Monday, December 28, 2009

Battling Fear...

I have to actively battle fear. Deep down I'm a 'fraidy cat and it just seems to be getting worse the older I am. Maybe it is because I am starting to realize just how precious life is and how much I still have left to do here.

Satan has always chosen to attack my thoughts around my parenting, child raising, and my children. He knows that my children are my heart and well... a very vulnerable spot in my heart. The most recent subject he has started to attack is our decision on a repeat csection vs. VBAC (v*ginal birth after c-section.) I desire a VBAC and am a candidate. I birthed DeLainey v*ginally and had a planned c-section for Julianne because she had her cord wrapped around her neck among other issues. I also was seeing one of the most csection happy doctors in the area I lived in. (Word to the wise, check your doctors stats and if they are out of line with the national norm, start asking questions.)

Neither one of my birthing experiences were wonderful, magical or any of the other words I've heard used for childbirth. I had several rude medical professionals cross my path each time. I was stressed, nervous, in pain (yes for both!), and just well, not anything beautiful or magical or anything like that.

Recently I've been doubting if I can do either. Which is well, laughable because the baby has to come out one way or the other right? Yes.. after giving birth twice I still doubt I can do it.

And then I logged into my favorite parenting site ever and read what a dear friend posted. She said that a friend emailed it to her. What a timely message for me!

Praying Scripture for my Unborn Child

"Father, in Jesus’ name, I thank You for my unborn child. I know this child is a gift from You.

I commit this child to You, Father and ask that he will grow and call me blessed.
You have made me a joyful mother of children. I am blessed with a heritage from You as my reward.

My child is created in Your image and it is in You that my child lives and moves and has his being. I ask Your blessing upon him or her.

Your grace is sufficient for me through this pregnancy. Thank you for strengthening my weakness.

I cast all my care and burden of this pregnancy over on You, Lord, for You care for me. I put on the whole armor of God so that I may be able to stand against the tricks and traps of the devil. I recognize that my fight is not with flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers and the rulers of darkness and spiritual wickedness in high places. God, help me to stand, above all, taking the shield of faith and being able to quench the attacks of the devil with Your mighty power. Help me to stand in faith during this pregnancy and birth, not giving any room to fear, but possessing power, love and a sound mind.

Perfect Love casts out fear. You are that perfect Love. I am not afraid because I am fixed and trusting upon You, Father. Help me to think on good things.
Heavenly Father, You are my refuge. I trust You during this pregnancy and childbirth. I thank You that You have put angels at watch over me and my unborn child.

Would you please bless us with a liberal amount of Your wisdom for the decisions that are to be made?

And may the peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep my heart and mind through Christ Jesus.
I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. When I acknowledge you in all my ways, You will direct my path.

I praise You and thank you, in Jesus’ name, Amen."

Scriptures used: Ps. 127:3; Prov.31:28; Ps. 113:9; Ps. 127:3; Gen 1:26; Acts 17:28a; I Pet.5:7; II Cor.12:9; Eph. 6:11, 12,16; 2 Tim. 1:7; I John 4:18; Phil. 4:8; Ps. 91:2, 11; James1:5,6a; Phil. 4:7; Pro. 3:5,6

Each time the doubt creeps in, I pray this prayer. I've prayed it several times in a row at times. Either way.. repeat csection or VBAC, God already knows the outcome and has it planned.

Thank you Father, for giving me these precious words to hold onto. I pray I stand on the truths that You've sent for us in the Word. Thank you for the awesome blessing of motherhood and yet another baby to raise to know You.

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