It's that time of year...

When most people plan resolutions and fall off the wagon quickly. A few years ago, Brandon and I decided that we really aren't resolution kind of folks. We decided that each year in December and January we'd reminisce, dream and then make (or update) long term goals.

We also project the budget out another year on our spreadsheet so that we stay 2 years ahead. Of course things change, but we like to see when our projected finances meet with our future goals.

For example, with another addition we'll max out our vehicle, so we have a goal to save for our next vehicle so that we are able to pay for it in cash.

We are also getting around to thinking about buying a house so a house down payment of 20% plus closing costs is a long term goal too.

It's been interesting to watch our spreadsheets and goals change. We've had to majorly edit a few things.... like our family-growing plans. We were actively trying to add to our family in 2007 and 2008, but that didn't happen via adoption or birth. I never had on any list to move to Virginia. In 2009, we were matched with Xander much more quickly than we ever dreamed. And right as we were gearing up to adopt again.. Solomon made his presence known via morning sickness.

I chuckle when I think of how things have worked out. Sure, I thought I had it all planned out in such an ideal way, but when I look around me and then look at my lists... God has planned our lives far better than we ever hoped or dreamed. I still continue to hope and plan, but in a much more relaxed way than I once did.

If only I could go back and tell that Stephanie that things were going to work out and that things would be far greater than she ever imagined...

Searching for Annalise

I've been quiet on the blog... things have been very fast paced around here. I'm not complaining when I say that, I'm stating the well... obvious! And I love every single second of it. All I've ever wanted to be since I was a little girl was a wife and mother. I can't imagine my life without Brandon and each one of my special blessings.

The call to adopt again has gotten stronger and stronger in my heart. I've read until I can quote facts and statistics. I've researched until the wee hours of the morning when I can barely hold my eyes open any longer. I've looked over photolists for waiting children so much that I can tell when they change the order or someone disappears. I can pick out the faces of children that are placed on the list as new additions. I've looked at several special needs and researched resources here in the Richmond area. We have amazing resources here!

Some nights I get a handful of hours of sleep before I get up to tend to the children we already have in our home. Some nights I'm laying in bed with my eyes closed but I never drift off... I pray for our Annalise often... now we just have to find her.

My dream last night had me so disoriented when I woke up. I had to walk through the house to check on the children.

In the dream, Brandon and I were walking down a long hallway. We could hear a little girl calling for us "Mama... Daddy?" over and over. Sometimes her voice was very loud and other times it was very muffled. Brandon and I walked down this corridor trying to open doors. Some doors opened easily, but our Annalise wasn't behind the door. Some of the doors opened and revealed another corridor with more doors. Some doors were locked. Still Annalise called to us. And we became more frantic the longer she called. We started running down the hall checking doors while we called out "Annalise!!! Talk to Mama and Daddy! Hang on, we are coming!"

I started crying out to God to show us where she was and finally the right door opened but the light was so bright we couldn't see her. And then I woke up, shaking and disturbed.

Brandon and I will continue to cry out to God, asking Him to show us where we can find our Annalise. In the meantime, we continue to save and earmark funds to bring our girlie home.

We are coming,
~Steph

Another adoption dream... Ramblings

I had a dream two nights ago and it's left me feeling unsettled. I don't remember this one as vividly as my last one but it is still "very there."

I've been trying to figure out why I've been having the dreams since we are ineligible to adopt at this time. We have several factors that have made us ineligible right now. First, we were approved for two more children in this apartment (due to the space) and Xander and Solomon will fill those two slots. We are not eligible through our agency until Xander has been placed for a year (that will be the end of April) and I'll be very close to delivering Solomon then.

And yet.. I have adoption dreams often. They stay in the forefront of my mind as I go about my tasks for the day.

Guess we'll have to wait and see....

Ahh.... Dreaming...

After weeks and weeks of looking at snow (and being SO over it.) I decided to google for some warmer pictures to gaze at. I'm not sure if made myself feel any better. In fact, I'm pretty sure it just made me want to wish most of 2010 away to get to October... and our weeklong beach trip (which might need to be rebooked... but that is a story for another day!)



Here's my favorite: