy isn't a sure thing.
I walked a road of infertility and miscarriage and watched several friends as they walked the same road. Getting pregnant and staying pregnant just isn't a sure thing.
Brandon and I have quietly whispered in the dark (so as not to have to watch the tears fall down each other's cheeks) about the what ifs. We've talked about the hard possibility that our baby may not make it. (The subchorionic hemmorhage is behind my placenta and raises the odds of placental abruption quite a bit.) I'm not in Lala-Land where every problem is solved neatly in a 30 minute or 60 minute show.
This is real life-- where the only thing that is a sure thing is God. And I've clung to Him. I lay my fears and worries at His feet each day-- sometimes several times a day. I've re-read stories about miracles and things that look horrible from an odds point of view. Just because I'm a believer doesn't mean I'm promised an easy life. What I am promised is eternal life. THAT is a sure thing. My ONE sure thing. And that joy and hope keeps me going each day.
I'm in for the fight. This is a MINDGAME. I can't let the excitement be snuffed out. I simply refuse!!!!!
I am still refusing to let these complications steal our joy. The girls talk about "when our baby comes" and I force my mind go there instead of shielding my heart. We've arranged our school schedule to take a break in the fall "when our baby comes." We've chosen names. I've looked at coming home outfits.
Years ago, I wrote in my inspiration journal the following quote:
"Quit telling God how big your storm is, and start telling the storm how big your God is!"
So I am. Every morning, I lay in bed and praise the One that knows how this turns out. I thank Him for one more day with our baby. I thank Him for the children I have and my husband, who has been my biggest cheerleader during these 9 days. While I hope with all my might, I've tearfully prayed for the Lord's will to be done.
If we lose our baby, we will grieve. But every second that I'm still pregnant, I will continue to look forward to that little life. The 5th set of little feet joining our family. Our tiebreaker.
Either way, a testimony is being written. I'm just the storyteller. How blessed I am to know Him and recognize His works in our lives.
~Stephanie
Friday, March 2, 2012
Updates!
Thursday, I went to my OB appointment. We had a scare with the heartbeat and the first nurse could not find baby's heartbeats and left us alone in the exam room.
I started crying. Brandon was rubbing my hair and trying to reassure me about "those crazy machines" when the second nurse walk in.
She walked in and said "Oh let's find this wiggleworm!" And when she came around, she noticed I was crying. I don't hide crying well. My face gets splotchy red and my eyes swell up. (I have a certain daughter that does the same exact thing when she cries.) So she said some reassuring words to me, but I'm not really sure what they were because I was praying so hard for a heartbeat to still be there and the baby to cooperate.
And finally we found it. It seems like we have a little drama king or queen on our hands.
We discussed the ultrasound in the hospital with our doctor and he let us know that things could go either way. In our favor, we have a baby measuring ahead of date (so the placenta is nourishing baby well), a strong heartbeat and an active baby... along with prayers of our family and friends!
But bleeding in pregnancy is always worrisome. It is less worrisome since we have a cause and can monitor it and compare.
My ob went ahead and started the process to get the P17 shots ordered for me. I'll take one every week until I am 32 weeks and then we will discontinue. My doctor chuckled as he said this could be my longest pregnancy ever with the shots.
The shots have to be compounded and approved through our insurance so I should hear more this week about when to come in and have it done. Pray for me, they'll be teaching Brandon how to give me shots. EEKS! I'll be really sweet to him those days.
After we left the OB we got called back because it looked like I had an UTI but the first nurse dumped out the sample. So... I had to go back. I'm now on antibiotics.
My doctor is out of the country on his daughter's spring break trip so, we are praying double that this week is uneventful!
Thursday afternoon, we also found out that Xander's cdiff lab came back negative. The Flagyl is working, which means that it is more likely to be SIBO (Short Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth) which is not contagious.
Xander is doing the best he has in months. The day I came home from the hospital, my aunt had dressed in him blue jeans!!! He has refused blue jeans for quite some time, opting only for stretchy, sweat pant material that he kept low on his waist. He is eating a variety of foods now, eating larger amounts and most importantly, not having ANY diarrhea. In fact, when we tracked his dirty diapers, Solomon and Xander had the same number of dirty diapers in a day.. at the same times!
We are praising God for His mercy. It is so relieving to me to see Xander do well even though we are highly concerned about our wee one as well.
In a move of optimism we chose baby names tonight. In Bee tradition, we will not announce the name until we know the gender. BUT, we may find out sooner this pregnancy than any pregnancy before. I have a follow up ultrasound/peri/OB appt on March 12th and we may get a look at gender.
~Stephanie
I started crying. Brandon was rubbing my hair and trying to reassure me about "those crazy machines" when the second nurse walk in.
She walked in and said "Oh let's find this wiggleworm!" And when she came around, she noticed I was crying. I don't hide crying well. My face gets splotchy red and my eyes swell up. (I have a certain daughter that does the same exact thing when she cries.) So she said some reassuring words to me, but I'm not really sure what they were because I was praying so hard for a heartbeat to still be there and the baby to cooperate.
And finally we found it. It seems like we have a little drama king or queen on our hands.
We discussed the ultrasound in the hospital with our doctor and he let us know that things could go either way. In our favor, we have a baby measuring ahead of date (so the placenta is nourishing baby well), a strong heartbeat and an active baby... along with prayers of our family and friends!
But bleeding in pregnancy is always worrisome. It is less worrisome since we have a cause and can monitor it and compare.
My ob went ahead and started the process to get the P17 shots ordered for me. I'll take one every week until I am 32 weeks and then we will discontinue. My doctor chuckled as he said this could be my longest pregnancy ever with the shots.
The shots have to be compounded and approved through our insurance so I should hear more this week about when to come in and have it done. Pray for me, they'll be teaching Brandon how to give me shots. EEKS! I'll be really sweet to him those days.
After we left the OB we got called back because it looked like I had an UTI but the first nurse dumped out the sample. So... I had to go back. I'm now on antibiotics.
My doctor is out of the country on his daughter's spring break trip so, we are praying double that this week is uneventful!
Thursday afternoon, we also found out that Xander's cdiff lab came back negative. The Flagyl is working, which means that it is more likely to be SIBO (Short Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth) which is not contagious.
Xander is doing the best he has in months. The day I came home from the hospital, my aunt had dressed in him blue jeans!!! He has refused blue jeans for quite some time, opting only for stretchy, sweat pant material that he kept low on his waist. He is eating a variety of foods now, eating larger amounts and most importantly, not having ANY diarrhea. In fact, when we tracked his dirty diapers, Solomon and Xander had the same number of dirty diapers in a day.. at the same times!
We are praising God for His mercy. It is so relieving to me to see Xander do well even though we are highly concerned about our wee one as well.
In a move of optimism we chose baby names tonight. In Bee tradition, we will not announce the name until we know the gender. BUT, we may find out sooner this pregnancy than any pregnancy before. I have a follow up ultrasound/peri/OB appt on March 12th and we may get a look at gender.
~Stephanie
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
No Regrets...
So an anonymous commenter asked me if I regretted announcing my pregnancy so early.
Short answer: No.
Long answer: Some people don't announce until after the 12th week of pregnancy. The supposed "safety mark" of pregnancy. I'm past that... so if I were to wait, when would you suggest I had waited?
I absolutely positively have zero regrets about announcing as early as we did. Every life is special and valuable and deserves to be celebrated. Some people celebrate for a long 9 months and then a lifetime. Some celebrate for a much shorter time but each life deserves to be celebrated... thoroughly.
We've cried tears of happiness upon the news that we were blessed with another life to love. We gasped in awe at the sweet little heartbeat fluttering on the screen at our first ultrasound. We laughed at our wiggleworm as the ultrasound tech struggled to get the measurements she needed for her reports. We have daydreamed ahead to having another little one toddling around our home.
We've also had a few restless nights here lately. We've uttered prayers for hours on end pleading for our baby to still be there the next time they check for a heartbeat. We've willed its little heart to continue beating.
But our joy isn't gone. I'm refusing to let the joy be snuffed out by the worries. So we celebrate. Each day we celebrate one more day with our sweet, tiny baby. We remain cautiously optimistic.
Tomorrow things can change. My appt is at 9:45am and I could walk out in tears after hearing terrible news.
And the Lord will still be good. He will still be sovereign. And we will still worship Him and praise Him.
But tonight, we thank Him, for one more day with our sweet child. I'm not borrowing trouble. I'm resting in the palm of His hand.
Are you celebrating the today? Or has the worry of tomorrow sucked the joy out of your today? Friends, none of us are promised tomorrow. And not a worry in the world adds a minute of time to our today.
I encourage you to celebrate today.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:34
~Stephanie
Short answer: No.
Long answer: Some people don't announce until after the 12th week of pregnancy. The supposed "safety mark" of pregnancy. I'm past that... so if I were to wait, when would you suggest I had waited?
I absolutely positively have zero regrets about announcing as early as we did. Every life is special and valuable and deserves to be celebrated. Some people celebrate for a long 9 months and then a lifetime. Some celebrate for a much shorter time but each life deserves to be celebrated... thoroughly.
We've cried tears of happiness upon the news that we were blessed with another life to love. We gasped in awe at the sweet little heartbeat fluttering on the screen at our first ultrasound. We laughed at our wiggleworm as the ultrasound tech struggled to get the measurements she needed for her reports. We have daydreamed ahead to having another little one toddling around our home.
We've also had a few restless nights here lately. We've uttered prayers for hours on end pleading for our baby to still be there the next time they check for a heartbeat. We've willed its little heart to continue beating.
But our joy isn't gone. I'm refusing to let the joy be snuffed out by the worries. So we celebrate. Each day we celebrate one more day with our sweet, tiny baby. We remain cautiously optimistic.
Tomorrow things can change. My appt is at 9:45am and I could walk out in tears after hearing terrible news.
And the Lord will still be good. He will still be sovereign. And we will still worship Him and praise Him.
But tonight, we thank Him, for one more day with our sweet child. I'm not borrowing trouble. I'm resting in the palm of His hand.
Are you celebrating the today? Or has the worry of tomorrow sucked the joy out of your today? Friends, none of us are promised tomorrow. And not a worry in the world adds a minute of time to our today.
I encourage you to celebrate today.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:34
~Stephanie
Home Sweet Home...
Tuesday morning the peri came and did another ultrasound. They found a subchorionic bleed (which is a bleed between the placenta and the uterine wall.)
Other than that everything looked great. Fluid was fine, cervix was great, baby was active and growing well and baby's heartrate was good.
I was sent home with orders to take it very easy-- basically modified bedrest. No lifting, pulling, cleaning, straining, pushing, walking long distances, etc, etc.
Things are still wait and see. We have another appointment on Thursday morning. In the meantime, we are praying protection for our baby and wisdom for our doctor.
Also, starting Friday I can start getting P17 shots once a week. This is to prevent preterm labor (that I've had with my other children.) These shots are very expensive, but having child born before 37 weeks qualifies me for them. We are also praying that there are no issues with getting the shots approved. I've been told that each shot is about $1500 a WEEK before insurance coverage. EEKS!!!
My aunt is back in Virginia (I'm making my case trying to get her to move here!) and helping with the children. Our friends and church family have been AMAZING as well. We feel very loved and blessed.
~Stephanie
Other than that everything looked great. Fluid was fine, cervix was great, baby was active and growing well and baby's heartrate was good.
I was sent home with orders to take it very easy-- basically modified bedrest. No lifting, pulling, cleaning, straining, pushing, walking long distances, etc, etc.
Things are still wait and see. We have another appointment on Thursday morning. In the meantime, we are praying protection for our baby and wisdom for our doctor.
Also, starting Friday I can start getting P17 shots once a week. This is to prevent preterm labor (that I've had with my other children.) These shots are very expensive, but having child born before 37 weeks qualifies me for them. We are also praying that there are no issues with getting the shots approved. I've been told that each shot is about $1500 a WEEK before insurance coverage. EEKS!!!
My aunt is back in Virginia (I'm making my case trying to get her to move here!) and helping with the children. Our friends and church family have been AMAZING as well. We feel very loved and blessed.
~Stephanie
Monday, February 27, 2012
Hospitalized...
Nope, not Xander.
His mama.
Early Sunday morning, I was sleeping and felt a "pop" and then felt wetness all around me.
I got up and went to the restroom and when I finally pryed my eyes open, there was blood everywhere.
I went back and looked in the bed, and sure enough I had been laying in a large puddle of blood.
I woke Brandon and headed back to the restroom.
He called our doctor's office and our doctor was on call. He said he'd meet me in the emergency room. Brandon and I changed clothes and then Brandon loaded the children in their pajamas into the van.
We rode to the hospital (25 minutes) in silence. I was begging God to please don't make us walk the road of loss again. Later I asked Brandon what he was thinking, and he said he was pleading for the same thing.
When I got the ER they were expecting me and I went straight back. Just a few minutes later my doctor was there.
So far we have no reason for the bleeding. The baby's heartrate was found and I'm not dialating. They did an ultrasound and I didn't have placenta previa or abruption. My amniotic sac was intact and baby had plenty of fluid and was moving. (After we found the heartbeat, my doctor was most concerned the pop I felt was my water breaking.)
My aunt arrived safely last evening and is at our house with the children.
I was admitted for observation for one night but the bleeding never completely stopped. It would lighten and stop shortly only to return later.
Early this morning, I had the worst episode of bleeding since I've been in the hospital. *sigh*
We have heard the baby's heart beat several times a day and so that is reassuring, even when it takes them awhile to find it.
Tomorrow the perinatalogist will be in with an ultrasound tech to do a full scan and check everything out really carefully. I've been told that this will take place around 8-9 am.
*Deep breath* This morning was a bit shocking for Brandon and I. We obviously know that bleeding in pregnancy isn't good and we also know that 14 weeks is too early for baby to survive without being safely tucked in my womb. But to hear the words threatened miscarriage and to be told that I'm basically waiting for the bleeding to stop or miscarry, sucked every breath out of my lungs and I had a long cry after I was told that. My doctor was not harsh with me or uncaring. I still greatly respect him. It was just very hard for us to be told that we are waiting on a miracle and that some pregnancies continue on with great outcomes and some end with bad outcomes. I mean, intellectually I know that, but no one really wants to talk about it, especially with their baby's life on the line.
Brandon has been amazing and so have our friends and church family. This morning Brandon reminded me that we know the One that can provide that miracle for us. We know Him intimately and deeply and He knows us too. He has carefully knit our baby together and loves him or her more than we do. As parents, it is really hard to imagine a love for our children bigger than our own. But God does! God has this ALL planned out. He knows exactly how many days our baby has.
We continue to intercede on our baby's behalf and hope for a long pregnancy, uneventful birth and a lifetime of memories.
~Stephanie
His mama.
Early Sunday morning, I was sleeping and felt a "pop" and then felt wetness all around me.
I got up and went to the restroom and when I finally pryed my eyes open, there was blood everywhere.
I went back and looked in the bed, and sure enough I had been laying in a large puddle of blood.
I woke Brandon and headed back to the restroom.
He called our doctor's office and our doctor was on call. He said he'd meet me in the emergency room. Brandon and I changed clothes and then Brandon loaded the children in their pajamas into the van.
We rode to the hospital (25 minutes) in silence. I was begging God to please don't make us walk the road of loss again. Later I asked Brandon what he was thinking, and he said he was pleading for the same thing.
When I got the ER they were expecting me and I went straight back. Just a few minutes later my doctor was there.
So far we have no reason for the bleeding. The baby's heartrate was found and I'm not dialating. They did an ultrasound and I didn't have placenta previa or abruption. My amniotic sac was intact and baby had plenty of fluid and was moving. (After we found the heartbeat, my doctor was most concerned the pop I felt was my water breaking.)
My aunt arrived safely last evening and is at our house with the children.
I was admitted for observation for one night but the bleeding never completely stopped. It would lighten and stop shortly only to return later.
Early this morning, I had the worst episode of bleeding since I've been in the hospital. *sigh*
We have heard the baby's heart beat several times a day and so that is reassuring, even when it takes them awhile to find it.
Tomorrow the perinatalogist will be in with an ultrasound tech to do a full scan and check everything out really carefully. I've been told that this will take place around 8-9 am.
*Deep breath* This morning was a bit shocking for Brandon and I. We obviously know that bleeding in pregnancy isn't good and we also know that 14 weeks is too early for baby to survive without being safely tucked in my womb. But to hear the words threatened miscarriage and to be told that I'm basically waiting for the bleeding to stop or miscarry, sucked every breath out of my lungs and I had a long cry after I was told that. My doctor was not harsh with me or uncaring. I still greatly respect him. It was just very hard for us to be told that we are waiting on a miracle and that some pregnancies continue on with great outcomes and some end with bad outcomes. I mean, intellectually I know that, but no one really wants to talk about it, especially with their baby's life on the line.
Brandon has been amazing and so have our friends and church family. This morning Brandon reminded me that we know the One that can provide that miracle for us. We know Him intimately and deeply and He knows us too. He has carefully knit our baby together and loves him or her more than we do. As parents, it is really hard to imagine a love for our children bigger than our own. But God does! God has this ALL planned out. He knows exactly how many days our baby has.
We continue to intercede on our baby's behalf and hope for a long pregnancy, uneventful birth and a lifetime of memories.
~Stephanie
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Bee #5
All was well at my appointment on Friday! Baby was very active and measuring larger than my dates. This is normal for me. My babies seem to grow ahead in the beginning, then slow down a bit at the end right before they come early. God knits babies perfectly.
My blood pressure was a bit elevated compared to my normal. It was still within normal range. I usually run a bit low and correct that with increased salt intake so I don't feel so weak. My OB is aware of the issues we are going through and will monitor my care.
I was excited to make plans with our doctor for the pregnancy. We are planning another VBAC and I went ahead and signed the papers acknowledging the "risks." My doctor laughed as I told him that a csection came with risks and so did walking in the parking lot to get to my van.
We will be doing one thing a little differently this pregnancy. I will be skipping the 1 hour gestational diabetes test this pregnancy. I always barely fail it and end up taking the 3 hour test. But I really despise drinking the nasty syrup so my doctor will allow me to skip the 1 hour (that I always fail anyway) and go straight to the 3 hour.
We were so relieved!
~Stephanie
My blood pressure was a bit elevated compared to my normal. It was still within normal range. I usually run a bit low and correct that with increased salt intake so I don't feel so weak. My OB is aware of the issues we are going through and will monitor my care.
I was excited to make plans with our doctor for the pregnancy. We are planning another VBAC and I went ahead and signed the papers acknowledging the "risks." My doctor laughed as I told him that a csection came with risks and so did walking in the parking lot to get to my van.
We will be doing one thing a little differently this pregnancy. I will be skipping the 1 hour gestational diabetes test this pregnancy. I always barely fail it and end up taking the 3 hour test. But I really despise drinking the nasty syrup so my doctor will allow me to skip the 1 hour (that I always fail anyway) and go straight to the 3 hour.
We were so relieved!
~Stephanie
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Gap
When I look in the picture in the header of my blog, I see something that most people don't. Of course I see four children, the youngest crying and the oldest trying to console him. I see two girls and two boys. I see that Xander is not the least bit interested in posing for pictures at all.
But I also see a gap in between Julianne and Xander, a baby that was in our lives that isn't in our day to day life anymore.
In December 2006, our Julianne was only 6 months old when I began to feel oddly. I took a pregnancy test and a line came up very quickly!
Brandon was in the livingroom playing video games with our friend, Chris. I called him into our master suite and showed him the test. He smiled and kissed me, I saw him puff out his chest a bit and he walked back into the livingroom where our guest was waiting for him.
And then my mind started racing. THREE? THREE children? Woah.. we said that we were "done" after Julianne! Julianne and the new baby would be 15 months apart. Much closer than the 39 month spacing between DeLainey and Julianne. How will I manage? What would people think? What would our families say? What if I had hyperemesis again? What if I am put on bedrest again?
Brandon didn't seem worried at all. He was thrilled. He was amazed that I was pregnant (while on the Birth Control Pill no less) after trying so hard and eventually using the fertility medication, Clomid, to conceive Julianne.
Slowly, I adjusted my thinking and embraced my pregnancy. Don't think for a second I didn't love my baby instantly- I did. I was just concerned about the logistics. I later lost that pregnancy immediately following my first doctor's appointment and ultrasound.
We were both devastated. Brandon says that the sound of me crying when they told me our baby was gone haunts him to this day and that he has never felt so helpless in his life. September 2007 came and went, without another baby joining our family.
Now, I am super thankful that Xander joined our family and then Solomon. But the pain of my miscarriage is still there and I still see The Gap.
Every September 19, I think of how we would be celebrating a birthday. This year, that baby would be three. No one really talks about our baby that died and that is probably the most difficult thing to deal with now. No one seems to remember or see The Gap but me.
~Steph
But I also see a gap in between Julianne and Xander, a baby that was in our lives that isn't in our day to day life anymore.
In December 2006, our Julianne was only 6 months old when I began to feel oddly. I took a pregnancy test and a line came up very quickly!
Brandon was in the livingroom playing video games with our friend, Chris. I called him into our master suite and showed him the test. He smiled and kissed me, I saw him puff out his chest a bit and he walked back into the livingroom where our guest was waiting for him.
And then my mind started racing. THREE? THREE children? Woah.. we said that we were "done" after Julianne! Julianne and the new baby would be 15 months apart. Much closer than the 39 month spacing between DeLainey and Julianne. How will I manage? What would people think? What would our families say? What if I had hyperemesis again? What if I am put on bedrest again?
Brandon didn't seem worried at all. He was thrilled. He was amazed that I was pregnant (while on the Birth Control Pill no less) after trying so hard and eventually using the fertility medication, Clomid, to conceive Julianne.
Slowly, I adjusted my thinking and embraced my pregnancy. Don't think for a second I didn't love my baby instantly- I did. I was just concerned about the logistics. I later lost that pregnancy immediately following my first doctor's appointment and ultrasound.
We were both devastated. Brandon says that the sound of me crying when they told me our baby was gone haunts him to this day and that he has never felt so helpless in his life. September 2007 came and went, without another baby joining our family.
Now, I am super thankful that Xander joined our family and then Solomon. But the pain of my miscarriage is still there and I still see The Gap.
Every September 19, I think of how we would be celebrating a birthday. This year, that baby would be three. No one really talks about our baby that died and that is probably the most difficult thing to deal with now. No one seems to remember or see The Gap but me.
~Steph
Monday, June 28, 2010
Hi Friends!
I've been gone for quite some time (It's been busy around here!) but I hope to catch you up soon.
For now I'll leave you with this:
We are so very blessed!
~Steph
For now I'll leave you with this:
Solomon Kincaid
May 31st, 2010 (36W5D)
2:14pm
6 lbs 15 oz
19 3/4 inches long
We are so very blessed!
~Steph
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
It's Tuesday
(Creative Title huh?)
It's also 6:05 am as I am starting to write this blog entry. I've not been to sleep yet and my husband's alarm clock is going off, letting him know that now is the time for all of us to wake up.
I have an OB appt at 8:00AM. Most people that know me, know I NEVER pick first thing in the morning appointments. I'm NOT a morning person and have never been one. I'm not sure I'll ever be one.
But I have to fast for this appointment and well.. I can't very well fast until 2pm or later (my usual appt time of choice) while pregnant... or rather, I can't fast safely while pregnant.
So.. I'm up, about to start my day, get the kids ready, make them breakfast ,while I abstain and then take them to a friend who has so graciously offered to watch my three at a crazy time in the morning, the day after she got married. Seriously folks.. that is friend LOVE!
Then we'll go to the doctor's appointment, I'll drink nasty overly sweetened syrup with no carbonation, have my ultrasound and then about an hour after the last drop of overly sweetened syrup is gone, I'll have bloodwork done.
And I'll do this all on no sleep. I've almost passed out TWICE doing this test for both of the girls and that was with a full nights rest. So pray for me.
Afterwards, my wonderful husband has promised me breakfast or lunch at the restaurant of my choice and we have a few errands to run but we'll have to make it quick because I have a breastfeeding support group meeting at 1pm.
After that, all bets are off for the rest of my day. I'm tired and cranky... and Solomon is using my bladder as a trampoline. But I hope to sneak a nap in at some point.
It's also 6:05 am as I am starting to write this blog entry. I've not been to sleep yet and my husband's alarm clock is going off, letting him know that now is the time for all of us to wake up.
I have an OB appt at 8:00AM. Most people that know me, know I NEVER pick first thing in the morning appointments. I'm NOT a morning person and have never been one. I'm not sure I'll ever be one.
But I have to fast for this appointment and well.. I can't very well fast until 2pm or later (my usual appt time of choice) while pregnant... or rather, I can't fast safely while pregnant.
So.. I'm up, about to start my day, get the kids ready, make them breakfast ,while I abstain and then take them to a friend who has so graciously offered to watch my three at a crazy time in the morning, the day after she got married. Seriously folks.. that is friend LOVE!
Then we'll go to the doctor's appointment, I'll drink nasty overly sweetened syrup with no carbonation, have my ultrasound and then about an hour after the last drop of overly sweetened syrup is gone, I'll have bloodwork done.
And I'll do this all on no sleep. I've almost passed out TWICE doing this test for both of the girls and that was with a full nights rest. So pray for me.
Afterwards, my wonderful husband has promised me breakfast or lunch at the restaurant of my choice and we have a few errands to run but we'll have to make it quick because I have a breastfeeding support group meeting at 1pm.
After that, all bets are off for the rest of my day. I'm tired and cranky... and Solomon is using my bladder as a trampoline. But I hope to sneak a nap in at some point.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I've been bitten....
....by the Spring Fever bug. The weather has been beautiful lately and it makes it hard to focus for more than about three seconds consecutively.
I was in so much pain (hips, legs, back, neck) that Brandon called around and spoke with several chiropractor offices and finally found one he felt comfortable sending his pregnant wife to. I had my first appointment yesterday.
Oh me, oh my.
I felt amazingly better by the time I left the office. I've neglected my chiropractic care since we moved here November 30, 2008! My hip and leg pain had gotten so bad that I couldn't roll over in bed without crying out in pain and it's been that bad for the entire pregnancy. Falling down the stairs with Xander in my arms had only irritated my back more. Last night was the first night I've been able to roll over in relative ease. There is still some pain, but it is a ton better. I have another appointment on Friday, so hopefully I'll be in tip top shape soon!
When I got home, though.. the fever had hit. I rarely leave the house on days that Brandon works since we are a one car (ahem van) family. But after driving to the chiropractor and back, I had a joy riding bug and an intense craving for Mexican food being eaten while sitting on a patio. We rushed to get out the door and load the kids up, but with Richmond traffic, by the time we got to the restaurant, the sun had gone down too much for a comfortable dinner on the patio.
After dinner, we drove around looking at some new to us neighborhoods. One thing is for sure, wherever and whenever we buy, Brandon will have a longer commute. I don't want a cookie cutter house on a tiny, steeply sloped yard with my neighbors right on top of us. So we'll have to leave the West End. It doesn't really bother me since we are now attending church and shopping south of the river. (Quick side note, when you are from Augusta, GA going "across the river" doesn't really bother you, you just do it without thought. Here people *gasp* because we attend church in another county and travel down the interstate and across the river to get there. You'd think it was *so far* away! In reality it's about a 20ish minute drive and we find better customer service out there.)
While we were out joyriding, Julianne loudly told her Daddy "We have to go home to watch American Yidol (Idol), it's boy night and Andrew Garcia is on!" Um... anyone else concerned that my 3 year old is OBSESSED with AI and Andrew Garcia? She can't name ONE of the female contestants "Mommy they really aren't *that* good this year!" but can name several of the male contestants. I have a feeling teenage years may be interesting with this one. ;)
Another funny story: Julianne was totally cracking us up after dinner and Brandon looks at me and says "Where did we get this kid?" Without missing a beat, Julianne announces "You got me from BJ's! I was FOUR DOLLARS, remember?" Dear child, we did NOT get you from BJ's (a warehouse store like Sam's or Costco.) God blessed my womb after several years of trying for you, baby girl. And since I was high risk, I saw several specialists weekly during my pregnancy and just ONE copay was more than $4. You are my most expensive child to date. ;) But you are SO loved and well worth all of the blood, sweat and tears we put into getting you safely here.
Dear Father, thank you for my children. They've each joined my life under different circumstances but in Your perfect timing. Thank you for the change in seasons, and the new green life I'm seeing outside. It makes my heart sing after a very long, rough winter. Thank you for the entertainment that each of my children provide.. and the awesome opportunity that you've given me to share the blessings you've given us. I love that you aren't a God of statistics. Statistically, the world says Brandon and I shouldn't be married still but we are. We are happy and pray for many more years together! Our diagnoses were supposed to make having ONE child difficult. And I'm now the blessed, thrilled mama of (almost) four here on Earth and two that are with you. Thank you for their personalities, Lord. They are all so very different and I'm sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting to see what you have planned for their lives. In the meantime, I'm thankful for arms that squeeze my neck for bear hugs, chubby hands that rest in mine, and sweet lips that give me kisses (even if they leave some slobbers behind) and all the funny stories...
~Steph
I was in so much pain (hips, legs, back, neck) that Brandon called around and spoke with several chiropractor offices and finally found one he felt comfortable sending his pregnant wife to. I had my first appointment yesterday.
Oh me, oh my.
I felt amazingly better by the time I left the office. I've neglected my chiropractic care since we moved here November 30, 2008! My hip and leg pain had gotten so bad that I couldn't roll over in bed without crying out in pain and it's been that bad for the entire pregnancy. Falling down the stairs with Xander in my arms had only irritated my back more. Last night was the first night I've been able to roll over in relative ease. There is still some pain, but it is a ton better. I have another appointment on Friday, so hopefully I'll be in tip top shape soon!
When I got home, though.. the fever had hit. I rarely leave the house on days that Brandon works since we are a one car (ahem van) family. But after driving to the chiropractor and back, I had a joy riding bug and an intense craving for Mexican food being eaten while sitting on a patio. We rushed to get out the door and load the kids up, but with Richmond traffic, by the time we got to the restaurant, the sun had gone down too much for a comfortable dinner on the patio.
After dinner, we drove around looking at some new to us neighborhoods. One thing is for sure, wherever and whenever we buy, Brandon will have a longer commute. I don't want a cookie cutter house on a tiny, steeply sloped yard with my neighbors right on top of us. So we'll have to leave the West End. It doesn't really bother me since we are now attending church and shopping south of the river. (Quick side note, when you are from Augusta, GA going "across the river" doesn't really bother you, you just do it without thought. Here people *gasp* because we attend church in another county and travel down the interstate and across the river to get there. You'd think it was *so far* away! In reality it's about a 20ish minute drive and we find better customer service out there.)
While we were out joyriding, Julianne loudly told her Daddy "We have to go home to watch American Yidol (Idol), it's boy night and Andrew Garcia is on!" Um... anyone else concerned that my 3 year old is OBSESSED with AI and Andrew Garcia? She can't name ONE of the female contestants "Mommy they really aren't *that* good this year!" but can name several of the male contestants. I have a feeling teenage years may be interesting with this one. ;)
Another funny story: Julianne was totally cracking us up after dinner and Brandon looks at me and says "Where did we get this kid?" Without missing a beat, Julianne announces "You got me from BJ's! I was FOUR DOLLARS, remember?" Dear child, we did NOT get you from BJ's (a warehouse store like Sam's or Costco.) God blessed my womb after several years of trying for you, baby girl. And since I was high risk, I saw several specialists weekly during my pregnancy and just ONE copay was more than $4. You are my most expensive child to date. ;) But you are SO loved and well worth all of the blood, sweat and tears we put into getting you safely here.
Dear Father, thank you for my children. They've each joined my life under different circumstances but in Your perfect timing. Thank you for the change in seasons, and the new green life I'm seeing outside. It makes my heart sing after a very long, rough winter. Thank you for the entertainment that each of my children provide.. and the awesome opportunity that you've given me to share the blessings you've given us. I love that you aren't a God of statistics. Statistically, the world says Brandon and I shouldn't be married still but we are. We are happy and pray for many more years together! Our diagnoses were supposed to make having ONE child difficult. And I'm now the blessed, thrilled mama of (almost) four here on Earth and two that are with you. Thank you for their personalities, Lord. They are all so very different and I'm sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting to see what you have planned for their lives. In the meantime, I'm thankful for arms that squeeze my neck for bear hugs, chubby hands that rest in mine, and sweet lips that give me kisses (even if they leave some slobbers behind) and all the funny stories...
~Steph
Thursday, February 11, 2010
A belly picture for the curious cats out there!
I've always been a curious cat.. and was told "Curiosity killed the cat" so many times that I could own a house debt free if I'd just been given a penny each time!
~Steph
Since it wasn't paying off, I became a smart alek and responded with "But satisfaction brought it back." Those of you who know me in real life, can certainly see me saying it back right? *blush*
Anywho... I've gotten a few messages asking for a belly pic... so I figured I'd put it here instead of embarrassing myself on Facebook.
Before scrolling down, keep in mind that I wasn't a tiny mama to start with.. and this is my 5th pregnancy... things happen a little faster each time. ;)
Here is January 12... I was 16 weeks ish (I can't remember and don't want to count backwards.)
And here is the most recent picture I've taken... January 29th. (Again I'm not counting backwards)
I'm 21 weeks 1 day as I post this.. so you can do the math. :0) Remember.. be kind!
~Steph
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
It's a....... BOY!
Brandon and I had a blast during our ultrasound watching our sweet baby on the screen. I nearly jumped off of the table when she said "Dad.. it's a boy!" I think I said something really dumb like "Let me see what that looks like! I've never seen a "turtle" only a "hamburger!" She laughed and then showed me what she saw.
Little Solomon however was NOT cooperating for all of the pictures they needed to get. He is breech (which is fine at this point and not something to worry about.) I had to go back after my doctors appointment so that they could try to get the picture they needed of his heart. We eventually got it.
So without bogging you down in words.. here is our little guy!
As I expected, Lainey was thrilled and Julianne burst into tears. She is feeling much better about the whole thing today and even sat with me and "talked" to Solomon for a long time. She is three and still learning how to react to disappointment and not having things her way. I know the disappointment won't last long and now she has til June to wrap her head around having TWO brothers! The teams are even... for now. ;)
~Steph
Little Solomon however was NOT cooperating for all of the pictures they needed to get. He is breech (which is fine at this point and not something to worry about.) I had to go back after my doctors appointment so that they could try to get the picture they needed of his heart. We eventually got it.
So without bogging you down in words.. here is our little guy!
As I expected, Lainey was thrilled and Julianne burst into tears. She is feeling much better about the whole thing today and even sat with me and "talked" to Solomon for a long time. She is three and still learning how to react to disappointment and not having things her way. I know the disappointment won't last long and now she has til June to wrap her head around having TWO brothers! The teams are even... for now. ;)
~Steph
Monday, February 1, 2010
Overheard in the Bee House...
I've heard some hilarious things lately and I really want to journal them before I forget them.
We were discussing our appointment for the ultrasound with the children... Lainey has been adamant that she wants another brother. She started praying for a brother after my miscarriage in early 2007. Then when we told her that we were going to start the process to adopt in 2009, she started praying for TWO brothers. When we found out that we matched with Xander, I told her there was a baby at the hospital for us and she asked immediately "What is my brother's name?" Oh childlike faith. Well she always takes the opportunity to tell me that she prayed for a brother and got Xander so SURELY God has heard her prayers for a second brother right?
Usually when she says this, Julianne gets huffy, crosses her arms and said "NO! I prayed for a SISTER!"
Someone will have a lesson about unanswered prayers tomorrow. *wink*
I guess DeLainey decided that she needed to start showing God some advantages of us being blessed with another baby boy... so the other night as I was walking by her bedroom door I heard "Dear God... please give momma a baby boy in her tummy... so she doesn't have to do so much hair before church." Thatta girl.. trying to plead your case yet remaining practical.
I've heard the following over the last few days..
"Dear God.. Please give my momma a baby boy in her tummy...."
- so that she can buy more shorts and pants. She is tired of buying so many dresses. (The girls only wear dresses these days so buying shorts and pants for Xander has definately been different. LOL)
- so that Xander will have a buddy to do yardwork with when we have a big yard. (Way to look ahead.. we live in an apartment right now LOL)
-so that we will have the same numbers. (She is very into "teams" right now.. and a boy would leave the boy team even with the girl team.)
- so Xander doesn't just have to throw a ball up in the air and catch it himself. He can actually play catch with someone. (I guess my little Tball player forgot that girls CAN play ball... and whatever happened to playing with daddy?)
- Because there are already two Daddy's girls.. and our Daddy only has two hands to hold and two legs for us to sit on. (Has she really seen Daddy's that have more than that? She makes Brandon seem incomplete or hindered. LOL)
We are very excited about our appointment tomorrow. I'm praying we see a healthy, wiggly baby. Once we see that I'll be happy to know the sex.... but having had a child that refused to show us at the big ultrasound appointment, my heart isn't set on it. I am thrilled to be pregnant and to be carrying yet another little person... and I love, love, love seeing the little baby on the screen! I know that we will ALL love the baby no matter what gender our little baby is! No matter who is been praying, it will be exactly what God has planned for us.
We were discussing our appointment for the ultrasound with the children... Lainey has been adamant that she wants another brother. She started praying for a brother after my miscarriage in early 2007. Then when we told her that we were going to start the process to adopt in 2009, she started praying for TWO brothers. When we found out that we matched with Xander, I told her there was a baby at the hospital for us and she asked immediately "What is my brother's name?" Oh childlike faith. Well she always takes the opportunity to tell me that she prayed for a brother and got Xander so SURELY God has heard her prayers for a second brother right?
Usually when she says this, Julianne gets huffy, crosses her arms and said "NO! I prayed for a SISTER!"
Someone will have a lesson about unanswered prayers tomorrow. *wink*
I guess DeLainey decided that she needed to start showing God some advantages of us being blessed with another baby boy... so the other night as I was walking by her bedroom door I heard "Dear God... please give momma a baby boy in her tummy... so she doesn't have to do so much hair before church." Thatta girl.. trying to plead your case yet remaining practical.
I've heard the following over the last few days..
"Dear God.. Please give my momma a baby boy in her tummy...."
- so that she can buy more shorts and pants. She is tired of buying so many dresses. (The girls only wear dresses these days so buying shorts and pants for Xander has definately been different. LOL)
- so that Xander will have a buddy to do yardwork with when we have a big yard. (Way to look ahead.. we live in an apartment right now LOL)
-so that we will have the same numbers. (She is very into "teams" right now.. and a boy would leave the boy team even with the girl team.)
- so Xander doesn't just have to throw a ball up in the air and catch it himself. He can actually play catch with someone. (I guess my little Tball player forgot that girls CAN play ball... and whatever happened to playing with daddy?)
- Because there are already two Daddy's girls.. and our Daddy only has two hands to hold and two legs for us to sit on. (Has she really seen Daddy's that have more than that? She makes Brandon seem incomplete or hindered. LOL)
We are very excited about our appointment tomorrow. I'm praying we see a healthy, wiggly baby. Once we see that I'll be happy to know the sex.... but having had a child that refused to show us at the big ultrasound appointment, my heart isn't set on it. I am thrilled to be pregnant and to be carrying yet another little person... and I love, love, love seeing the little baby on the screen! I know that we will ALL love the baby no matter what gender our little baby is! No matter who is been praying, it will be exactly what God has planned for us.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
It's been busy around here!
Well.. more busy than usual. *grin*
Brandon and I have always seemed to have a very fast paced life. So what we consider a "slow time" still receives comments from friends and family like "Don't you EVER slow down?" Oh and we got lots of "Number 2 will slow you down." And that was followed by "Number three will slow you down." Well.. now we are starting to get "Number 4 will slow you down." HA! I think each one adds a little bit more speed to our "busy." But we do slow down.. in our own way.
So let me catch you up.
1. I've been busy thinking about revamping our homeschool for the 2010-2011 school year. Our homeschool is an ever evolving process and I'm okay with that. After 20+ years of watching my mom change her thoughts and plans as a public school teacher, I see this as a normal and good thing and it doesn't freak me out. January starts what I call "Homeschool Season" with new catalogs arriving and conventions. I've been keeping a working document on my computer with my thoughts and what I'm looking for for each subject so that will help me decide. This next year will add the challenge of adding another "little" as I teach Lainey who will be in 2nd grade this coming fall. 3 littles, 1 student and 1 teacher/mom. Some days it feels frazzled but Lainey gave me the best compliment that I could ever receive as a homeschool mom. We were at a restaurant and someone asked her what grade she is in. She said 1st. Next they asked about her teacher.. do you like your teacher? She said "Oh she's great.. and she's my mom. We homeschool." This big blob of hormones had to fight back tears.
Sooo.. we are keeping Math-U-See. As a visual learner this is a definitely a plus in my book (and Lainey's.) She loves the video lesson that she watches once a week and loves playing with (ahem.. manipulating) the blocks as she does the work each day. Thumbs up!
For science and history/social studies we'll be using a unit study approach by Christian Cottage. Unit studies will be new for us but I love the way the curriculum is laid out and compared to other unit studies, this is a steal of a bargain!
Bible, phonics, reading and grammar are still up for discussion although the field is narrowing quickly. I'm also looking at more "fun" elective type things for Lainey to explore this coming school year. One of the huge advantages of homeschooling is that you can really tailor your child's learning to the way that they learn best and what they are passionate about or interested in. The flip side of that, is that the choices are numerous so you really have to pick and choose what works best for your family.
2. We are going to a convention! HEAV has their convention in Richmond in June.. but it is pushing it due date/delivery wise, especially if I follow my past pattern. I've not seen a due date yet without holding a baby in my arms (for successful pregnancies.) Walking a convention either hugely pregnant or newly delivered is not my idea of fun. So we branched out. We'll be attending the Midwest Homeschool Convention in April! It's in Cincinnati, Ohio which is exciting for Brandon and I since we've never been. Brandon actually has never been to a homeschooling convention and I only attended one day of the HEAV convention last year.
3. We are taking a detour to the Creation Museum the day before the convention starts. Brandon and I have wanted to go for quite some time and we are finally going to be near enough for a little detour. I can't wait to report back!
4. There is a tiny rumor that we are expecting snow on Friday and Saturday. Saturday is my new shopping day after being moved for Brandon's schedule. Normally that would not worry me but since we've been doing the Pantry Challenge, things were looking pretty bare. So we went shopping to replenish things.
5. Xander is highly mobile! We've had to put the Bee House on lockdown with babygates. Not only is now a speed crawler he is also pulling up on things and taking steps to reach for things. He also has a new found love for touching things that are not his. He is by far my youngest mobile child in the history of Bee children at 9 months old. For example: Lainey was barely pulling up and walking holding onto both of my hands at 13 months. We have a record breaker on our hands folks!
6. Lainey's 7th birthday is coming up and we've been busy preparing for that celebration. Since moving so far from family, we've greatly toned down birthdays. But they are still fun and she'll still feel special on her special day. I'm trying not to think about how much my first baby has grown and blossomed because I do not want to get mushy. I'm usually fighting back tears around 4:48pm on her birthday which is when my first princess made her appearance now almost 7 (goodness is that really right?) years ago.
7. I'm 19 weeks today! Given my above mentioned history of delivering early, I'm over halfway through this pregnancy! It seems to be flying by! Maybe the distraction of my three little blessings are helping that right along. I'm still feeling good. I do have some back pain but after three surgeries on it, I think I'm holding up okay. I'm still losing weight and don't have much appetite. My love for chicken has returned.. so that is nice! Every now and then I do experience nausea but it's nothing my little friend Zofran can't handle. Sleeping isn't going so well lately but I'm just dealing with it at this point. I'm craving protein A LOT and carbs just aren't doing it for this former carb junkie. Brandon is a little concerned about my lack of appetite and he doesn't think I'm eating enough. We'll see. My next appointment is February 2nd and hopefully we will see a beautiful, healthy baby and know the sex. I can't wait to announce the name we've chosen! This was the easiest name decision we've had so far, although actually finding names is quite difficult for us.
8. Speaking of craving protein, Brandon and I realized that Q Barbeque is here in Richmond! Brandon has been watching TLC's BBQ Pitmasters and I put two and two together when we saw the logo after my dentist appointment. So we stumbled in yesterday. And guess who was standing behind the counter? Tuffy Stone himself. He is a very nice, friendly, humble gentleman and he chatted it up with Brandon. Brandon asked if he could take a picture with the pit and Tuffy said sure.. and even took pictures with us! It was BY FAR the best BBQ I've ever had... although that may get me disowned by some of the in laws since I married into BBQ Royalty. Oh well.. I'm honest.. right? Oh and this Georgia girl approves their sweet tea and banana pudding! (It's very hard to find good tea here and the pudding tastes just like mine.. so maybe I'm a touch biased?)
9. The Church hunt is back on. We actually have a few candidates on our list. They are a bit of a drive (25 miles) but we are thirsty and hungry and NEED a church home!
10. Taxes are prepared but not filed. We are waiting on Xander's birthcertificate to arrive and then we can apply for a social security card. I'm SO excited and can't wait to call Dave Ramsey with our debt free scream! It's coming soon folks!
PS: I finally figured out how to hyperlink! Thanks Google!
Brandon and I have always seemed to have a very fast paced life. So what we consider a "slow time" still receives comments from friends and family like "Don't you EVER slow down?" Oh and we got lots of "Number 2 will slow you down." And that was followed by "Number three will slow you down." Well.. now we are starting to get "Number 4 will slow you down." HA! I think each one adds a little bit more speed to our "busy." But we do slow down.. in our own way.
So let me catch you up.
1. I've been busy thinking about revamping our homeschool for the 2010-2011 school year. Our homeschool is an ever evolving process and I'm okay with that. After 20+ years of watching my mom change her thoughts and plans as a public school teacher, I see this as a normal and good thing and it doesn't freak me out. January starts what I call "Homeschool Season" with new catalogs arriving and conventions. I've been keeping a working document on my computer with my thoughts and what I'm looking for for each subject so that will help me decide. This next year will add the challenge of adding another "little" as I teach Lainey who will be in 2nd grade this coming fall. 3 littles, 1 student and 1 teacher/mom. Some days it feels frazzled but Lainey gave me the best compliment that I could ever receive as a homeschool mom. We were at a restaurant and someone asked her what grade she is in. She said 1st. Next they asked about her teacher.. do you like your teacher? She said "Oh she's great.. and she's my mom. We homeschool." This big blob of hormones had to fight back tears.
Sooo.. we are keeping Math-U-See. As a visual learner this is a definitely a plus in my book (and Lainey's.) She loves the video lesson that she watches once a week and loves playing with (ahem.. manipulating) the blocks as she does the work each day. Thumbs up!
For science and history/social studies we'll be using a unit study approach by Christian Cottage. Unit studies will be new for us but I love the way the curriculum is laid out and compared to other unit studies, this is a steal of a bargain!
Bible, phonics, reading and grammar are still up for discussion although the field is narrowing quickly. I'm also looking at more "fun" elective type things for Lainey to explore this coming school year. One of the huge advantages of homeschooling is that you can really tailor your child's learning to the way that they learn best and what they are passionate about or interested in. The flip side of that, is that the choices are numerous so you really have to pick and choose what works best for your family.
2. We are going to a convention! HEAV has their convention in Richmond in June.. but it is pushing it due date/delivery wise, especially if I follow my past pattern. I've not seen a due date yet without holding a baby in my arms (for successful pregnancies.) Walking a convention either hugely pregnant or newly delivered is not my idea of fun. So we branched out. We'll be attending the Midwest Homeschool Convention in April! It's in Cincinnati, Ohio which is exciting for Brandon and I since we've never been. Brandon actually has never been to a homeschooling convention and I only attended one day of the HEAV convention last year.
3. We are taking a detour to the Creation Museum the day before the convention starts. Brandon and I have wanted to go for quite some time and we are finally going to be near enough for a little detour. I can't wait to report back!
4. There is a tiny rumor that we are expecting snow on Friday and Saturday. Saturday is my new shopping day after being moved for Brandon's schedule. Normally that would not worry me but since we've been doing the Pantry Challenge, things were looking pretty bare. So we went shopping to replenish things.
5. Xander is highly mobile! We've had to put the Bee House on lockdown with babygates. Not only is now a speed crawler he is also pulling up on things and taking steps to reach for things. He also has a new found love for touching things that are not his. He is by far my youngest mobile child in the history of Bee children at 9 months old. For example: Lainey was barely pulling up and walking holding onto both of my hands at 13 months. We have a record breaker on our hands folks!
6. Lainey's 7th birthday is coming up and we've been busy preparing for that celebration. Since moving so far from family, we've greatly toned down birthdays. But they are still fun and she'll still feel special on her special day. I'm trying not to think about how much my first baby has grown and blossomed because I do not want to get mushy. I'm usually fighting back tears around 4:48pm on her birthday which is when my first princess made her appearance now almost 7 (goodness is that really right?) years ago.
7. I'm 19 weeks today! Given my above mentioned history of delivering early, I'm over halfway through this pregnancy! It seems to be flying by! Maybe the distraction of my three little blessings are helping that right along. I'm still feeling good. I do have some back pain but after three surgeries on it, I think I'm holding up okay. I'm still losing weight and don't have much appetite. My love for chicken has returned.. so that is nice! Every now and then I do experience nausea but it's nothing my little friend Zofran can't handle. Sleeping isn't going so well lately but I'm just dealing with it at this point. I'm craving protein A LOT and carbs just aren't doing it for this former carb junkie. Brandon is a little concerned about my lack of appetite and he doesn't think I'm eating enough. We'll see. My next appointment is February 2nd and hopefully we will see a beautiful, healthy baby and know the sex. I can't wait to announce the name we've chosen! This was the easiest name decision we've had so far, although actually finding names is quite difficult for us.
8. Speaking of craving protein, Brandon and I realized that Q Barbeque is here in Richmond! Brandon has been watching TLC's BBQ Pitmasters and I put two and two together when we saw the logo after my dentist appointment. So we stumbled in yesterday. And guess who was standing behind the counter? Tuffy Stone himself. He is a very nice, friendly, humble gentleman and he chatted it up with Brandon. Brandon asked if he could take a picture with the pit and Tuffy said sure.. and even took pictures with us! It was BY FAR the best BBQ I've ever had... although that may get me disowned by some of the in laws since I married into BBQ Royalty. Oh well.. I'm honest.. right? Oh and this Georgia girl approves their sweet tea and banana pudding! (It's very hard to find good tea here and the pudding tastes just like mine.. so maybe I'm a touch biased?)
9. The Church hunt is back on. We actually have a few candidates on our list. They are a bit of a drive (25 miles) but we are thirsty and hungry and NEED a church home!
10. Taxes are prepared but not filed. We are waiting on Xander's birthcertificate to arrive and then we can apply for a social security card. I'm SO excited and can't wait to call Dave Ramsey with our debt free scream! It's coming soon folks!
PS: I finally figured out how to hyperlink! Thanks Google!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Vivid Dreams: The Orphan Books
I rarely have vivid dreams that I remember... I usually can only remember bits and pieces of a dream about once a week. Usually, it feels very jumbled and confusing since I can't remember the entire dream and make sense of it.
But last nights dream was very different. The last few weeks I've had very vivid dreams.
Last night I went to bed and my spirit just was not settled. I tossed and turned, watched a few shows on On Demand, prayed, got up and walked my usual routine (kids, doors, locks, stove), etc etc. Nothing seemed to settle my spirit.
The last time I looked at the clock it was 6:00 AM. I remember dozing off but not being in a good, deep sleep. I was still very aware of the whirring of my fan.
In my dream, Brandon and I walked up a long flight of stairs into a large building. The door had a metal sign that said "Orphans." We looked at each other, took a deep breath, and walked in the building holding hands.
When we entered it smelled musty... like an old library. It was very quiet and I whispered to Brandon and asked where we should start. He found a seat after taking down a large, heavy book that was leather bound. The pages were tattered when he opened the cover.
In the book, there were pictures of orphans from all over the world. All races were represented and the children were from 0-17. Underneath each picture their country of origin was listed. I discovered every book was like that after I pulled several books down that caught my eye.
We sat there for hours and poured over the books.. flipping pages, crying and smiling at the sweet smiles looking back at us. It was hard for me to look in the children's eyes. So many had eyes filled with sadness, hurt and fear even if they had a smile on their face.
Then an elderly lady with a tight, silver bun came over and told us that we had to pick and that our time was almost up. Brandon and I held our breath and looked up at her and I asked between sobs.. "How do you pick? How do you decide one is more 'worthy' than another? They are all children!" She looked over her reading glasses at me, shrugged and then walked away.
She was pushing a cart with a stack of books on it. The cart had a label that said "Too Late." I can only assume that the children in the books stacked on the cart had "aged out" and were no longer eligible for adoption.
I heard a bell start to chime and Brandon and I were frantically flipping through the pages... We just couldn't choose!
And then I woke up--with a tear stained face and pillow. I've felt odd all morning... and I can't figure out what my dream was supposed to mean. I do know that dream shook me to my core.. and I'm sure I'll never forget it.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Allergic Reaction times Two...
Tuesday when I went to the OB I showed him a hard knot in my under arm. Lumps, knots and cysts all frighten the bejeebers out of me and that fear only got worse when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer my junior year of high school. I had showed him the month before and he thought it was nothing.
This time Dr. S thought it was an infection because it was red and painful. I reminded him I was allergic to Penicillin and he sighed and asked about Keflex. I've taken it in the past with no issues even though about 15% of people that are allergic to Penicillin are also allergic to Keflex. He wrote me a prescription, gave me a referral to another doc in case it actually needs drained and sent me on my merry little way.
Key word from the above paragraph: PAST.
We filled the prescription and I took my first dose. No biggie. Wednesday I took three doses (one pill three times a day.) Thursday I took three doses again and a few hours after that last dose, I told Brandon I was very itchy and going to take a bath and go to bed. Brandon was headed up behind me and by the time he walked in the bathroom I was scratching like I'd be overtaken by a swarm of fire ants. Brandon said I had large red whelps all over me. I sent him downstairs to get the children's Benadryl since I knew I didn't have the adult variety in the house. I took the recommended adult dosage and got in a cool bath. Shortly after I got out of bath, the itching was gone and I was then Benadryl drunk and was fast asleep.
Friday we called my doctor and let him know that I showed an allergy to Keflex and he called me in another prescription. This time he prescribed a Z pack.
Again, I've showed no issues with taking Zpacks in the past. (Are you seeing a theme here?) Took my first dose of two pills the first night. I thought I felt a little itchy but I also thought I could be imagining things after my experience the night before.
Saturday I took my one pill with dinner and about 4 hours later, my legs felt like they were on fire and I was again itching to death. I had large red whelps on the back of my legs. Again, I took the adult dose of children's Benadryl and took a cool bath. Again I was Benadryl drunk and fast asleep....
So... right now I'm not on any antibiotics and I'll be calling the doctors office again, in the morning so he can decide what to do with me.
I'm a bit concerned that I'm now showing allergies to a major family of antibiotics and TWO frequently used alternatives. Have I mentioned I have no spleen so I NEED to be able to take antibiotics when they are necessary?
Oh and as a side note... my oldest daughter shows an adverse reaction to Benadryl and is allergic to peanuts and rocephin(also an antibiotic.) Brandon is allergic to the entire penicillin and sulfa drug families. Julianne and Xander have no known drug allergies at this time. I need a notebook to keep all this straight!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Battling Fear...
I have to actively battle fear. Deep down I'm a 'fraidy cat and it just seems to be getting worse the older I am. Maybe it is because I am starting to realize just how precious life is and how much I still have left to do here.
Satan has always chosen to attack my thoughts around my parenting, child raising, and my children. He knows that my children are my heart and well... a very vulnerable spot in my heart. The most recent subject he has started to attack is our decision on a repeat csection vs. VBAC (v*ginal birth after c-section.) I desire a VBAC and am a candidate. I birthed DeLainey v*ginally and had a planned c-section for Julianne because she had her cord wrapped around her neck among other issues. I also was seeing one of the most csection happy doctors in the area I lived in. (Word to the wise, check your doctors stats and if they are out of line with the national norm, start asking questions.)
Neither one of my birthing experiences were wonderful, magical or any of the other words I've heard used for childbirth. I had several rude medical professionals cross my path each time. I was stressed, nervous, in pain (yes for both!), and just well, not anything beautiful or magical or anything like that.
Recently I've been doubting if I can do either. Which is well, laughable because the baby has to come out one way or the other right? Yes.. after giving birth twice I still doubt I can do it.
And then I logged into my favorite parenting site ever and read what a dear friend posted. She said that a friend emailed it to her. What a timely message for me!
Would you please bless us with a liberal amount of Your wisdom for the decisions that are to be made?
Scriptures used: Ps. 127:3; Prov.31:28; Ps. 113:9; Ps. 127:3; Gen 1:26; Acts 17:28a; I Pet.5:7; II Cor.12:9; Eph. 6:11, 12,16; 2 Tim. 1:7; I John 4:18; Phil. 4:8; Ps. 91:2, 11; James1:5,6a; Phil. 4:7; Pro. 3:5,6
Each time the doubt creeps in, I pray this prayer. I've prayed it several times in a row at times. Either way.. repeat csection or VBAC, God already knows the outcome and has it planned.
Thank you Father, for giving me these precious words to hold onto. I pray I stand on the truths that You've sent for us in the Word. Thank you for the awesome blessing of motherhood and yet another baby to raise to know You.
Satan has always chosen to attack my thoughts around my parenting, child raising, and my children. He knows that my children are my heart and well... a very vulnerable spot in my heart. The most recent subject he has started to attack is our decision on a repeat csection vs. VBAC (v*ginal birth after c-section.) I desire a VBAC and am a candidate. I birthed DeLainey v*ginally and had a planned c-section for Julianne because she had her cord wrapped around her neck among other issues. I also was seeing one of the most csection happy doctors in the area I lived in. (Word to the wise, check your doctors stats and if they are out of line with the national norm, start asking questions.)
Neither one of my birthing experiences were wonderful, magical or any of the other words I've heard used for childbirth. I had several rude medical professionals cross my path each time. I was stressed, nervous, in pain (yes for both!), and just well, not anything beautiful or magical or anything like that.
Recently I've been doubting if I can do either. Which is well, laughable because the baby has to come out one way or the other right? Yes.. after giving birth twice I still doubt I can do it.
And then I logged into my favorite parenting site ever and read what a dear friend posted. She said that a friend emailed it to her. What a timely message for me!
Praying Scripture for my Unborn Child
"Father, in Jesus’ name, I thank You for my unborn child. I know this child is a gift from You.
I commit this child to You, Father and ask that he will grow and call me blessed.
You have made me a joyful mother of children. I am blessed with a heritage from You as my reward.
My child is created in Your image and it is in You that my child lives and moves and has his being. I ask Your blessing upon him or her.
Your grace is sufficient for me through this pregnancy. Thank you for strengthening my weakness.
I cast all my care and burden of this pregnancy over on You, Lord, for You care for me. I put on the whole armor of God so that I may be able to stand against the tricks and traps of the devil. I recognize that my fight is not with flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers and the rulers of darkness and spiritual wickedness in high places. God, help me to stand, above all, taking the shield of faith and being able to quench the attacks of the devil with Your mighty power. Help me to stand in faith during this pregnancy and birth, not giving any room to fear, but possessing power, love and a sound mind.
Perfect Love casts out fear. You are that perfect Love. I am not afraid because I am fixed and trusting upon You, Father. Help me to think on good things.
Heavenly Father, You are my refuge. I trust You during this pregnancy and childbirth. I thank You that You have put angels at watch over me and my unborn child.
Would you please bless us with a liberal amount of Your wisdom for the decisions that are to be made?
And may the peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep my heart and mind through Christ Jesus.
I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. When I acknowledge you in all my ways, You will direct my path.
I praise You and thank you, in Jesus’ name, Amen."
Scriptures used: Ps. 127:3; Prov.31:28; Ps. 113:9; Ps. 127:3; Gen 1:26; Acts 17:28a; I Pet.5:7; II Cor.12:9; Eph. 6:11, 12,16; 2 Tim. 1:7; I John 4:18; Phil. 4:8; Ps. 91:2, 11; James1:5,6a; Phil. 4:7; Pro. 3:5,6
Each time the doubt creeps in, I pray this prayer. I've prayed it several times in a row at times. Either way.. repeat csection or VBAC, God already knows the outcome and has it planned.
Thank you Father, for giving me these precious words to hold onto. I pray I stand on the truths that You've sent for us in the Word. Thank you for the awesome blessing of motherhood and yet another baby to raise to know You.
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