I've taken quite a bit of time to process my thoughts over the past few days.
Not only am I bogged down in my thoughts about Xander's upcoming appointments and procedures but Annalise's first birthday is coming up.
In a recent prayer/cryfest I said that all I desire is to is to be found faithful.
That is it!
No matter what this world throws at me... I desire to be found faithful.
No matter how hard life gets... I desire to be found faithful.
No matter how scary things look... I desire to be found faithful.
No matter what I'm asked to do or go... I desire to be found faithful.
Would I like a life without trials? I don't think so. Most of my faith building moments have come out of trials.
Am I begging for a trial? No. I think there will be enough in this world. No need to heap on more!
I have been reminded over and over by fellow believers that God hasn't left us. He loves Xander more than I do.. even though that is hard for me to fathom as his mama! No matter what the tests and procedures say, God is still good and faithful. He still is the Great I Am.
Of course, we are hoping with all of our might that this whole thing can be explained away without having to walk the Neurofibromatosis road. We are still praying for that.
But, if we are sent down this path.. all I desire is to be found faithful.
One day, when I'm called to Glory, I desire to be told, "Well done, good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:23)
Praying I'm Faithful,