I got a call this morning asking for two more minor details. Our homestudy will be edited to reflect that and then we are D-O-N-E!
Our homestudy will be faxed to our other agency today... :)
And now the wait begins!
Showing posts with label homestudy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homestudy. Show all posts
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
God Knows...
I'm typing from our temporary diningroom table at 1:45am. (kind of long story)
I can't sleep. Despite the antihistimine cocktail I took earlier and a busy day.
I just have to laugh. It seems God takes the most type A people and calls them to adoption. You think you like things to go "just so"? SUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... walk down this path with unknowns. Unknown waiting times, unknown mounds of paperwork.. and do it with joy!
I was on the phone with a sweet friend last week and she said "Steph, my goal in life is to do everything with joy. If I can't do it with joy, then something has got to give."
Oh yeah.. and she told me this during a trial. I've heard her voice telling me that same quote over and over this week.
So as I wait for the word that our homestudy is approved... (should be *any* day now) I'm living with joy. I'm soaking up time with Solomon as our baby(est), Xander as an adventurous toddler, Julianne as an artist extraordinaire and Lainey as an bookworm. Brandon and I are spending lots of time together talking and playing games. I'm tying up loose ends on my To Do list.
And I'm dying to get our paperwork to our placing agency and see if we can match with a baby boy that I noticed several months ago on their website. And I thought surely he wouldn't still be listed when we were ready... But he is...
As Julianne would say "Mommy has ants in her pants!" :)
Yes, I do. But God knew that when He put the dream of adopting in my heart. He knew it before I was born. Before my little type A personality came out. He KNEW.
Cracks me up.
So tonight, I'm going to attempt to sleep before another day of clicking refresh on my email window at least 479237489157231758913759230582357235 times starts again-- hoping to see the glorious words APPROVED so I can call and have it faxed to our placing agency!!!
~Steph
I can't sleep. Despite the antihistimine cocktail I took earlier and a busy day.
I just have to laugh. It seems God takes the most type A people and calls them to adoption. You think you like things to go "just so"? SUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... walk down this path with unknowns. Unknown waiting times, unknown mounds of paperwork.. and do it with joy!
I was on the phone with a sweet friend last week and she said "Steph, my goal in life is to do everything with joy. If I can't do it with joy, then something has got to give."
Oh yeah.. and she told me this during a trial. I've heard her voice telling me that same quote over and over this week.
So as I wait for the word that our homestudy is approved... (should be *any* day now) I'm living with joy. I'm soaking up time with Solomon as our baby(est), Xander as an adventurous toddler, Julianne as an artist extraordinaire and Lainey as an bookworm. Brandon and I are spending lots of time together talking and playing games. I'm tying up loose ends on my To Do list.
And I'm dying to get our paperwork to our placing agency and see if we can match with a baby boy that I noticed several months ago on their website. And I thought surely he wouldn't still be listed when we were ready... But he is...
As Julianne would say "Mommy has ants in her pants!" :)
Yes, I do. But God knew that when He put the dream of adopting in my heart. He knew it before I was born. Before my little type A personality came out. He KNEW.
Cracks me up.
So tonight, I'm going to attempt to sleep before another day of clicking refresh on my email window at least 479237489157231758913759230582357235 times starts again-- hoping to see the glorious words APPROVED so I can call and have it faxed to our placing agency!!!
~Steph
Monday, June 13, 2011
Monday Musings
Just a little note about where I've been!
Last Thursday, I saw the first rough draft copy of our homestudy. I was thrilled to pieces! I marked it up and placed it in a folder with the medical forms for the boys. (New patient forms for the doctor x 2, 2 physical forms the doctor needed to sign for the homestudy.)
I laid out clothes for all of the children and myself for the next morning.
Friday, I got up eeeearly (6:45am.. craziness I tell you!) to get ready for the homeschool convention. I had a lovely chat at the Heart of Dakota booth and really feel confident about this school year. I was given the reassurance I needed and did some troubleshooting. I also got information on two music programs in the Richmond metro area. Still praying and thinking about those.
Brandon took the children to the doctor's office but there was a problem. I told him the wrong time! (Sorry BABY!) So he had to wait 40 minutes before they could be seen, with four children. Not the smoothest experience for sure!
He got the forms filled out, went by the agency to drop off the folder, and took the kids to get lunch and to pick up steaks for dinner.
I got home and helped finish up the last minute details before our company came. We enjoyed an evening with our friends, Dan and Amy, and their youngest child, Lydia. They were in town for the Homeschool Convention. Lydia is 1 month old and so cute and snuggly! Amy and Dan even shared some snuggle time with me!
Saturday, I was feeling rough. I wasn't sick, just very fatigued and I was reminded that I needed to slow down a bit. I held down the fort and started typing up a planner for Lainey's school this year.
Sunday we laid low. Brandon has a summer cold. (UGH! Can we get a break?) But I did have to go out to Walmart to get some groceries.
Today, I found a second rough draft in my email box! YIPPEE! It should be finalized this week! As soon as it is finalized we can send it to our placement agency!
Last Thursday, I saw the first rough draft copy of our homestudy. I was thrilled to pieces! I marked it up and placed it in a folder with the medical forms for the boys. (New patient forms for the doctor x 2, 2 physical forms the doctor needed to sign for the homestudy.)
I laid out clothes for all of the children and myself for the next morning.
Friday, I got up eeeearly (6:45am.. craziness I tell you!) to get ready for the homeschool convention. I had a lovely chat at the Heart of Dakota booth and really feel confident about this school year. I was given the reassurance I needed and did some troubleshooting. I also got information on two music programs in the Richmond metro area. Still praying and thinking about those.
Brandon took the children to the doctor's office but there was a problem. I told him the wrong time! (Sorry BABY!) So he had to wait 40 minutes before they could be seen, with four children. Not the smoothest experience for sure!
He got the forms filled out, went by the agency to drop off the folder, and took the kids to get lunch and to pick up steaks for dinner.
I got home and helped finish up the last minute details before our company came. We enjoyed an evening with our friends, Dan and Amy, and their youngest child, Lydia. They were in town for the Homeschool Convention. Lydia is 1 month old and so cute and snuggly! Amy and Dan even shared some snuggle time with me!
Saturday, I was feeling rough. I wasn't sick, just very fatigued and I was reminded that I needed to slow down a bit. I held down the fort and started typing up a planner for Lainey's school this year.
Sunday we laid low. Brandon has a summer cold. (UGH! Can we get a break?) But I did have to go out to Walmart to get some groceries.
Today, I found a second rough draft in my email box! YIPPEE! It should be finalized this week! As soon as it is finalized we can send it to our placement agency!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Homestudy Part 2: The Home Visit
So I shared how we couldn't go to the National Zoo and Lancaster for Memorial Day weekend. Shortly after we told the girls (and all three of us starting crying) I went into my bedroom and shut the door. I needed alone time. I needed to pray to the One that knows my inner most thoughts. I prayed and told him how disappointed I was. How much I hate to let people down. How frustrating it was to plan a great trip only to cancel. I cried. And as I walked into the master bathroom to splash some water on my face, it hit me. If we moved the money from our weekend getaway fund to our homestudy, we could move up our 2nd appointment and possibly get it done this week.
So I came into the livingroom and mentioned it to Brandon. He raised his eyebrows in a way that said "Oh really? I'm not sure that is possible." And I got started.
I first emailed our social worker. It was after the office closed on Thursday but I tried anyway. Then I tried to call her office. Her voicemail was not accepting new messages.
Friday I called back. I was told she was off for the holiday and wouldn't be back until Wednesday. (Wednesday was also the day I was trying to move our appointment to!) The receptionist asked if I'd like her voicemail. I told her it was full. She put me on hold and dialed it and then came back and told me it was working and asked me again if I wanted to leave a voicemail. I said sure and whataya know! It was full. *sigh*
Monday was the holiday.
Tuesday, I called again.. the voicemail was still not accepting messages. Tuesday was Solomon's birthday, the girls had their physicals done and that afternoon we had had our carpets cleaned. Things were a bit out of place due to moving as many things as we could off of the floor. In faith, we straightened up a bit.
Wednesday morning, we finally got through and we were able to make an appointment for 1:30! Totally God. I saw her appointment book at our previous appointment. After some last minute touches and filling out a form that was still needed, we were done at 1:33. She called at 1:35 thinking she wrote our apartment number down wrong (she was on the other side of the building.)
So our second meeting of our homestudy was completed. We also found out that the paper that got hung up in Georgia last time doesn't have to be done! All we have left is the remaining four physicals. Our references will be returning their forms as well. She is in the process of drafting our homestudy as she waits for these last few straggler forms.
~Stephanie
So I came into the livingroom and mentioned it to Brandon. He raised his eyebrows in a way that said "Oh really? I'm not sure that is possible." And I got started.
I first emailed our social worker. It was after the office closed on Thursday but I tried anyway. Then I tried to call her office. Her voicemail was not accepting new messages.
Friday I called back. I was told she was off for the holiday and wouldn't be back until Wednesday. (Wednesday was also the day I was trying to move our appointment to!) The receptionist asked if I'd like her voicemail. I told her it was full. She put me on hold and dialed it and then came back and told me it was working and asked me again if I wanted to leave a voicemail. I said sure and whataya know! It was full. *sigh*
Monday was the holiday.
Tuesday, I called again.. the voicemail was still not accepting messages. Tuesday was Solomon's birthday, the girls had their physicals done and that afternoon we had had our carpets cleaned. Things were a bit out of place due to moving as many things as we could off of the floor. In faith, we straightened up a bit.
Wednesday morning, we finally got through and we were able to make an appointment for 1:30! Totally God. I saw her appointment book at our previous appointment. After some last minute touches and filling out a form that was still needed, we were done at 1:33. She called at 1:35 thinking she wrote our apartment number down wrong (she was on the other side of the building.)
So our second meeting of our homestudy was completed. We also found out that the paper that got hung up in Georgia last time doesn't have to be done! All we have left is the remaining four physicals. Our references will be returning their forms as well. She is in the process of drafting our homestudy as she waits for these last few straggler forms.
~Stephanie
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
First Homestudy Appointment
Today we had our first homestudy appointment. It went smoothly and I had all of our paperwork that was requested. We still have to do our physicals. Oh and we signed a release of information for the agency to send off to Georgia to request our CPS registry check paperwork.
Afterwards, we went to the VA State Police office for fingerprinting. The picture (above) is the bottom half of my fingerprinting card. When I sent a picture to my aunt, she said "Have fun getting the ink off of your hands." I got to explain to her that it is all done electronically now. It looks like a photocopier that you put your fingers on and then another screen shows your fingerprints and says whether or not they are "acceptable." All of mine went smoothly except for 2 fingers that we did a few times.
Then they printed them onto my card and I went back into the lobby where Brandon was waiting. After a bit, they called Brandon to do his.
We went to pick up the children and then raced to Walmart to buy two $50 money orders to accompany our fingerprints for our VA background checks. Then we raced off to the adoption agency to turn them in so they can be mailed off. Our next appointment is June 8th and that is for the home visit portion of our homestudy.
Then we went to the post office (4 minutes before close!) and then the chiropractor.
After dinner, I filled out our application for the agency we are hoping to use for matching and placement.
PHEW! What a day! But it feels SO good to have everything going. Praying our paperwork comes back quickly!
~Stephanie
PS: Now I'm off to pack for the weekend!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Spinning Plates...
WOW! I've been walking in quicksand this week! Brandon had a special training he had to attend this week, so he changed shifts. This changed his days off and had him going into the office more than 3 days a week. I was reminded why I love his three day a week schedule. It is ROUGH. (And I've only done 3 of the days, two more to go!)
Tuesday I spent time trying to find a family doctor. We would like to see a family practice that can treat ALL of us. Several offices only see patients over 2. That means we can all be seen except Solomon. Since we've not had any luck finding a pediatrician that we can tolerate, that wasn't going to fly.
I got desperate and called a pediatrician an hour away that came highly recommended. She isn't taking new patients.
And then I remembered that my homeschool email group had recently discussed docs. I found the message about a dad of 6, family practitioner, and his kids are homeschooled. So I called.. and he treats patients from newborn on up. I made two new patient appointments for the girls. We ALL need physicals for the homestudy. I hope his office works out!
The rest of the day was spent filling out homestudy paperwork.. I have an exploding file folder of documents that I've collected so that the social worker can verify the things we've put on the forms. I still have lots of blanks to fill out but I've done a ton. The TO DO LIST is still growing on my white board though.
Tuesday, we will go to the DMV to get a 5 year driving record. Not sure what exactly I need but when I tried the website it was $8 to look at it... and I wasn't sure if I could print it from there or not, so we'll just go pull a number and camp out.
I need to buy some money orders for some of our fees (CPS registry check for VA.) I have some papers that need notarized. Brandon has to write his autobiography. I cheated and found my old one and just added the last 2 years to it. (Ahhh the joys of being organized!)
Wednesday is our homestudy appt and then fingerprinting at the Virginia State Police Office.
Tuesday I spent time trying to find a family doctor. We would like to see a family practice that can treat ALL of us. Several offices only see patients over 2. That means we can all be seen except Solomon. Since we've not had any luck finding a pediatrician that we can tolerate, that wasn't going to fly.
I got desperate and called a pediatrician an hour away that came highly recommended. She isn't taking new patients.
And then I remembered that my homeschool email group had recently discussed docs. I found the message about a dad of 6, family practitioner, and his kids are homeschooled. So I called.. and he treats patients from newborn on up. I made two new patient appointments for the girls. We ALL need physicals for the homestudy. I hope his office works out!
The rest of the day was spent filling out homestudy paperwork.. I have an exploding file folder of documents that I've collected so that the social worker can verify the things we've put on the forms. I still have lots of blanks to fill out but I've done a ton. The TO DO LIST is still growing on my white board though.
Tuesday, we will go to the DMV to get a 5 year driving record. Not sure what exactly I need but when I tried the website it was $8 to look at it... and I wasn't sure if I could print it from there or not, so we'll just go pull a number and camp out.
I need to buy some money orders for some of our fees (CPS registry check for VA.) I have some papers that need notarized. Brandon has to write his autobiography. I cheated and found my old one and just added the last 2 years to it. (Ahhh the joys of being organized!)
Wednesday is our homestudy appt and then fingerprinting at the Virginia State Police Office.
For DeLainey's adoption, I have to have a paper notarized with both of our signatures which means bringing The Bunch to the bank. Maybe I can bribe them with lollipops!
Homeschooling: We've been done with the 2nd grade curriculum for a few weeks. We started 3rd grade and kindergarten since we intend to school year round. The only thing Lainey has left for this year is her standardized testing which I'll order when I get a moment to breathe.
Side Job: An amazing side job fell into my lap a few weeks ago. I do my work at night after the children are sleeping/naptime/etc. It's amazing and it is where our adoption fund is coming from. I had a HUGE assignment and it's taken me about a week to finish it. But as of tonight it is DONE!
House: I've ALSO been bitten by the nesting bug. I've done the nursery, the linen closet, the kids' closet, and the basket in the foyer. The nesting will get more furious as the date of our home visit portion of the homestudy comes closer.
The Name Discussion: It's always hard here. Brandon always has some story about the little boy in 3rd grade that picked his nose that had that name, or whatever. It's tough. We were one of thousands of Brandons and Stephanies in the 80's so we like things a bit different. We went back and forth and FINALLY found names. Stay tuned!
Shopping: I've been looking at carseats. Julianne's is about to expire and Solomon needs to move up... especially if we are going to use the carseat for our new wee one. We also will max out the seats in our van with a new addition.
Diet: We've cleaned up our eating ALOT in the last few weeks. It all started when I stopped drinking Pepsi/Sweet Tea. It's getting a little redundant so I really should sit down and write out all the meals that we eat now and so I have a cheat sheet.
Maybe when some of the plates slow down.
~Stephanie
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Tiny Update...
Our first homestudy appointment is going to be on May 25th. Not exactly the day we hoped for but I'm hopeful that we can get our fingerprinting done after our appointment. Also, we only have to complete two visits for this homestudy instead of three like last time. The 1st appointment last time was really adoption education about the process and our options. We get to skip that this time.
This meeting will be our interviews. The next meeting will be our home visit.
You might have noticed that on the right side of my blog I've added a timeline. Last time it was a bit of a blur trying to remember when each step was completed.
I have a pile of paperwork in my email inbox to fill out and get completed for our appointment on Tuesday!
This meeting will be our interviews. The next meeting will be our home visit.
You might have noticed that on the right side of my blog I've added a timeline. Last time it was a bit of a blur trying to remember when each step was completed.
I have a pile of paperwork in my email inbox to fill out and get completed for our appointment on Tuesday!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Something I can be open about...
May 10th, we (as in all six of us) took an update to our adoption agency for Xander's birthmother. It included pictures from our studio session and just a general letter about Xander's birthday and our spring and Easter.
Our socialworker happened to be in, so the receptionist called down to her office and she met us in the lobby to pick up the pictures. While we were there, she asked if we were still wanting to adopt again. We said "YES!" Then we asked if we would have the agency's blessing to start another homestudy. She said "YES!" We clarified and reminded her that Solomon is not quite one yet.. she said it didn't matter.
WHAT? I know! I've said before on the blog here that we were told that our youngest had to be one in order to start another homestudy. I have no idea what changed (or when it changed) but after hearing we had her blessing we thanked God.
You see... MONTHS ago, I was cruising around some adoption sites I follow and a little baby boy's situation was posted. My heart flip flopped when I saw him. I told Brandon about him. And I've watched him sit there... week after week. Other babies have joined him on the page and then they were matched with their forever families so they were removed. He's still there. His information has been updated... and he still waits.
Brandon and I have been fervently praying for this little one. We pray that his family comes forward. That someone's heart is pricked to his situation. He does have special needs and it will take a special family. But do you know what his greatest need is? A FAMILY. Love. Someone in his corner. Someone who relentlessly advocates for him so he can reach his fullest potential.
I think about him often and pray for him everytime I do.
Are we that family?
I don't know. But I know this. If God has planned for us to be his family, when our homestudy is ready, he will still be waiting for us. Do I want him to have to wait? I don't want him to wait a single day longer than what it takes for his family to come forward.
Each night I pray, "God, if it is YOUR will for us to be his family..." with a lump in my throat.
We hope to get an appointment for May 24th when we call this Monday to start our homestudy. Our old homestudy agency is telling us that they think they could have our homestudy done in 6 weeks. A first meeting of May 24th would allow us to do some paperchasing on May 25th right before we go out of town. It will allow us time to go to the state police office for our fingerprinting and send other forms out. We have to do alot of the paperwork that we did for our first homestudy over again. Would you pray that date works out?
There are moments that I feel frantic to get this all done... But I know from our past adoption, that God has our child picked. He knows what gender our child will be. He knows that child's story. So I just walk a step at a time, faithfully following what He has called us to...
~Stephanie
PS: During our last adoption, we faced the strongest spiritual warfare we have ever experienced. Would you also pray a hedge of protection over our family as we start this process?
Our socialworker happened to be in, so the receptionist called down to her office and she met us in the lobby to pick up the pictures. While we were there, she asked if we were still wanting to adopt again. We said "YES!" Then we asked if we would have the agency's blessing to start another homestudy. She said "YES!" We clarified and reminded her that Solomon is not quite one yet.. she said it didn't matter.
WHAT? I know! I've said before on the blog here that we were told that our youngest had to be one in order to start another homestudy. I have no idea what changed (or when it changed) but after hearing we had her blessing we thanked God.
You see... MONTHS ago, I was cruising around some adoption sites I follow and a little baby boy's situation was posted. My heart flip flopped when I saw him. I told Brandon about him. And I've watched him sit there... week after week. Other babies have joined him on the page and then they were matched with their forever families so they were removed. He's still there. His information has been updated... and he still waits.
Brandon and I have been fervently praying for this little one. We pray that his family comes forward. That someone's heart is pricked to his situation. He does have special needs and it will take a special family. But do you know what his greatest need is? A FAMILY. Love. Someone in his corner. Someone who relentlessly advocates for him so he can reach his fullest potential.
I think about him often and pray for him everytime I do.
Are we that family?
I don't know. But I know this. If God has planned for us to be his family, when our homestudy is ready, he will still be waiting for us. Do I want him to have to wait? I don't want him to wait a single day longer than what it takes for his family to come forward.
Each night I pray, "God, if it is YOUR will for us to be his family..." with a lump in my throat.
We hope to get an appointment for May 24th when we call this Monday to start our homestudy. Our old homestudy agency is telling us that they think they could have our homestudy done in 6 weeks. A first meeting of May 24th would allow us to do some paperchasing on May 25th right before we go out of town. It will allow us time to go to the state police office for our fingerprinting and send other forms out. We have to do alot of the paperwork that we did for our first homestudy over again. Would you pray that date works out?
There are moments that I feel frantic to get this all done... But I know from our past adoption, that God has our child picked. He knows what gender our child will be. He knows that child's story. So I just walk a step at a time, faithfully following what He has called us to...
~Stephanie
PS: During our last adoption, we faced the strongest spiritual warfare we have ever experienced. Would you also pray a hedge of protection over our family as we start this process?
Thursday, September 2, 2010
A New Chapter
All adoption decisions are on hold right now. We continue to pray for guidance and pray for families that are currently on their journey to uniting with their children. Many of you know just how passionate we are about this and how strongly we desire to adopt again. My flesh wishes we could have started yesterday! But the rules say that we can't start another homestudy until January at the soonest. We are trusting Him and waiting. As much as it frustrates me, much of the adopting process is jumping through hoops and waiting.
In other news:
We may have finally found a church home. God is such a patient Father. He had to let us flounder in churches that WE thought we should be in and none of those worked.
There was one certain church that we kept passing... we looked online and they didn't match up with what we thought we needed or even wanted. This church is crazy small. The list of things they don't have that we thought we desired/needed is very long.
But we kept being drawn to this church. We surrendered... and went on Sunday. We were greeted by a very nice lady that helped us find our way (down ONE hallway. HA!) We were introduced to people that we had things in common with (SAHM, homeschooling, adopting, more than 2.5 children!) We were welcomed with open arms. Our three children that attended Sunday School/Nursery were well cared for and comfortable.
We were asked if we had prayer needs... We were included. We were not mocked, ignored or belittled. The sermon was biblically sound and unapologetic.
The peace in my heart is so very sweet right now. And I can't wait to meet more people, build relationships and finally have a regular place to worship and fellowship.
What I didn't expect was the tears that would come with closing the chapter to our old church. Yeah, I know, we've been here almost TWO years (can you believe it?!) But I had very special memories at my old church and very sweet friends. Brandon and I had unbelievable mentors and I had great memories of teaching a Sunday School class. Brandon and I met some incredible prayer warriors... who prayed us through a job loss, me going back to work and then coming back home, Lainey's public school issues, infertility diagnosis and failed treatments, our adoption and my most recent pregnancy!
It hit me like a ton of bricks on Monday morning, when I realized that we may have found a church that we can call "home." So the tears flowed. Everything made my eyes well up with tears on Monday. And it is with much sadness, that I realized that the friendships and memories will remain, but that Richmond is home. I've told myself a lie for almost 2 years. I told myself that this is a temporary assignment and that this will never be home. This was supposed to be short term... a stepping stone if you will. And as things line up, fall into place and become more clear, I realize that for now, this is home. I'm not sure if we will ever leave Richmond. And I'm not sure I would have ever agreed to come if I had known it was permanent. But, I certainly feel like God has more to show us about this place and about where He desires us to be.
And for the first time in a long time, I'm not dreading turning the page to see what is up ahead.
~Steph
In other news:
We may have finally found a church home. God is such a patient Father. He had to let us flounder in churches that WE thought we should be in and none of those worked.
There was one certain church that we kept passing... we looked online and they didn't match up with what we thought we needed or even wanted. This church is crazy small. The list of things they don't have that we thought we desired/needed is very long.
But we kept being drawn to this church. We surrendered... and went on Sunday. We were greeted by a very nice lady that helped us find our way (down ONE hallway. HA!) We were introduced to people that we had things in common with (SAHM, homeschooling, adopting, more than 2.5 children!) We were welcomed with open arms. Our three children that attended Sunday School/Nursery were well cared for and comfortable.
We were asked if we had prayer needs... We were included. We were not mocked, ignored or belittled. The sermon was biblically sound and unapologetic.
The peace in my heart is so very sweet right now. And I can't wait to meet more people, build relationships and finally have a regular place to worship and fellowship.
What I didn't expect was the tears that would come with closing the chapter to our old church. Yeah, I know, we've been here almost TWO years (can you believe it?!) But I had very special memories at my old church and very sweet friends. Brandon and I had unbelievable mentors and I had great memories of teaching a Sunday School class. Brandon and I met some incredible prayer warriors... who prayed us through a job loss, me going back to work and then coming back home, Lainey's public school issues, infertility diagnosis and failed treatments, our adoption and my most recent pregnancy!
It hit me like a ton of bricks on Monday morning, when I realized that we may have found a church that we can call "home." So the tears flowed. Everything made my eyes well up with tears on Monday. And it is with much sadness, that I realized that the friendships and memories will remain, but that Richmond is home. I've told myself a lie for almost 2 years. I told myself that this is a temporary assignment and that this will never be home. This was supposed to be short term... a stepping stone if you will. And as things line up, fall into place and become more clear, I realize that for now, this is home. I'm not sure if we will ever leave Richmond. And I'm not sure I would have ever agreed to come if I had known it was permanent. But, I certainly feel like God has more to show us about this place and about where He desires us to be.
And for the first time in a long time, I'm not dreading turning the page to see what is up ahead.
~Steph
Monday, April 19, 2010
So... What do You Have to do to Adopt Anyway?
First, I will preface this with a disclaimer that different types of adoption have different requirements. In addition, you may find that different states may have different requirements and you may even find differences between agencies.
But I'll be happy to share the path we took.
First, we planned on adopting from the United States. We weren't sure if we were going to adopt a waiting child/children from foster care or adopt an infant. Waiting children from foster care are children that have had their parent's rights terminated by the state for various reasons. Typically waiting children in the US are toddler age or above and may have special needs (emotional, physical, mental, educational, etc.) Sadly, it is harder to place sibling groups and minority children wait longer.
At the beginning of our journey, I called around to find out which agencies in my area are licensed to do homestudies, what their current wait times were looking like and how much they charged. I called several agencies and ended up going with the worker that was easiest to talk to on the phone. Sounds strange but that was our deciding factor after a lot of prayer. We set up our first appointment and had her mail us a packet so we could get started on the paperwork.
At our first meeting with our social worker, we went over the various types of adoption and discussed which adoption path we thought we were going to take. She went over the risks and benefits of each kind of adoption, as well as the price ranges, typical wait times, etc. She understood that we were open to children 0-8 years old, typical or special needs, any race, either gender. We went over the forms that we needed to fill out and the papers we needed to gather.
That very afternoon we started what is commonly referred to as The Paperchase. We gathered previous years tax forms, proof of health and life insurance, physicals for every family member, copies of paystubs, a budget form, a list of debts and assets, birth certificates, fingerprinting, a background check, a CPS case file check in all states we lived in during our adult life, my divorce decree, our marriage license, a plan for our children if we were to die, fill out a family history/social history form, provide names and addresses for referral letter requests to be sent, etc. We gathered them all before our next appointment.
We also each had to write an autobiography before our next appointment. This part was tough for me because I have a very strained relationship with my family and my childhood was less than stellar. But I wrote it honestly and answered the questions that were asked of me.
Paperchasing was easy for me. I'm a box checker. And conveniently they provided me with a checklist of forms to turn in. *grin* It gave me something to do and I could visably see our progress.
Our agency called our next appointment, the interviewing appointment. The social worker spoke with Brandon separately and then me. And then both of us together. I bawled through my interview and wondered if I was even able to do this, given my crazy family life. Our social worker was very nice and explained that they weren't looking for perfect people, they were looking for people that had a heart for children. And if the person had trials in their life they were looking to see that they were successfully coping and had a support system in place. That was reassuring. She also didn't hold my tears against me. :)
The last appointment was at our home. To be perfectly honest I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. At one point Brandon told me if I washed the floors on my hands and knees one more time I was going to scrub the finish off of them. *blush* I dusted, I organized the food in my cabinets by type and made sure all the labels were facing forward, I cleaned closets, we rearranged furniture, etc. I basically was a nesting nut. Turns out, none of that is needed she was looking for a safe place for children and adequate space. And yes, our social worker assured us that it was normal to be worried about it and clean ourselves into a frenzy. Based on our home size, we decided that our homestudy was going to say that we could accept placement of up to two children. We also talked about the neighborhood, the area activities that we participate in, etc.
The next part was the hardest for me. Waiting for all the paperwork to come back, the social worker to write it up and have her supervisor sign off. I remember getting the call telling us that our homestudy was complete and then she asked if she wanted her to mail it or if we wanted to come pick it up. I couldn't wait to see it, so I said I'd be there. I've never gotten shoes on 2 kids so fast before in my life.
It was kind of weird to read about our family. LOL But I saw the glorious words:
Approved to accept placement and adopt up to two children, 0-8 years old, either gender, any race, typical or special needs.
And then came what we thought was going to be REALLY hard part... waiting for a match and placement.....
But I'll be happy to share the path we took.
First, we planned on adopting from the United States. We weren't sure if we were going to adopt a waiting child/children from foster care or adopt an infant. Waiting children from foster care are children that have had their parent's rights terminated by the state for various reasons. Typically waiting children in the US are toddler age or above and may have special needs (emotional, physical, mental, educational, etc.) Sadly, it is harder to place sibling groups and minority children wait longer.
At the beginning of our journey, I called around to find out which agencies in my area are licensed to do homestudies, what their current wait times were looking like and how much they charged. I called several agencies and ended up going with the worker that was easiest to talk to on the phone. Sounds strange but that was our deciding factor after a lot of prayer. We set up our first appointment and had her mail us a packet so we could get started on the paperwork.
At our first meeting with our social worker, we went over the various types of adoption and discussed which adoption path we thought we were going to take. She went over the risks and benefits of each kind of adoption, as well as the price ranges, typical wait times, etc. She understood that we were open to children 0-8 years old, typical or special needs, any race, either gender. We went over the forms that we needed to fill out and the papers we needed to gather.
That very afternoon we started what is commonly referred to as The Paperchase. We gathered previous years tax forms, proof of health and life insurance, physicals for every family member, copies of paystubs, a budget form, a list of debts and assets, birth certificates, fingerprinting, a background check, a CPS case file check in all states we lived in during our adult life, my divorce decree, our marriage license, a plan for our children if we were to die, fill out a family history/social history form, provide names and addresses for referral letter requests to be sent, etc. We gathered them all before our next appointment.
We also each had to write an autobiography before our next appointment. This part was tough for me because I have a very strained relationship with my family and my childhood was less than stellar. But I wrote it honestly and answered the questions that were asked of me.
Paperchasing was easy for me. I'm a box checker. And conveniently they provided me with a checklist of forms to turn in. *grin* It gave me something to do and I could visably see our progress.
Our agency called our next appointment, the interviewing appointment. The social worker spoke with Brandon separately and then me. And then both of us together. I bawled through my interview and wondered if I was even able to do this, given my crazy family life. Our social worker was very nice and explained that they weren't looking for perfect people, they were looking for people that had a heart for children. And if the person had trials in their life they were looking to see that they were successfully coping and had a support system in place. That was reassuring. She also didn't hold my tears against me. :)
The last appointment was at our home. To be perfectly honest I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. At one point Brandon told me if I washed the floors on my hands and knees one more time I was going to scrub the finish off of them. *blush* I dusted, I organized the food in my cabinets by type and made sure all the labels were facing forward, I cleaned closets, we rearranged furniture, etc. I basically was a nesting nut. Turns out, none of that is needed she was looking for a safe place for children and adequate space. And yes, our social worker assured us that it was normal to be worried about it and clean ourselves into a frenzy. Based on our home size, we decided that our homestudy was going to say that we could accept placement of up to two children. We also talked about the neighborhood, the area activities that we participate in, etc.
The next part was the hardest for me. Waiting for all the paperwork to come back, the social worker to write it up and have her supervisor sign off. I remember getting the call telling us that our homestudy was complete and then she asked if she wanted her to mail it or if we wanted to come pick it up. I couldn't wait to see it, so I said I'd be there. I've never gotten shoes on 2 kids so fast before in my life.
It was kind of weird to read about our family. LOL But I saw the glorious words:
Approved to accept placement and adopt up to two children, 0-8 years old, either gender, any race, typical or special needs.
And then came what we thought was going to be REALLY hard part... waiting for a match and placement.....
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Our Crazy Life
We are on the go again... Go Go Go!
Brandon and I have prayed over moving to a larger apartment (if we are to stay here in Richmond, which is up for discussion right now.) We feel that we are being led to move to a bigger apartment, to spread out a little and set up some roots. We found a great one, one complex over. The apartment is 1667 sq feet. It's a good bit larger, has more storage space, bigger bedrooms and a room that can be used as a school/playroom (while still leaving us a livingroom and a diningroom.) Right now our diningroom serves as our school room part of the day, and our closet under the stairs is where we store our toys. It's tight but we've made it work.
Another plus to the new apartment is that there is a playground for the kids, a very nice swimming pool and a kiddie pool, a 24 hour fitness room to work out in, and the apartment is a FLAT! After THREE (yes.. really three!) back surgeries, stairs are not very nice to me anymore and it would be a much larger issue if I end up delivering via csection. Another plus is that since the space is much larger we could potentially be approved to adopt again.
On a side note.. wanna hear a crazy cool God story? In December, I went through a major nesting/decluttering spree. I literally went through every drawer, every paper, every closet and cleaned things out. But I never came across our homestudy. And it grieved me. It kept me up at night. I tore the apartment apart a second time and STILL couldn't find it. Having a homestudy done was part of Xander's story. Plus I didn't want to pay for ANOTHER copy so we could have it updated at a later date. Updates are much cheaper than original homestudies.
The other night after Brandon and I discussed the new apartment and prayed.. guess what I found? Our homestudy... in a manila file folder, on a bookshelf that I use... every.single.day. I had cleared that entire shelf before and it wasn't there. Could this be a sign of things to come? Did I find it now because now we might actually be able to do something about it? Only time will tell... but I'm excited to find out!
We are being let out of our current lease without penalty, which is HUGE and totally a God thing. So everything is all set up for us to move March 20th.. right before our big trip in April. LOL It's how our life works, ya know?
And we've been busy with other things too. Brandon started a new shift this past Monday, with a new set of employees so that is taking some adjusting. I've been battling it out with the Social Security Office here and plan to return in just a bit for round 2. I'm gonna win this... if anything I'm a persistent person that doesn't give up very easily.
I've been doing our semi-annual clearance rack searching so I can save oodles and still have clothes for everyone. (More on that later!) I'm also trying to use up food in the pantry and freezer so that we don't have so much to move, scheduling the transferring of utilities, continuing homeschooling, growing a baby and keeping up with the housework.
Oh yeah.. and we are starting to pack, so we can unpack, and repack for vacation. Fun times!
Brandon and I have prayed over moving to a larger apartment (if we are to stay here in Richmond, which is up for discussion right now.) We feel that we are being led to move to a bigger apartment, to spread out a little and set up some roots. We found a great one, one complex over. The apartment is 1667 sq feet. It's a good bit larger, has more storage space, bigger bedrooms and a room that can be used as a school/playroom (while still leaving us a livingroom and a diningroom.) Right now our diningroom serves as our school room part of the day, and our closet under the stairs is where we store our toys. It's tight but we've made it work.
Another plus to the new apartment is that there is a playground for the kids, a very nice swimming pool and a kiddie pool, a 24 hour fitness room to work out in, and the apartment is a FLAT! After THREE (yes.. really three!) back surgeries, stairs are not very nice to me anymore and it would be a much larger issue if I end up delivering via csection. Another plus is that since the space is much larger we could potentially be approved to adopt again.
On a side note.. wanna hear a crazy cool God story? In December, I went through a major nesting/decluttering spree. I literally went through every drawer, every paper, every closet and cleaned things out. But I never came across our homestudy. And it grieved me. It kept me up at night. I tore the apartment apart a second time and STILL couldn't find it. Having a homestudy done was part of Xander's story. Plus I didn't want to pay for ANOTHER copy so we could have it updated at a later date. Updates are much cheaper than original homestudies.
The other night after Brandon and I discussed the new apartment and prayed.. guess what I found? Our homestudy... in a manila file folder, on a bookshelf that I use... every.single.day. I had cleared that entire shelf before and it wasn't there. Could this be a sign of things to come? Did I find it now because now we might actually be able to do something about it? Only time will tell... but I'm excited to find out!
We are being let out of our current lease without penalty, which is HUGE and totally a God thing. So everything is all set up for us to move March 20th.. right before our big trip in April. LOL It's how our life works, ya know?
And we've been busy with other things too. Brandon started a new shift this past Monday, with a new set of employees so that is taking some adjusting. I've been battling it out with the Social Security Office here and plan to return in just a bit for round 2. I'm gonna win this... if anything I'm a persistent person that doesn't give up very easily.
I've been doing our semi-annual clearance rack searching so I can save oodles and still have clothes for everyone. (More on that later!) I'm also trying to use up food in the pantry and freezer so that we don't have so much to move, scheduling the transferring of utilities, continuing homeschooling, growing a baby and keeping up with the housework.
Oh yeah.. and we are starting to pack, so we can unpack, and repack for vacation. Fun times!
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