Struggling with a lack of transparency...

I'm an all or nothing kind of person. And there are TWO major parts of my life that I can't openly blog about, so I struggle with sharing anything at all.

One I should be able to share soon but the other will take quite some time. Both items have kept me on my knees in prayer. Both have caused massive panic attacks and loss of sleep. Both have brought up painful experiences from my past.

I'm not who I once was. I'm stronger than I once was because I now call upon Jesus Christ in times of need and I lean upon Him for my strength. I will not disobey God even though I can't see what He is doing. It's scary for someone as uptight as me to not know what the outcomes will be. But I trust that God is good and loves me. And I know that He will never leave me.

(I'm sure this sounds like a bit of rambling without knowing the issues. As soon as I can share, I will. I just wanted to explain the sudden inactivity on my blog.)

I've turned off the news..

There is only so much sensationalized hype that I can watch. My flesh wants to watch it more and more... as if what the new anchor says is the end all, be all.

I quickly forget that there is One that truly knows what will happen in my future.

So instead of watching the news rehash things over and over that I can't control, I've turned them off and tuned them out. I'm looking instead at what God says about being anxious and provision.

Here is what God's Word says about provision:

"Do not worry then, saying, "What will we eat?' or "What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." -Matthew 6:31-33

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" - Matthew 7:11

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows." - Luke 12:7

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything; you may have an abundance for every good deed." -2 Corinthians 9:8

"And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19

"I have been young and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread." -Psalm 37:25

Verses about worry:

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?" - Matthew 6:25

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:34

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." -Philippians 4:6

"Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares about you." -1 Peter 5:7

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
-Isaiah 41:10

Father, I know there are very scared people out there right now. Give them comfort and peace. Let them find rest in You. I love You and praise You. In Your Son's most precious name, Amen.

~Steph

Remember that FSA card?

That I just talked about in my last post about my quirks? Well, I get to use it later today. I have an appointment at 9 am at the dentist because I broke/chipped a molar tonight. When I figured out it broke, I looked at the clock and it was exactly at 5pm on a Friday-- just my luck! I'm not thrilled. I had my teeth cleaned a few weeks ago and the hygienist nearly drowned me and I hurt for days. I've never had that hygienist and I've never had my teeth hurt like that.

Pray for me.. My anxiety is HORRIBLE at the dentist. But at least I'm not juggling the budget tonight to find the money to pay for it. (I still don't even know how much it is going to cost!)