Aching..

I've struggled with whether or not to discuss this openly on my blog... but part of me feels that it would be untruthful to not share.

The world of adoption isn't even close to a world of sunshine and rainbows.

There, I said it.

I think that alot of people, even adoptive parents, think that the domestic adoption process is "easier." I've been told that several times over. Each path has it's own pros and cons... and it really depends on where you have been called. This isn't a debate.

The adoption world (no matter which path you choose) is a system of jumping through hoops and then waiting. Hurry up!!!! .. and wait. Back and forth, you are tossed between two extremes.

And we knew it full well when we started.

The little one that we hoped to be matched with.. the one that we sped through paperwork and had it faxed to his agency the day that our homestudy was approved... he still waits. Brandon called the agency to make sure our homestudy had arrived and was given some more information.

He's waited 6 months with no permanency. Not because there aren't families that would welcome him in their home. Not because he has special needs that families feel they can't manage.

He's had no permanency because his birthfamily simply refuses to make a decision. They made the decision to make an adoption plan for him, but they've hemmed and hawed for 6 months over who to match with. They wanted a family with a children's hospital nearby. Those families sent in paperwork. Then they wanted a family with children with the same diagnosis and experience. So those families sent in paperwork.

And he still waits. With no permanency in his little life.

It frustrates me all the way down to the core of my being. I have no doubts that making an adoption plan is hard to do. But if you've already done half of the process.. why not finish? Doesn't he deserve it?

This particular child's circumstances have eaten away at me since mid-June and there is nothing I can do, but take it to my Father in prayer.

Sometimes I wonder: If I really knew what I was asking for when I asked for Him to break my heart for what breaks His, would I have done it? And the truth is, I have no idea. Somedays it just seems like too much. And then I think of all the sacrifice that Jesus has made for us.

Would you pray for this little one? Pray that his birthparents make the decisions neccessary to give him permanency. Lots of adoptive families have submitted their information for him. Lots and lots.

~Stephanie

PS: We are still waiting to hear about SB.