Sweet Peace...

(A quote we noticed immediately after walking in the K's home.)

I've been quiet on the blog because we were traveling to visit Annalise! :) Monday we drove halfway to Georgia to meet my aunt so we could pass off the kids. This prevented either of us from having to make the full drive.

Then we left bright and early on Tuesday morning and returned in the wee hours of Thursday morning. Then I took yesterday to process a bit and work on my ultra long to do list. Somethings just never change.

I've had several friends check in with me to see how I'm doing. The truth is that we really dreaded leaving our baby girl behind. There were a few moments that I had to blink back some small tears. But it wasn't nearly as horrible as I predicted.

Here is why:

We have incredible prayer warriors that have been praying for that very moment. The moment we would have to hand our baby girl back and walk away with an unknown return date. I specifically asked several of our friends to pray for that very moment. I even gave them the exact time that the transition should be occurring. It truly was a peace that passes all understanding!

Annalise's foster family is just jaw-droppingly amazing! I've tried to explain what I mean by that a few times and I never feel like I give my description the justice it deserves! Mama K and Daddy K ooze joy and their love for children and Christ! They welcomed us into their home with open arms, they patiently answered all 5 million questions we had for them, they've had incredible amounts of people praying for her from their congregation, they've hoped and prayed for a family to come forward for her... I just can't even begin to share all of the details that make them so incredibly special.

But I do have a few that I would like to take the opportunity to share.

• The K's have been fostering for 28 years.
  



• Annalise is their 76th foster child.




• They've adopted.
  



• Mr. K's parents were also foster parents.




• They are relentless advocates for children.
  



• Shortly after we sat on their couch they handed us Annalise. We did most of her care while we were with her.
  



• They invited us back in at 11pm to meet her night nurse.




• Mrs. K showed me a little scrapbook that she had put together of Annalise's 8 months of life. Precious.. sweet.. thoughtful... WOW!

As much as we want her home, we have no doubts that Annalise is being cared for in a loving way. The peace is amazing and it makes our wait much more bearable.

So much more to share,

~Steph

PS: Would you lift my friend, Susanna, up in prayer? She starts her travels today to go meet her Katerina! We had the opportunity to share a little bit of time together on Thursday.. but more on that later!

A Sigh of Relief... and a Few Details...

So the phone call came in that I was waiting for today. The adoption worker's voice was soothing and calm and that really helped my nerves. I did fumble a few of my words.. but well.. that is just me!

She asked a few questions that they felt weren't addressed in our homestudy. They included things like:

How do we plan to homeschool our oldest two and balance having five children.. three, 2 and under?

What activities are the girls involved in with their peers?

After that we went over the little one's health history and I got a few pieces of information about her birthparents.

When I got off of the phone with the adoption worker, I recieved an email with the release of information form for our homestudy agency. I quickly filled that out and sent it back.

We should know at the very least a little more late next week.

Shortly after I took care of that, I found myself chuckling as I wiped the counter. This has been a wild ride. If we are indeed matched with this little one, I'll be able to share more. Let's just say that God is SO in the details. I never imagined when we started thinking about adoption in 2007 that I'd ever be able to hand the whole thing over to God and simply say, "Your will be done."

But I have and I can't wait to see the rest of the "ride."

And so we wait....

and hope.

Doing the next thing...

Today we got a call from an agency we've been in contact with. The call came in a little after 8pm, which is well after I gave up hope of getting a phone call today. My hopes seem to rise and fall with each 8am and 5pm cycle. LOL

Anyway, we were told that we are one of three adoptive couples that are being presented for this adoption situation. That presentation will take place this week. I've seen pictures of this baby and he is adorable. (Aren't all babies?)

Meanwhile, another adoption agency has us in a pile to possibly be presented to another potential birthmother this week as well. I've not seen pictures of this baby but he is already born. I bet he is adorable too.

So, what's a girl to do?

N-E-S-T!

The fridge is cleaned out and the pantry is straightened. I purged some paperwork. Our laundry was complete until we put on pajamas tonight. I sorted through baby boy clothing. I played around with some travel arrangements. I started to think about what to pack. I made a grocery shopping list and a "To Finish" list.

Tomorrow we will go and get refills for prescriptions (they just happen to coincide with this), fill out paperwork for some reimbursements, and do a grocery shopping run. Then we will head to the pool to live life as a family of six. I'm not sure we are brave enough to take 5 children to the pool without any help.

We temper every hope with the fact that there is a chance we don't be picked. And this is why adoption nesting is different than pregnancy nesting. When you are pregnant you have a date to count down to-- a general idea of when baby will arrive. We don't have that.

But I ate a philly cheesesteak tonight.. just in case. You know... cravings. ;)

Would you pray for the birthparents as they make these life changing decisions? Pray that they are being supported by caring professionals and that they have peace with their decisions. Pray for the children as they are awaiting their placements. And pray for the adoptive families that are going to bed tonight, hoping.

~Steph

FAQ's Part 1

So the current count of adoption situations that we've sent our homestudy to is (drumroll please!)

3

We have only been homestudy approved since Friday. Networking has been going fast and furious. We haven't heard back on any of the situations. All three of the situations are for boys with special needs, ranging from 3 days old to 6 months old. All three have different special needs-- one is very similar to our Xander.

Our children do not know about them. It's taking sending text messages/emails/facebook chats and talking in code and whispering after they have gone to bed. I know how much I looked forward to events in my life as a child and I can't imagine burdening our children with an unknown timeframe at their young ages. We could wait years. They know we are praying for a new baby and that we started the process to adopt but they don't know much beyond that.

While God could call us to an international adoption, the original situation we were asked to re-consider doesn't appear to be for us. The country is very unstable and very, very expensive. There is some discussion over whether or not we are technically even eligible to adopt from said country. So we are going to pass. We have however sent a few inquiries in about other international programs. (I'm not sure I'm allowed to name countries so I'm taking the safe road.)

I'm going to start doing a little FAQ's section because we seem to be getting the same questions a lot. Here are the questions that I've gotten quite a bit in the past few days.

Will you have to travel and what will your Fab Four do? Where will they go? Or will they travel with you?

Have no fear, we didn't forget about the Fab Four! My aunt has graciously said that she will drive up from Georgia and is pretty much living on standby (just like we are!) My children LOVE her to death, playfully argue over who's she is (the correct answer is MAMA!) and she really has a grandmotherly role in their lives. You may remember that she was on standby when I was pregnant with Solomon and she came to help hold down the fort when I was put on bedrest. In fact, when Xander was still in the hospital and the girls weren't allowed in the nursery and Brandon had to travel for work, she met me half way to take the girls down to Georgia until Brandon got back in town. And the children went down so Brandon and I could have our Anniversary Getaway. She's fabulous! Everyone should have an Auntie Karon! We have a support system here in Richmond too.. so if for some crazy reason we have to leave before Auntie Karon can get all the way here, we have a few friends lined up to tide us over in a short term way.

How long will you be gone?

This really just depends. When you adopt out of state, there is paperwork that must be filed called the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC.) It is a contract between the states that controls the lawful movement of children for the purpose of adoption. (Thank you adoption.com- I was having trouble coming up with a concise definition!) Both states have to agree to it before we can leave whatever state our child is born in. It usually takes 7-10 days but the baby has to be discharged from the hospital before it can be started. Only one parent has to stay. Of course, Brandon and I would ideally like to stay together, but it is just another thing we have to play by ear. If our child is born here in Richmond, there would be no overnight travel away. We would spend time with the birthparents if they'd choose to want to spend time with us and we'd spend time getting to know the baby. Again, we'd have to play it by ear.

How do you decide what situations to send your homestudy to?

I briefly mentioned that I consider this the hardest part of adoption. And honestly, we don't have a "system" really. We look over the limited amount of information that we can see and we pray. A lot of very specific information is only shared with the adoptive parents after they match. At that point we could accept or reject the match. Brandon and I have researched a lot of special needs briefly, so sometimes we look deeper into the special need to refresh our memories. We have had a lot of lengthy discussions about what strengths we have as a family and as a couple as well as what resources are available here in Richmond. Part of our homestudy interviewing was to help us think through these things. We have passed over some situations, for instance, the first one this time.

This whole match process is kind of new to us. Sure, we matched and adopted before. During our first adoption, we sent our homestudy to four situations very quickly after we were approved. One we never heard back from. One the sibling set had matched right before our homestudy got there after we had a minor snafu on the paperwork being sent. And the third, we were told after we sent our homestudy that they were looking to keep the little girl in the immediate area (on the other side of the country.) The fourth time, we sent our homestudy in to try to match with a baby girl due in May and we got a call a few days later asking if we would consider a baby boy, who was one week old. That was our Xander! It was fast and simple. We prayed and obeyed and before we knew it we were matched.

I'm not expecting this process to go as quickly but I have no doubts that God can do it just that quickly again, if it is His will.

What preparations have you made for a new baby?

Babies in the Bee Household start out in Mama and Daddy's room. Part of it is because that is what we feel comfortable with. Part of our reason is because all of our children share rooms and it is easier for an adult to fall back asleep than a child. And in adoption, part of it is because we do everything we can to help bond us faster. Answering needs immediately is one way for your baby to bond to you better. We can answer more immediately, if the baby is closer to us. We haven't set up the baby's bed in our room yet. We have washed the carseats, rearranged the carseats, sorted clothes (both boys and girls clothing) and picked out first names. We have some middle names being tossed around, but for some reason we can't quite settle. I wonder if it is because the birthparents have names that they are going to ask us to use. Either way, we'll have a baby with a name and right now we are in no rush. Oh and I've nested like a crazy woman.. several times.

If you have any other questions, leave them in the comment section and I'll do another FAQ's post. We appreciate all of your prayers!

Speaking of prayers, we have an appointment at 10:15am for a second opinion for Lainey's feet. Would your pray for wisdom for the new (to us) doctor? Would you pray that Brandon and I make wise decisions while advocating for Lainey's best? And would you pray for Lainey's emotions/mental health as we walk down this road again? I'll fill you in when I get home and settled...

~Steph

PS: The spacing on blogger is driving me nuts. ;) Absolutely nuts!

A-P-P-R-O-V-E-D!!!

I got a call this morning asking for two more minor details. Our homestudy will be edited to reflect that and then we are D-O-N-E!

Our homestudy will be faxed to our other agency today... :)

And now the wait begins!

God Knows...

I'm typing from our temporary diningroom table at 1:45am. (kind of long story)

I can't sleep. Despite the antihistimine cocktail I took earlier and a busy day.

I just have to laugh. It seems God takes the most type A people and calls them to adoption. You think you like things to go "just so"? SUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... walk down this path with unknowns. Unknown waiting times, unknown mounds of paperwork.. and do it with joy!

I was on the phone with a sweet friend last week and she said "Steph, my goal in life is to do everything with joy. If I can't do it with joy, then something has got to give."

Oh yeah.. and she told me this during a trial. I've heard her voice telling me that same quote over and over this week.

So as I wait for the word that our homestudy is approved... (should be *any* day now) I'm living with joy. I'm soaking up time with Solomon as our baby(est), Xander as an adventurous toddler, Julianne as an artist extraordinaire and Lainey as an bookworm. Brandon and I are spending lots of time together talking and playing games. I'm tying up loose ends on my To Do list.

And I'm dying to get our paperwork to our placing agency and see if we can match with a baby boy that I noticed several months ago on their website. And I thought surely he wouldn't still be listed when we were ready... But he is...

As Julianne would say "Mommy has ants in her pants!" :)

Yes, I do. But God knew that when He put the dream of adopting in my heart. He knew it before I was born. Before my little type A personality came out. He KNEW.

Cracks me up.

So tonight, I'm going to attempt to sleep before another day of clicking refresh on my email window at least 479237489157231758913759230582357235 times starts again-- hoping to see the glorious words APPROVED so I can call and have it faxed to our placing agency!!!



~Steph

And now we wait..

I didn't realize until last night how much adrenaline I've been living on these past few weeks. It's been a flurry of paperwork and checkmarks and "doing the next thing." I stole that phrase from a mom of many, after a conversation we had when I felt overwhelmed with three children. She told me to just do what is next, to not look at my crazy lists, to not worry about tomorrow but just "do the next thing." I laugh now thinking that I was really overwhelmed with three. A little distance from something sure gives you perspective, huh?

Anyway, so yesterday we woke up and hauled four children into our doctors office. Brandon and I completed our physicals one right after the other. Then we stopped into the agency to drop off four of the six physical forms that are required. I also asked if my fingerprinting card had been found and was told that it had indeed been found. I danced right there in the office.

We ran a pile of errands and then we came home. I laid down on my bed for just a few minutes and the next thing I knew Brandon was waking me 2 hours later. When I woke up I thought back to the last few weeks, trying to figure out how I was that tired. Well, I've been working late into the night to complete our profile book. (I ordered it at 3:05 am on Tuesday.) Then waking up with the children. And I've been working on paperwork/making appointments/networking during the day too!

But it's all done. *I* don't have anything else to do. Brandon is taking the boys to their physical appointments on Friday while I go to the homeschool convention with some friends and then we are having company on Friday night. He's even promised to drop those forms off at the agency that afternoon. And then we wait. We wait for the reference forms to be received. We wait for the draft of our homestudy to be written for our proofing. We wait to receive our profile book in the mail. And then we start The Big Wait.

I'm so thankful that God gave me endurance for this busy season in our lives.

And I am so excited!! Excited to see WHO God has chosen for our family. In the meantime, I plan to read some books I checked out at the library, take lots of bubble baths and I plan to get to bed at a decent time. I also plan to enjoy my four children and to reconnect with Brandon. We will be trying to find some normalcy as we wait for the next whirlwind.

~Stephanie

PS: Check out the timeline on the right...I've been faithfully updating it!

The Hardest Part

For me, the hardest part of the adoption process isn't the homestudy. I'm a list maker and checker by nature. So seeing the list of documents/things that are required doesn't seem daunting. Sure I think some of the things we have to provide are a bit ridiculous, but the list itself doesn't feel daunting. I go through and gather things and check them off the list. I make the appointments and check those off of the list. Sometimes I skip something and come back to it. But it all eventually gets checked off.

The wait doesn't feel like the hardest part. Although let's face it, matching with Xander happened at record speed and we aren't officially waiting yet this time.

The hardest part is looking at the situations and deciding who to send our homestudy and profile to for matching purposes.

This past Thursday, I recieved an email about a possible adoption situation from our social worker. The little boy just turned 3. His picture was adorable. The email told a bit about a special need he had. I emailed the agency the child is listed with and asked for more information. And then I realized it was 4:48pm.

Being the highly impatient person I am and knowing that most agencies close at 5, I prayed and then called the office and asked to speak with the social worker. She answered a few questions and then sent me an email with more information.

I read over the notes. And my heart broke as I read each sentence. I googled, ALOT! This child has had a rough start, to put it mildly. I wrestled with the decision.

I spoke with Brandon and after prayer, we decided that this isn't a situation we feel comfortable with for many reasons. And my heart broke again.

We aren't looking for a perfect child. In fact, we've requested to be homestudy approved for a child with special needs. But this situation was just something that we don't feel qualified to handle even with the amazing resources available to us.

This is the hardest part. The saying no. I have no doubts that we will know when to say yes. The peace was amazing when I said yes (ahem.. before talking to Brandon!) to be presented for Xander's situation. (Yes, I did call him and make sure after I jumped the gun. Don't worry!)

Sometimes you think that you are a great fit for a situation and never to hear back. In 2009, Brandon and I sent our homestudy to two different social workers in two different states for two different situations and never heard back.

In the meantime, we pray and we remind ourselves that God has already chosen which child is ours.

~Steph

Homestudy Part 2: The Home Visit

So I shared how we couldn't go to the National Zoo and Lancaster for Memorial Day weekend. Shortly after we told the girls (and all three of us starting crying) I went into my bedroom and shut the door. I needed alone time. I needed to pray to the One that knows my inner most thoughts. I prayed and told him how disappointed I was. How much I hate to let people down. How frustrating it was to plan a great trip only to cancel. I cried. And as I walked into the master bathroom to splash some water on my face, it hit me. If we moved the money from our weekend getaway fund to our homestudy, we could move up our 2nd appointment and possibly get it done this week.

So I came into the livingroom and mentioned it to Brandon. He raised his eyebrows in a way that said "Oh really? I'm not sure that is possible." And I got started.

I first emailed our social worker. It was after the office closed on Thursday but I tried anyway. Then I tried to call her office. Her voicemail was not accepting new messages.

Friday I called back. I was told she was off for the holiday and wouldn't be back until Wednesday. (Wednesday was also the day I was trying to move our appointment to!) The receptionist asked if I'd like her voicemail. I told her it was full. She put me on hold and dialed it and then came back and told me it was working and asked me again if I wanted to leave a voicemail. I said sure and whataya know! It was full. *sigh*

Monday was the holiday.

Tuesday, I called again.. the voicemail was still not accepting messages. Tuesday was Solomon's birthday, the girls had their physicals done and that afternoon we had had our carpets cleaned. Things were a bit out of place due to moving as many things as we could off of the floor. In faith, we straightened up a bit.

Wednesday morning, we finally got through and we were able to make an appointment for 1:30! Totally God. I saw her appointment book at our previous appointment. After some last minute touches and filling out a form that was still needed, we were done at 1:33. She called at 1:35 thinking she wrote our apartment number down wrong (she was on the other side of the building.)

So our second meeting of our homestudy was completed. We also found out that the paper that got hung up in Georgia last time doesn't have to be done! All we have left is the remaining four physicals. Our references will be returning their forms as well. She is in the process of drafting our homestudy as she waits for these last few straggler forms.

~Stephanie

First Homestudy Appointment

Today we had our first homestudy appointment. It went smoothly and I had all of our paperwork that was requested. We still have to do our physicals. Oh and we signed a release of information for the agency to send off to Georgia to request our CPS registry check paperwork.

Afterwards, we went to the VA State Police office for fingerprinting. The picture (above) is the bottom half of my fingerprinting card. When I sent a picture to my aunt, she said "Have fun getting the ink off of your hands." I got to explain to her that it is all done electronically now. It looks like a photocopier that you put your fingers on and then another screen shows your fingerprints and says whether or not they are "acceptable." All of mine went smoothly except for 2 fingers that we did a few times.

Then they printed them onto my card and I went back into the lobby where Brandon was waiting. After a bit, they called Brandon to do his.

We went to pick up the children and then raced to Walmart to buy two $50 money orders to accompany our fingerprints for our VA background checks. Then we raced off to the adoption agency to turn them in so they can be mailed off. Our next appointment is June 8th and that is for the home visit portion of our homestudy.

Then we went to the post office (4 minutes before close!) and then the chiropractor.

After dinner, I filled out our application for the agency we are hoping to use for matching and placement.

PHEW! What a day! But it feels SO good to have everything going. Praying our paperwork comes back quickly!

~Stephanie

PS: Now I'm off to pack for the weekend!

A Tiny Update...

Our first homestudy appointment is going to be on May 25th. Not exactly the day we hoped for but I'm hopeful that we can get our fingerprinting done after our appointment. Also, we only have to complete two visits for this homestudy instead of three like last time. The 1st appointment last time was really adoption education about the process and our options. We get to skip that this time.

This meeting will be our interviews. The next meeting will be our home visit.

You might have noticed that on the right side of my blog I've added a timeline. Last time it was a bit of a blur trying to remember when each step was completed.

I have a pile of paperwork in my email inbox to fill out and get completed for our appointment on Tuesday!

Something I can be open about...

May 10th, we (as in all six of us) took an update to our adoption agency for Xander's birthmother. It included pictures from our studio session and just a general letter about Xander's birthday and our spring and Easter.

Our socialworker happened to be in, so the receptionist called down to her office and she met us in the lobby to pick up the pictures. While we were there, she asked if we were still wanting to adopt again. We said "YES!" Then we asked if we would have the agency's blessing to start another homestudy. She said "YES!" We clarified and reminded her that Solomon is not quite one yet.. she said it didn't matter.

WHAT? I know! I've said before on the blog here that we were told that our youngest had to be one in order to start another homestudy. I have no idea what changed (or when it changed) but after hearing we had her blessing we thanked God.

You see... MONTHS ago, I was cruising around some adoption sites I follow and a little baby boy's situation was posted. My heart flip flopped when I saw him. I told Brandon about him. And I've watched him sit there... week after week. Other babies have joined him on the page and then they were matched with their forever families so they were removed. He's still there. His information has been updated... and he still waits.

Brandon and I have been fervently praying for this little one. We pray that his family comes forward. That someone's heart is pricked to his situation. He does have special needs and it will take a special family. But do you know what his greatest need is? A FAMILY. Love. Someone in his corner. Someone who relentlessly advocates for him so he can reach his fullest potential.

I think about him often and pray for him everytime I do.

Are we that family?

I don't know. But I know this. If God has planned for us to be his family, when our homestudy is ready, he will still be waiting for us. Do I want him to have to wait? I don't want him to wait a single day longer than what it takes for his family to come forward.

Each night I pray, "God, if it is YOUR will for us to be his family..." with a lump in my throat.

We hope to get an appointment for May 24th when we call this Monday to start our homestudy. Our old homestudy agency is telling us that they think they could have our homestudy done in 6 weeks. A first meeting of May 24th would allow us to do some paperchasing on May 25th right before we go out of town. It will allow us time to go to the state police office for our fingerprinting and send other forms out. We have to do alot of the paperwork that we did for our first homestudy over again. Would you pray that date works out?

There are moments that I feel frantic to get this all done... But I know from our past adoption, that God has our child picked. He knows what gender our child will be. He knows that child's story. So I just walk a step at a time, faithfully following what He has called us to...

~Stephanie

PS: During our last adoption, we faced the strongest spiritual warfare we have ever experienced. Would you also pray a hedge of protection over our family as we start this process?

Looking for Fundraising Ideas...

Brandon and I have been discussing adding a #5 to the Bee Family! We were actually getting ready to update our homestudy to add #4 last October when I found out I was expecting. So little Solomon snuck in and became our fourth.

It looks like we can start the process again when Solomon is 6 months old. Hopefully, we'll be able to confirm that this week.

In the meantime, I'm looking for fundraising ideas. Any thoughts or suggestions?

A few ideas that we've come up with include using our tax return. Also, if Brandon does indeed get this promotion, we'd save his raise each paycheck. And we already save all our change and don't spend it...

I hope to have more information soon and be able to make an official announcement then.

~Steph

PS: Brandon's interview is at 12 noon tomorrow!

So... What do You Have to do to Adopt Anyway?

First, I will preface this with a disclaimer that different types of adoption have different requirements. In addition, you may find that different states may have different requirements and you may even find differences between agencies.

But I'll be happy to share the path we took.

First, we planned on adopting from the United States. We weren't sure if we were going to adopt a waiting child/children from foster care or adopt an infant. Waiting children from foster care are children that have had their parent's rights terminated by the state for various reasons. Typically waiting children in the US are toddler age or above and may have special needs (emotional, physical, mental, educational, etc.) Sadly, it is harder to place sibling groups and minority children wait longer.

At the beginning of our journey, I called around to find out which agencies in my area are licensed to do homestudies, what their current wait times were looking like and how much they charged. I called several agencies and ended up going with the worker that was easiest to talk to on the phone. Sounds strange but that was our deciding factor after a lot of prayer. We set up our first appointment and had her mail us a packet so we could get started on the paperwork.

At our first meeting with our social worker, we went over the various types of adoption and discussed which adoption path we thought we were going to take. She went over the risks and benefits of each kind of adoption, as well as the price ranges, typical wait times, etc. She understood that we were open to children 0-8 years old, typical or special needs, any race, either gender. We went over the forms that we needed to fill out and the papers we needed to gather.

That very afternoon we started what is commonly referred to as The Paperchase. We gathered previous years tax forms, proof of health and life insurance, physicals for every family member, copies of paystubs, a budget form, a list of debts and assets, birth certificates, fingerprinting, a background check, a CPS case file check in all states we lived in during our adult life, my divorce decree, our marriage license, a plan for our children if we were to die, fill out a family history/social history form, provide names and addresses for referral letter requests to be sent, etc. We gathered them all before our next appointment.

We also each had to write an autobiography before our next appointment. This part was tough for me because I have a very strained relationship with my family and my childhood was less than stellar. But I wrote it honestly and answered the questions that were asked of me.

Paperchasing was easy for me. I'm a box checker. And conveniently they provided me with a checklist of forms to turn in. *grin* It gave me something to do and I could visably see our progress.

Our agency called our next appointment, the interviewing appointment. The social worker spoke with Brandon separately and then me. And then both of us together. I bawled through my interview and wondered if I was even able to do this, given my crazy family life. Our social worker was very nice and explained that they weren't looking for perfect people, they were looking for people that had a heart for children. And if the person had trials in their life they were looking to see that they were successfully coping and had a support system in place. That was reassuring. She also didn't hold my tears against me. :)

The last appointment was at our home. To be perfectly honest I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. At one point Brandon told me if I washed the floors on my hands and knees one more time I was going to scrub the finish off of them. *blush* I dusted, I organized the food in my cabinets by type and made sure all the labels were facing forward, I cleaned closets, we rearranged furniture, etc. I basically was a nesting nut. Turns out, none of that is needed she was looking for a safe place for children and adequate space. And yes, our social worker assured us that it was normal to be worried about it and clean ourselves into a frenzy. Based on our home size, we decided that our homestudy was going to say that we could accept placement of up to two children. We also talked about the neighborhood, the area activities that we participate in, etc.

The next part was the hardest for me. Waiting for all the paperwork to come back, the social worker to write it up and have her supervisor sign off. I remember getting the call telling us that our homestudy was complete and then she asked if she wanted her to mail it or if we wanted to come pick it up. I couldn't wait to see it, so I said I'd be there. I've never gotten shoes on 2 kids so fast before in my life.

It was kind of weird to read about our family. LOL But I saw the glorious words:

Approved to accept placement and adopt up to two children, 0-8 years old, either gender, any race, typical or special needs.

And then came what we thought was going to be REALLY hard part... waiting for a match and placement.....

A Year Ago Today..

A year ago today, I was folding whites during naptime and got a call on our home phone. We rarely have anyone call the home number (most people use our cells out of habit) and I thought it was odd. When I walked over to the caller ID it had the name of an agency we had spoken with a few times on the screen! I thought it was odd and it was almost the close of business for the day but I took a deep breath and pushed the button on our speaker phone and sat in the floor. We were having trouble with our handset so thank God for speakerphone!

Tami, the socialworker, introduced herself and asked if we would be interested in presenting our profile for a week old, biracial baby boy. She also gave me some information on the birthmother, the situation and some health concerns. I said yes. And there was a long pause. Tami said, "Shouldn't you call Brandon and ask him?" Oops! I said yes and let her know that I'd call her right back. I called Brandon and I was talking so fast I had to repeat myself several times. I confessed to him that I said "Yes" and that Tami said I should call him and he laughed. He said "Way to go with your gut!" (I'm typically an overthinker when it comes to big decisions.) He said to call Tami back and tell her that we both said yes.

After I made that phone call we went into overdrive. Our profile book was at the printers! And it had to be at the agency the next morning! Brandon took some personal time from work and picked up our profile book. I don't think either of us slept a wink that night. I dropped off the profile book at the agency the next morning. And the real wait began... The next day we got the best phone call of our life....

I'm still here!

Things are just super busy!

I'm just starting to be buried in boxes! We've been busy packing a little each day so that we can get it all done in time. Of course before you can pack, you sort (trash/donate/keep) and then you usually make a bigger mess than what you started with. We obviously can't live in the mess, so every few boxes, we are cleaning as we go. There are lots of breaks for bottles, new diapers, naptimes, meals etc.

This weekend was beautiful and made it very hard for us to stay indoors. We did make it to a park on Saturday and really enjoyed ourselves.

I've gotten information from 3 agencies so far. We are still praying fervently for guidance. Of course, they don't call their fees the same things, so it's kind of hard to compare apples to apples. I've started a few spreadsheets so I can try to keep up!

Brandon's mom is having surgery on Thursday. They are taking out (?) two discs in her neck and putting hardware in. Prayers for that procedure are greatly appreciated!

I'm headed to bed!

Story of Provision: Xander's Adoption

Stories of provision have always amazed me. I get goosebumps and can't help but announce "Praise God" when I read them, hear them or tell them. Brandon and I often lay in bed, or sit over a meal and reminisce over how abundantly we've been provided for in different circumstances... usually right in the nick of time.

When most people find out that we have adopted, funding an adoption usually is where the conversation goes next. I love encouraging people that God does indeed provide for His orphans!

Brandon's company added an adoption benefit and we found out on Christmas Day 2008. Since he was taken off of one distribution list and not put on the new distribution list when changing offices, he hadn't gotten the email from Human Resources describing the new benefit. Instead, we found out from one of his coworkers. We had invited K and Q over for Christmas Dinner. They also transferred into Richmond and couldn't go home for the holiday. So we figured the more the merrier and invited them.

K and Q live in the same apartment complex but their place has a different layout, so they asked for the grand tour. When we got to the third (smallest) bedroom, I casually said that it was the junk room and would eventually be another child's bedroom because we wanted to adopt. K's eyes got really big and she asked Brandon if he got the memo that their company had added an adoption benefit. He said no. She couldn't remember the details so Brandon looked up the new benefit after K and Q went home. I remember sitting on the couch bawling like a baby... his company had added a $5,000 adoption reimbursement. $5,000 is ALOT of money!

Before we transferred, we had inquired with several agencies and social workers and never seemed to get anywhere. Brandon and I prayed after hearing the news of the new benefit and decided that we were to call and get information. We were ready to start our homestudy.

We had nothing saved specifically for an adoption. I mean... not a dime. I remember praying before making my phone calls to several agencies. A homestudy alone was $1800 in our area. I blinked and gulped hard.. and made an appointment for our first visit. $600 would need to be paid at that time.

Brandon and I looked over our budget spreadsheets and "found" enough money for that first appointment by cutting back some discretionary spending and putting off some planned purchases.

We paid that first $600 and went to our first appointment. We went over the various types of adoption... and their related expenses. We made our next appointment in faith that we would have the next $600 in time. We had some paperwork/document things to take care of and each one had a fee. We always managed to have JUST ENOUGH to pay those fees. Fingerprinting, background checks, etc were all paid in cash.

Again we had the money for our next appointment. Brandon received three paychecks in January 2009 and we had enough for the remaining $1200 balance, by scrimping on groceries, watching our gas usage, etc.

So our homestudy was paid for. And I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

We started a savings account and regularly put little bits of money in there. It wasn't a lot. I stayed up many nights looking at the numbers, looking over the budget spreadsheets, etc. I'm sad to share that many times, I thought we had just spent $1800 on our homestudy for NOTHING. Doubt definitely crept in and made itself at home.

March 24th our adoption homestudy was approved and it was in my hot little hands. I remember checking the balance on our savings account and it was only a little over $1000. Not nearly enough to adopt. I prayed for God to make a way. We had stepped out in faith... we heard the call of the orphan... I remember begging God 'Please please, show us how to pay for this!"

To be perfectly honest, several of our relatives thought we were a bit insane. "You paid $1800 for a homestudy and you don't even have the money for the actual adoption? What are you thinking? You should have waited until you had it all in an account!" But Brandon and I had felt this sudden sense of urgency.. we needed to do it right then!

Shortly after we were approved, I got a call from our homestudy worker. She called to tell us that she had received an email from an adoption coordinator that worked for another agency. The other agency was networking to find potential adoptive parents for an African American baby girl due in May. The birthmother wanted the child to have at least one sister and she thought of us since we had two daughters. She didn't have any other information and gave us the number to the agency.

We called and found out that that agency had a sliding scale for their adoption fees! We also found out that based on our household income from the previous year our placement fee would be $5,000! (Yes, the exact amount that Brandon's company would reimburse us!)

We had our homestudy sent to the agency and started preparing our profile. They were going to show it on April 20th at a meeting with the birthmother that was due in May.

We continued to save.. but we were nowhere near $5000!

April 13th, I got a call asking if we were interested in a biracial baby boy.. Brandon and I prayed and said yes... Now remember we were NOWHERE near $5000! The adoption coordinator told us to bring our adoption profile by the next morning and we'd be in the stack for the birthmother to look over.

I got a huge knot in my stomach... We didn't have the cash! What if we were picked? How on earth was this going to work?

I woke up in the middle of the night, that very night.. and realized that we had just filed our income taxes! It wasn't $5000 though. I ran downstairs and added up the amount we had in savings, and the amount of our tax refund and it was $5120. It was the perfect amount! $5000 for the placement and we still needed an infant carseat.

Brandon called the adoption coordinator and explained that we were waiting on our tax refund to complete our adoption fund... she said that she could work with us and not to worry.

We were picked by Xander's birthmother on April 14th, and met our first son on April 15th.

Guess when the check came? April 25th.. Xander came home on April 27th.

PRAISE GOD! (Told you I couldn't hear, read or tell a story of provision without shouting that!)

God didn't stop there! We had to pay a lawyer to finalize our adoption after our 6 month placement and post placement visits. We were given the name of a lawyer from a friend and when we called we found out that their charge was $1000. Brandon and I prayed to see if this was the lawyer we would retain.

A few days later, I casually mentioned to our adoption coordinator that we were calling various lawyers to find out what their fees were. She gave me the name and number of a lawyer she has worked with a few times. We called and their estimate was much lower. It was approximately $650. Before we even asked about payments, we were told that they understood that we had just paid for an adoption and they would take payments. Brandon explained that we were going to be getting $5000 reimbursed after we had the paperwork showing that we had finalized our adoption. They let us know it was okay to pay them afterwards.

I sent that check this last Friday. Everything is paid in full.

PRAISE GOD!

When people ask about funding an adoption, I always tell them that God will abundantly bless their efforts! I have several friends that have adopted and I'm ALWAYS in awe when they share their stories of provision for their new additions.