You win some, you lose some.. but look at the growth!

A chapter of my life closed tonight unexpectedly. I'm no longer working from home. I was completely blindsided and it was very unexpected.

It's no secret that I've had a sharp tongue in the past. It comes from years and years of having sharp tongues modeled for me. It's a product of being quick-witted. Growing up, I was the queen of getting the last word.

But it's not who I desire to be.

Here's a little of what the Bible says about it:

A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. ~Proverbs 14:29

Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. ~Proverbs 16:32

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. ~Proverbs 12:18

He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. ~ Proverbs 21:23

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness ~Proverbs 31:26

I'm a work in progress. I'm not going to lie. There are times that my tongue (and flesh) wins. And oh boy... do I have to repent and then go right the wrong. But tonight, I handled myself with grace. All the Scriptures that I've poured over during my time of repenting, were running through my head as I formed my response. My time in the Word was fruitful.

I'm amazed at the growth. Still hurt and confused but amazed.

As far as the adoption... have no fear! When God called us to adopt again, He knew all this! And now we are on the edge of our seat, waiting to see the provision for our adoption unfold.

~Steph

It wasn't meant to be....

Last Thursday was not a great day at the Bee House. Brandon sent me a text message asking for prayers because he thought the announcement for the position he applied for was about to come out.

I prayed and had a very unsettled feeling. I tried to shake it off and keep praying. I knew how much Brandon wanted it. Who am I kidding? I knew how much I wanted it for Brandon.

And then a very long wait happened and my phone rang. I said hello and I knew from the pause and they way Brandon's voice cracked when he said my name that things didn't go the way we had hoped.

The tears started rolling down my hot cheeks and mentally I started down a really dangerous path.

What do you mean he didn't get it? He's worked so hard... He deserves it. Look at all we have sacrificed! We took a huge chance to come here! Brandon helped change the course that the office was going down and improve the stats. We were one of the first internal transfers! Look at all his accomplishments....

I comforted Brandon the best way I knew how. All I could say was, "I guess it wasn't meant to be, God has something else planned." I choked back tears while I was on the phone with him. I excused myself to go take a shower and cry it out. When the water ran cold I got out and dressed. I found myself on the couch, as numb inside as I felt outside.

That night before I drifted off to sleep, I felt very convicted about my thoughts. I started thinking about what we really deserve. As sinners, we deserve hell. But we are offered the gift of forgiveness by God! I'm so thankful for that!

So now we wait...again. We will both keep looking ahead and working, while we wait for God to show us what is next.

[This post has been edited. See the October 5th posting for more information.]

It's going to be a crazy week....

This is what our schedule looks like this week:

Monday- Homeschooling and Chiropractor visits for Brandon and I. (Brandon went and there was a sign saying they were closed. I guess we missed the announcement.) Prep chicken for potluck on Tuesday.

Tuesday- Homeschooling and potluck at Brandon's work that our family was invited to. It's a potluck for his team of employees. Solomon turns 3 months old!

Wednesday- Homeschooling, Chiropractor visits for Brandon and I, trip to the library to pick up books for the next two weeks and Brandon's office wide picnic-- families included.

Thursday- Homeschooling and dental appointment for me.

Friday- Solomon's weight check appointment, chiropractor visits for Brandon and I, drop off consignment and Brandon's SECOND interview! Exciting! It's at 12 noon if you'd like to join me in prayer. :)

Soooooooooooooooooooooo.... I shouldn't have scheduled our homeschool to start this week.

Live and learn.

Edited to add: Thursday we also potentially have either rain from the hurricane or rain and wind. So everything on our porch needs moved off, we need to make sure we have water and flashlights. EEEKS!

*SQUEAL!* and a hodge podge

I just got word that Brandon was asked to interview for The Position on Monday at noon!

**************SQUEAL!*****************

Okay... enough of that. In other news, I'm almost done with Lainey's work for the entire year! I did something different this year and I'm so excited to share it soon! *Yay!* *Wahhhhoooo!*

Doing the same thing for Julianne, is well.. going much slower! *Boooooooooo!*

Xander now waves in response to "Hi, Hello, Good Morning, Bye, Goodbye and Good night." Yes, I've tested them all. :) He's been a bit cranky the last few days and we aren't 100% sure why. I'm guessing it's a growth spurt or teeth.

Solomon has been awake more.. and hungrier and hungrier! I've had marathon nursing sessions lasting at least an hour for the last 2 days or so. Growing is such a bittersweet thing though. It is neat to see his personality come out. Those of you that have met Brandon in person, know that well.. his facial expressions tell everything. I often lean in and whisper "Fix your face" when we are in awkward situations (per his request.. of course!) You can read his face from a mile away! Well... guess which one of our children appear to have this characteristic? Yes, my sweet Solomon. He will definitely be an interesting character.

This is his, "Are you done yet, Daddy?" look...

Still no good news on the hives situation. Still hiving.. since February now! They are less intense than they were but they are still here. I'm starting to wonder if I'll have them the rest of my life? Seriously, I do not remember what it feels like to not have hives.

Yesterday I went to the dermatologist to have a four suspicious moles checked out and only had to have one removed. I'll spare you the picture of that! It was easy to have it removed and I seriously didn't feel a thing. Don't hesitate to have any moles that looked at if they are suspicious!

I hope all is going well in your camp!

~Steph

So, I'm still up to my elbows assembling our curricula for this coming school year. I'm piecing together different programs for Julianne and DeLainey, so the planning is all on me.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut....

I wanted to document something super exciting that is going on at the Bee House. A few months ago, Brandon applied for a position his company posted for their Kansas office. It would have been a promotion and it looked really promising. He interviewed but didn't get the position. He didn't even really get much feedback. They just said that he was a promising candidate. Hmpf.

After that, we moved into our new apartment and continued living our lives here in Richmond. We managed to make it through me being hospitalized for preterm labor without any family nearby. A dear friend, Nikki, stepped up and took the children to her house (on Mother's Day Weekend folks- she had SEVEN total children, 7 and under!) so that Brandon could be by my bedside to help me make decisions and advocate on my behalf and Solomon's too! I wasn't responding to the medications and the doctor at one point was preparing us to have a 33 weeker in the NICU. The day I was discharged, I was still on bedrest so my aunt drove up from Georgia and stayed with us until after Solomon was born.

I can't explain it, but after that "test" was passed, I started liking Richmond more. I'm sure hormones played a huge role in my homesickness. And let's face it, it has been a roller coaster ride since we've been here. Between getting things set up, transitioning Lainey to school, starting the adoption process, bringing Lainey home to homeschool, being matched to Xander, Xander's hospitalization and discharge, adjusting to life with three and then finding out that we were expecting.. it's been a WILD RIDE!

I'm still not 100% in love with Richmond, but it's growing on me. I know the exact moment that I realized that Richmond had grown on me. Brandon's company posted a position in another city (that shall remain nameless, but it's much more southern than Richmond) and we prayed and discussed it. I just did not have peace about moving. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I had a huge, huge knot in my stomach when I thought about leaving Richmond. Brandon had the same feeling. So he didn't even apply! At that very moment I realized that I do like Richmond!

Okay, so fast forward to last week. Brandon got a cryptic text message from a co-worker and immediately got on his work laptop. I knew something had to be up because he was on vacation!

He walked into the kitchen and told me that there would be an opening for the position above him.... and it was for his current office, so no relocation would be involved. I looked at him with wide eyes. This is only the second time this position has come open since we moved here in November of 2008!

The wait began. The position posted this past week. Brandon submitted his appliation yesterday after getting his supervisor's blessing. So now we wait to see what happens. I'm so proud of Brandon no matter what happens. He is an awesome, dedicated hardworker and truly loves his work. (And I'm not just saying that because he is my husband.. I once trained Brandon for a company we previously worked for and no.. we weren't romantically involved way back when either!)

If you feel led to lift us up in prayer, please do so. I'm trying not to drive him insane by asking him if he has heard anything each time we chat, so pray for that too!

I'll keep you posted!

~Steph

Disappointment...

Stinks. It's something I've struggled to control my reaction to for well... my entire life. I'm in a foul mood. Frustrated, annoyed, and disappointed. I'm just being real folks. I never want to portray that I have it all together, because I'm human and don't. I feel emotions, just like the next person. Of course I have the added benefit of having God in my life... but it doesn't make me perfect.. if anything my relationship with God magnifies just how imperfect I am.... and how much I need Him.

Once again... we are in waiting mode around the Bee House. Waiting to find out what exactly we are in Richmond to do. Do we have another child here? Is Brandon supposed to get his promotion here? Are we here waiting to go somewhere else?

I'm not a good "wait and see" kind of person. *sigh* Again, just being real. But God has definitely shut the door on our most recent attempt to transfer out of Richmond. Brandon was passed over for a promotion... again. I'm not quite sure what happened. He looked like a total shoe-in and was even told so. *sigh*

So we wait... Today I choose to trust that God has a plan for us. Not sure what it is, but I have to stand on the Truth today so I'll be repeating a verse that we've clung to for years...

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11