Thursday, November 18, 2010

Searching for Annalise

I've been quiet on the blog... things have been very fast paced around here. I'm not complaining when I say that, I'm stating the well... obvious! And I love every single second of it. All I've ever wanted to be since I was a little girl was a wife and mother. I can't imagine my life without Brandon and each one of my special blessings.

The call to adopt again has gotten stronger and stronger in my heart. I've read until I can quote facts and statistics. I've researched until the wee hours of the morning when I can barely hold my eyes open any longer. I've looked over photolists for waiting children so much that I can tell when they change the order or someone disappears. I can pick out the faces of children that are placed on the list as new additions. I've looked at several special needs and researched resources here in the Richmond area. We have amazing resources here!

Some nights I get a handful of hours of sleep before I get up to tend to the children we already have in our home. Some nights I'm laying in bed with my eyes closed but I never drift off... I pray for our Annalise often... now we just have to find her.

My dream last night had me so disoriented when I woke up. I had to walk through the house to check on the children.

In the dream, Brandon and I were walking down a long hallway. We could hear a little girl calling for us "Mama... Daddy?" over and over. Sometimes her voice was very loud and other times it was very muffled. Brandon and I walked down this corridor trying to open doors. Some doors opened easily, but our Annalise wasn't behind the door. Some of the doors opened and revealed another corridor with more doors. Some doors were locked. Still Annalise called to us. And we became more frantic the longer she called. We started running down the hall checking doors while we called out "Annalise!!! Talk to Mama and Daddy! Hang on, we are coming!"

I started crying out to God to show us where she was and finally the right door opened but the light was so bright we couldn't see her. And then I woke up, shaking and disturbed.

Brandon and I will continue to cry out to God, asking Him to show us where we can find our Annalise. In the meantime, we continue to save and earmark funds to bring our girlie home.

We are coming,

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